bi polar? depression? throat problems?

i have never been on a website like this before. i feel i need to find a solution. over the last 18mnths i have spent most of it wishing i was dead because of an irritation i have in my throat. i wanted an operation to make it better and so i could live happily with my life. i was told they couldnt operate on me. i thought i had a bone srticking out, which i have but thats ok it must have always been like that. Now i feel like my ulvea has enlarged and it gets very irritated. i feel like ive got a tight throat and its closed in which makes the back of my tongue and ulvea have lots of contact. it takes over my mind then i end up swallowing alot and using my tongue to feel the area and it becomes more and more irritated. to me its the most awful feeling in the world and im desperate to escape it. i want to have ulvea cut off but then would that make a difference? would i still swallow alot and cause irritation to the skin in that area or not. i constantly think about what i am doing with my mouth. i always seem to have my mouth tensed up trying not to move my tongue so no further irritation is caused. seems like there different things that contribute to my throat such as its worse if i have a hangover. also the weather could be an issue? or is it all in my head? i have been to see 3 throat speacialist. they see no problem. i have been diagnosed before with farangitis which has been a re occuring problem. because of this constant irritation could this start the progression of cancer?