Far worse than cancer

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 11/11/2007 10:52 AM (GMT -6)   
My silence on the board since my bad pathology report has been due to a family tragedy. Our son took his own life just before we returned from my out of town surgery. Therefore, instead of concentrating on my recovery we were instead making all the necessary phone calls and arrangements. We are devasted emotionally and physically drained. There are no words to express our sadness. I completely repressed my illness through this horrible period. We are only now beginning to return to the matter of my prostate cancer. We appreciate your prayers and thoughts.

My recovery from the da vinci surgery has seemed to progress okay. I start work tomorrow. Still going through some pads but gaining some control. Erectile function seems to be okay. It is very depressing to me to now begin the search for radiologist oncologist and GU oncologist. My first PSA test will be in about 6 weeks. It has been recommended to proceed with discussing/locating resources in case the PSA results are not good. I noticed several guys going through the same stage that I am at with trying to decide if and when radiation is appropriate. Obviously I would not be as concerned if not for the positive margin, T3 tumor and the extraprostatic extension.

Any recommendation for experienced oncologists in the Dallas- Fort Worth area would be appreciated.

I will once again lean heavily upon my friends from this forum.

Thanks so much.

Age 55
PSA 3.9
Gleason 3+3=6
Biopsy 7/16/2007
3 of 12 (2@<1.0mm / 1@2.0mm
Da Vinci 10/17/07
1.5 hr.by Fagin
Saved both nerve bundles
New Gleason grade 3+4=7
Positive pathology - margin - focally involved left anteropical
Extraprostatic extension - focally identified
Paths stage pT3a, NX, MX

PSA in 6 weeks

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 11/11/2007 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear ~ Laswell, family, & friends…



                There are no words for   ~  

                                                      Only shoulders to lean on…


 And “hugs” to comfort you as best they can…

 Holding You Close in Thoughts and Prayers

                                 Sending extra “hugs” at this time.


May the memories held deep within your heart ~

Help to soothe your spirit at this time.


We are so thankful to know ~ you are reaching out..

As a team ~ we can help you move forward. 

And as friends ~ we feel your pain. 

There are many shoulders here ~ so lean on all of us.

Our thoughts and prayers surround you and your family. 

No matter where we are in life…. things happen that are out of our control. 

Take control of your pc and

                      know there is strength in *numbers (*friends at HealingWell)!!!

In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy

mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy… from North Carolina


v          We invite you to visit our personal thread:  Click Here:  “Our Journey” ~ Sharing is Caring 

April 3, 2006  53 on surgery day

RRP / Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy

PSA 4.6   Gleason  3+3=6    T2a   Confined to Prostate

3rd PSA 08-07-2007 Less than 0.1 Non-Detectable :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 11/11/2007 12:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, Laswell!! As Bulebird said, mere words cannot express our sadness at your news. Know that we will remember you, your family and your son in our prayers. I know you will find the strength to press on with your own treatment and recovery. God bless.
60 years old
Dx March 2007
Pre-Surgery Gleason 3+3 = 6
Clinical Stage: T1c
Biopsy: 1 in 10 positive
Da Vinci: June 7, 2007 
Post-Surgery Gleason 3+3 = 6
   Clear at margins
First Post-PSA Sept 07 = <.01 (Hooray!!)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 621
   Posted 11/11/2007 2:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Laswell -- our thoughts and prayers are certainly going out to you. How rough a time for you! Can't even begin to imagine. Here's hoping your first PSA is a good number.
Hugs to you and your family.
;o) Linda & Bob
Bob (61) - Laproscopic Prostate Removal Sept 27, 2006.
2 of 12 malignant biopsy samples - gleason 3 + 3 = 6.
Pathology - cancer completely contained, even a second more aggressive, previously undetected cancer)
PSA UNDETECTABLE Nov 2006, Feb, May, Oct2007.  ONE YEAR!!!! WHOOO HOOOO! 

Bob also has two secondary conditions -- Polycythemia (elevated red & white cells & platelets) and . . Myelofibrosis) -- If anyone has experience with or information on these, please email us.

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 11/11/2007 2:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, My,
No words here either. Only condolences. Laswell, your loss is of the lowest of low points. I pray for you, your family, your hearts and your healing. Both from the surgery and the loss. God Bless you Laswell.

Age 45 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8
Surgery on Feb 16, 2007
Post-Op Pathology was poor: Gleason 4+3=7, 4 positive margins, Stage pT3b (Stage III)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
My PSA did drop out after surgery to undetectable.  It has not returned and I will continue HT until January '08.
My Life is supported very well by family and friends like you all.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 11/11/2007 3:15 PM (GMT -6)   

So, so sorry for your loss. Will be thinking and praying for you and your family through this difficult time.

