This post can be classified as my "venting". I prefer that description rather than my "whining & whimpering" which is probably closer to the truth.
To the outside world (other than my wife) I'm facing this surgery with my customary confidence, self assured nature. Inside I'm screaming I can't believe this is actually going to happen. Less than 72 hours from now I'm going to submit myself to 3-4 hour surgical procedure & wakeup (hopefully) with tubes & whatnot sticking out of me.
Currently prostate cancer is the nebulous entity that I've been told that I have. It causes me no pain or problems. Intellectually I know I have it, the consequences of not dealing with it, etc. The idea of not dealing with it & postponing surgery is a tantalizing, albeit evil idea that periodically torments me.
I am indeed going to do this because it is the most prudent choice for me. However, I was wondering if anyone else experiences these misgivings at the eleventh hour or am I going insane?