I won't attempt to tell you to talk you out of your feelings, etc., because that wouldn't take in your present state of mind. I understand your sense of loss, your anger, and your depression. There isn't much I can do to make you feel better mentally, but I can offer a couple of maybe concrete solutions. If you are soaking the Guards, have you tried using a think pad inside them, as another barrier. I used extra adsorbant pads for a while and they will soak up a lot of liquid. Maybe this combo would allow you more time to get to the bathroom, and even only have to replace the inner pad. Also, maybe the Guards aren't what you need- possiblity you would have better results wearing just one of the super-extra adsorbant pads like the Poise or Assurance brand pads. These are more like a sanitary napkin, but really soaks up lots of liquid.
Now, this one may get some response from some others, but this is only an option, not a recommendation. In your current state of mind, with the sense of failure and ddepression affecting your everyday life so deeply, maybe you need to discuss with your Doctor the possibilty of using a condom catheter. Look them up on any search engine. Basically an tight fitting condom with a line attached feeding urine to a collection bag strapped on the thigh. Normally I wouldn't even mention it, instead recommedning you stay the course, let yourself heal, tell you it's too early to give up, etc. But if your desperation, disgust, depression and self-blaming is affecting your everyday life so profoundly, then "maybe" you need something that would allow you to find a place to regain your sense of control and improved self image. The condom catheter is a drastic step, signifying an admission of failure for most people. Maybe you need it or some other to-be-recommended step to help you regain your confidence. Others hopefully will have some less drastic alternative.
I can tell you that I hear of men who, when they regained their continence, did so in a short period of time, seemingly overnight. I pray this happens for you.