Sorry not to be able to help with the radiologist

Take care


Age - 59
Dianosed - July 07
Gleason 8 (4+4)
PSA - 17
Bone Scan - August 07 revealed mets to spine, neck, rib, shoulder and pelvis
MRI - August 07 revealed seminal vesicle involvement
Treatment - Zolodex started on August 10th
First PSA test November 7th - 2.3

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 528
   Posted 11/11/2007 7:39 PM (GMT -6)   
You have my deepest sympathy.

Are you close enough to Houston and M.D. Anderson for it to be feasible? M.D. Anderson is the absolute best.

1/2005 Dx PSA 26.5 Gleason 7 (4+3) @Age 61
1/2005 Start Casodex and Zoladex
7/2005-8/2005 5 weeks of IMRT and then HDR brachy
1/2007 Rad Oncologist orders CT scan of pelvis
because of complaints of pain in both thighs
MRI confirms pain not caused by cancer BUT
1/2007 CT scan of pelvis picks up a nodule at bottom of left lung
5/2007 CT scan of lungs shows 1/2007 nodule has grown and
there are numerous nodules on both lungs.
6/2007 Thoracic surgeon removes wedge of left lung for biopsy
6/2007 Path report says 95% chance of metastatic PCa, but she's
never seen cells like this before.
7/2007 2nd opinion at M.D. Anderson in Houston.
They confirm: mutated PCa, very rare, but seen there 2 or
3 times. Recommendation: have CT scans every 6 weeks
and watch for change. At that point start chemo and will
survive for 22 - 24 months thereafter.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1464
   Posted 11/11/2007 7:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Laswell,

Losing a child for any reason is probably the worst disaster a family can endure. MaryLu and I reach out to you and share your grief. While nothing can change the past, be assured that we are hoping and praying for a better future for you and yours.

Please stay with us...

Age 73. Diagnosed 11/03/06. PSA 7.05. Stage T2C Gleason 3+3.
RRP 12/7/06. Nerves and nodes okay.
Pathological stage: T2C. Gleason 3+4. Cancer confined to prostate.
PSAs from  1/3/07 - 10/17/07 0.00. 
Started Tri-Mix on 8/7/07.  .05 ml and 50 mg Viagra.  It works!!!
Next PSA test on 1/15/08
"Patience is essential, attitude is everything."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 741
   Posted 11/11/2007 8:23 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Laswell,

I haven't the words to express my sorrow at your situation.  I can imagine nothing worse than the death of a child.  I offer my deepest sympathy.  I wish I could do, or say more.  My best to you.

I did radiation in Dallas at a clinic near Presby Dallas on 75 just north of the hospital.  They have a new radiation oncologist whom I don't know.  The phone number is 214-691-9377.  My situation was different than yours, but I was happy with my treatment and results.

I hope that you are able to find some peace in your life.



August of 2006, PSA up to 4.2 from 2.7 one year ago. 
October free and total PSA 12% free and 5.0 total.
A month, or so later, 4.7.
Late in the year decide on Image Guided IMRT.
Begin 43 treatments on January 23, 2007 and finish on March 23.
Four month post treatment PSA is 1.9.  (This is a very good result.)
No side, or after effects.  None.
I have aged a year and am now 63.  How did that happen?

Tim G
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2361
   Posted 11/11/2007 8:25 PM (GMT -6)   

I am so sorry to hear about the tragic death of your son.  May you find comfort during this difficult time for you.

And I hope that you have a good outcome with your ongoing prostate cancer treatment.

Take care and hang in there!




Age 59 PSA 2.6 (Quadrupled in one year) Gleason 5
Bilateral nerve-sparing RRP 6/21/06
Cancer confined to prostate, post-op PSA's non-detectable

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 11/11/2007 10:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Laswell,

My sincere condolences at your loss. My hope is that you have people there near you who can provide support and love through this mourning time.

With heartfelt sympathy,

Sue Bee
Husband diagnosed 9/06 at age 81; after PSA test of 26.5 (baseline PSA was 14-16 for many years);
Biopsy highest Gleason 4+4=8; prostate size 100 cc
Started HT 12/06, 4 months, prostate size 75 (Apr 07); additional 3 months HT, prostate size 79 cc PSA .14 (July 07).
Dx: Stage T1c or T3c? one slightly enlarged abdominal lymph node
TURP 1999 negative for PCa

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1219
   Posted 11/11/2007 11:07 PM (GMT -6)   

Oh Laswell, I'm so sorry for your immeasurable loss. Losing a child is beyond any pain we're prepared to deal with.  You & your family are in my thoughts.

