Posted 3/15/2017 7:38 PM (GMT -6)
Help, I am completely heart broken. My girlfriend of 7 1/2 years has completely shut me out of her life since two weeks ago. She had a complete thyroidectomy about 3 years ago. I remember doing research on this before she had the surgery to see what the side affects were, yet I totally forgot about it until it came to bite me in the ass nearly 2 years later. She had them removed due to cancer nodules (same bullcrap you hear all the time, later found out it was benign). She was okay for about a year and half after the surgery. Gradually things started changing in her. She had horrible mood swings, paranoia, short tempered, always angry, very fatigued all the time and the worse, NO SEX DRIVE. I honestly didn't relate the thyroid to these symptoms. I thought that she was falling out of love with me or cheating, but I now know that this is not the case. When you don't live with the person who has this condition, it makes it ten times harder because the communication was deteriorating.
We have had no intimacy for a little over a year and I was very hurt by this and didn't understand why. She used to have a very healthy sex drive. She only lives 10 blocks from me. She is 30 and I'm 37. She used to come sleep over 3 nights a week up until about 3 months ago, then it decreased to one night a week and now nothing. I have seen the soul get sucked out of her. She would always tell me that "it's not you, I'm just going through some personal issues". This didn't do much for me. She still said "I love you" to me up until about two weeks ago. She slowly started communicating less and less with me. Of course this bothered me because I wanted to know what was going on. She blew me off on valentines day and new years. I later found out that she was sleeping in her room the whole time and she lied to me and said she was "going out with friends". She would always lie to me and say she was going out, but she really wasn't, she was sleeping in her room the whole time. She lives with her mother. Her parents divorced about 4 years ago and they have been trying to sell their apartment for a while but no buyers yet. Her mother is not helpful and makes the situation worse. She is embittered from the divorce so she hates all men.
We had our share of arguments because of this and on a few occasions, I just exploded because I couldn't take it anymore because I was being treated so horribly and I did absolutely nothing wrong. The arguements were always the same, that I felt that she was slipping away and all I wanted to do was spend more time together. I even proposed to her three years ago and have been waiting for her to move in with me, but she stays with her mother instead. Two weeks ago, she texts me saying that she wants to give me back the ring and that I should date other girls. A few days before this, I took her out to dinner and she was lovey dovey with me and some what affectionate. Even though our relationship was heading down hill with no sex, time spent together and affection, she still wanted to be with me. about a week or two before her period her pms or pmdd symptoms would be out of control. She would turn into a monster. After her period, she would then return to somewhat normalcy. Now this is not the case, her symptoms don't get better after her period any more. She ended a 7 1/2 year by text message. I can remember that this woman would never want to lose me and would say how happy she is to be with me and wanted to have a future with me. I can understand if this was a one or two year relationship, but come on, we have been together for a long time and I know that this is not her. She has changed for the worse. I'm very depressed and I burst out in tears when I get home from work and curl up and cry on the floor. I have never been so depressed over love before as I am now. I wish I could have figured out what was going on before. I was stupid and I took everything personally that she said and I would lash back at her defending myself when she would say horrible things to me.
She even blocked my number. I was able to have a short phone conversation with her a few days ago because I texted her mother to tell my "fiance" that if she didn't call me, I would go to her apartment and wait in the lobby for her. This finally convinced her to call me. She said to me that she doesn't love me anymore. She was very cold to me on the phone. She then said she was scared that I would stalk her and then stab her with a knife. ***!!! I am not a violent person at all. She thinks everybody is against her.
If I knew that this was her personality, I would have told myself "eff it", and I would have ended the relationship myself. But I know this is not her. I'm so hurt by this. I love her so much and I would give her everything and do anything for her. I have been such a big part of her life. I feel that half of my soul has been stolen. I feel that this unnecessary thyroid removal has caused all these problems. All I can do right now is pray to God to give her a little window of clarity so she can at least talk to me. I have been researching online different treatments for this condition and most of these treatments don't take insurance. I will pay out my pocket for this. I don't care, I just want her to get better. I want the love of my life back. I want my soul mate back. I'm so confused, because how could this once sweet loving girl turn into such wack job. I just want to help her. The problem is that she doesn't realize that this depression and negative thoughts are a result of a hormonal imbalance. She thinks that this is how she should feel. This is not who she is. I can't do anything now. I feel helpless, anxious, depressed. My gut instinct tells me that I cannot give up hope. I CANNOT and will not give up hope. It's not her fault she is like this. I know it's not.
I'm close to her father, thank god. He is much more rational and my last hope. I have been in contact with him and met with him a few times over the past two weeks. He still has contact with her, and she depends on him for money sometimes. He is on my side and understands what I'm going through but since he doesn't see her or talk to her on a daily basis and since he's a father and not a lover, he doesn't notice her symptoms as well as I notice them. If she doesn't get help soon, it's going to get worse. I'm so scared.
I really could use some kind words of support. Don't tell me to take care of myself first. I already know this. Everybody will think I'm crazy for not wanting to forget about her. I cannot get on with my life the same way. I cannot date other girls. I just want my soul mate back so bad. Please help me. I'm very desperate and sad.