It's good to see you're looking forward and dealing with your continued care.  It is important you take the steps to learn all you can before a decision has to be made. 

It sounds small right now but please know that we're here for you.



Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 883
   Posted 11/11/2007 11:10 PM (GMT -6)   
So sorry to hear your sad news. We will be here for you in any way we can.

    PSA 5.7 - Discovered during Annual Physical with Family Practice Dr.
        Biopsy Sept. 27, 2006 - Diagnosis Sept. 29 - 3 of 12 positive (up to 75%) all on left side of prostate, Gleason 7
        RRP on Oct. 17, - Nerves on right side saved.
    All Lab's clear.  No Cancer outside prostate
    Cathiter in for 28 days due to complications in healing. Removed Nov. 9, 2006
    First Post op PSA on Dec. 11, 2006  Undetectable 0.00
    Office visit on Jan. 19th due to continued excessive urine leakage.
    Feb.20th Cystoscope and 2nd Post Op PSA. Another 0.00.....:)
    Dr. said everything looks fine.  Continue to work Kegeal's. Leaking appears to have improved  after Cystoscope?!?!?!  Down to 3-4 pads per day!
    March 1st  Leaking has crept back up to 6 - 8 pads a day ??????? 
    March 29th Collagen injection into sphincter / bladder neck area to control excessive leaking.  Worked for a couple of days then back to leaking.
    April 17th (Six Months Post Op) 2nd Collagen Injection to control excessive leaking.  Leaking started back next day at work!
    May 14th Second Opinion about my leaking and Options at OU Medical Center.  After reviewing my records the Dr. feels I will probably need some surgical intervention to stop my leaking.  But did agree to try Bio-Feedback and work hard on the Kegeal's first!
    May 30th Follow up with my Dr. and 3rd Post Op PSA 0.00 agian!!!
    June 1st Start Bio-Feedback to try to control my leaking.
    Oct 17, 2007 1 year Post Op - Still fighting moderate / Severe incontenance. Using 4-6 pads a day.  Erections usable....sometimes!...Better with 100mg Viagra

Doting Daughter
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1064
   Posted 11/11/2007 11:16 PM (GMT -6)   
My heart breaks for you and your family.  I am so sorry for your loss.  It's any parents greatest nightmare.  You will be in our thoughts and prayers.  Please remember your friends here that will be thinking of you and hoping each day that passes gets easier. 
In peace,
Father's Information
DX July 15, 2007
Age 62 (now 63)
PSA 5.5
Original Gleason 3+4=7 
Post Surgery Gleason- 4+3=7
DaVinci Surgery Aug 31, 2007
Focally Positive Right Margin
One positive node
Bone Scan/CT Negative (Sept. 10, 2007)
T3a N1 M0
Oct. 17 PSA 0.07

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 11/11/2007 11:24 PM (GMT -6)   

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time and forward.

God Bless, Vickie and Paul

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 234
   Posted 11/11/2007 11:44 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Laswell,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know suicide is one of the most difficult deaths to deal with, My 1st husband committed suicide and the only thought that helped me thru it was knowing that the pain he was feeling at the time he decided to take his life was finally over for him. I hope and pray that you and the rest of your family can get thru this tragic event. You are in our prayers. I am glad to see your are back to working on your cancer and I hope you will post often. Rick is a T3a patient and watching others post is very helpful.

God Bless you


Rick & Diana
6-30-06  PSA 2.54
1-22-07  PSA 4.98
1-26-07  PSA 5.09
Diag: 2-14-07 Gleason 8 Stage T1c PSA 5.09
Bone Scan 3-1-07 Clear
3-6-07 Triple Spinal Fusion (due to old back injury)
Radical retropubic surgery 4-2-07  Post surgery Gleason 9 Stage T3a Positive margins
4-29-07 PSA 0.02
6-9-07   PSA 0.02
7-6-07   PSA 0.03
8-1-07   CT Scan & Chest X-Ray   Clean
 9-26-2007 PSA 0.07
11/1/07 PSA 0.1

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 165
   Posted 11/12/2007 12:42 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear Laswell

As the others mentioned, I'm sorry for your loss.  There's no way I can understand or feel what your going through.

As far as PC, you can see by my signature line that I'm very similar to you, even age wise.  Even though my first post surgical PSA was .01, because of my positive margins, my doctors were talking about adjuvant RT right away.  Recently revealed studies have shown that adjuvant RT within the first year for positive margin patients, will decrease the probability of reoccurance.  I wasn't excited about hormones, which my docs perscribed two months prior to radiation and want to continue for a total of two years.  I had virtually no side effects with the 32 radiation sessions, and so far, just a few with the hormones.  However, my surgeon mentioned that the RT has probably wiped out the nerves he spared.  Looking at both sides, I would vote for an increased probability of longer life than the nerves he spared.

Hang in there...you have lots of friends here, and a strong support group at home.

PSA 4.7 (up from 3.2 one year ago)
Biopsy November 8, 2006 1 of 10 cores positive 5% LEFT Side Gleason 3+3
Robotic surgery January 19, 2007
Post Surgery Pathology
     Stage T3a, Gleason 3+4, positive margins and
     capsular penetration RIGHT Side
Post Surgery PSA:  March 5:  0.01
5 month PSA, June 13, 2007:  0.08
Adjuvant therapy began June 26 with Zoladex injection
Radiation began August 23, ended October 8

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 762
   Posted 11/12/2007 4:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Laswell,
Our thoughts are with you at this very, very sad time. Lana & CJ
Creed_three (Lana & CJ)
Husband CJ aged 49 yrs. 
First PSA 3.5 (Nov 06). 1 x (5%) core of 12 positive at biopsy. 11 cores negative. Open Radical Prostatectomy with nerve sparing, on Tuesday 17th April 2007 (Sydney, Australia). Gleeson 3 + 4 = 7.  Cancer confined to prostate. Margins all clear, including bladder neck and seminal vessicles. 
1st PSA 0.01 - undetectable (June 07)
2nd PSA 0.02 - undetectable (Oct 07)

Cedar Chopper
Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 11/12/2007 6:30 AM (GMT -6)   

No one really knows how to act with such a loss.
We, your saddened friends here, offer love and support - more than can ever be expressed on a computer screen.

As this and most any comfort offered by anyone likely rings hollow for you right now,
   - be assured that we hold on to hope for you and your family.

"The Light shines in the darkness and yet the darkness does not overcome it."

Your Friend,


Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 11/12/2007 7:08 AM (GMT -6)   


So very sorry about the loss of your son.  Our familly also is a survivor of suicide.  My 24 year old brother completed a suicide almost 20 years ago and it was devistating for everybody.  My mother has, since then, been very active in a group called SOS "Survivors of Suicide".   That group has been a lifeline for her.  I know she would be willing to talk to you or your wife.  Until suicide personally hits you or your family you have no idea how prevalant it really is.

As hard as it is...take care of yourself, physically and emotionally.


Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 474
   Posted 11/12/2007 8:40 AM (GMT -6)   

Laswell - your loss is felt like a wave through this forum. There are no words to add, just our sincerest condolences.

We, too, think M.D. Anderson is a truly great facility, but sometimes it's best to be closer to home when dealing with some treatments. You're so fortunate to be in the DFW area as you'll certainly find some fine resources there.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 400
   Posted 11/12/2007 11:19 AM (GMT -6)   


I can only echo all of the above and truly hope that this forum will be a comfort to you and your family who will be in our thoughts and prayers.


Diagnosed Feb 2001  (Age 65)  Currently 72
PSA 4.8      Gleason 3+3=6      Stage   T2b
Completed Proton Therapy @ Loma Linda - Aug 2001 - No side effects.
6yr PSA - 0.19
Our responsibility now is to educate men about Pca, PSA and the importance of early detection. 

common man
New Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 11/12/2007 12:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Laswell After reading your post I feel I no longer have any problems
age 66 , pc discovered 2005, psa 9+, did radiation and psa went down to .4, psa apr07 3.4 aug 07 went to 7+ gleason is 8

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 11/12/2007 1:40 PM (GMT -6)   
The words that come to mind are insufficient...May He hold your son on one hand and the rest of your family in the other.
Diagnosed 8/24/06
Gleason 6
PSA 3.32
stage T1C
age 48
da Vinci on 10/20/06
Last PSA Oct '07 = ZERO
Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Friend
"Never miss a good chance to listen."

M. Kat
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 11/13/2007 2:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Laswell - my heart is breaking for you, your family and your son. There are many excellent treatments out there and the survival rates are excellent. God bless all of you....kat
Husband Jeff 56 years old diagnosed July 27, 2006
PSA 6.5, 2 positive areas in biopsy, Gleason 3+3=6
Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy August 30, 2006
pathology report - all clear - cancer gone
1st post-surgery PSA test <0.1, 2nd post-surgery PSA test <0.1, 3rd PSA <0.1
no more pads Oct 12, 2006
first "real" erection with use of pump 12/16/06
3/07 - occasional dribbles and erections with Cialis and pump
8/07 - 1 yr PSA <0.1
9/1/07 - achieved erection with Viagra - no pump!

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