I was coming off a pretty good flare and things were returning to normal for me bathroom wise. My wife, 8 year old daughter and I just dropped my wifes friend off at the airport. We were at least 15 minutes from home and I knew that I had to "go" now! It started with the usual crampy, gassy feeling. I am trying to drive and rub my stomach at the same time. My wife is telling me to relax, that everything will be fine. Unfortunately for her and my daughter, things were about
to get not fine and very BAD. I dont know how this is physically possible, but I had an intense gas bubble that wasnt gonna take no for an answer. I knew that if I tried to "vent" anything there would be a mess. But, my body decided that it had reached its maximum pressure, and my rear-end valve flew into the
open position against my will. What happened next was a blur to me. I thought I had just filled my pants. I looked at my horrified wife and could only mouth the words "I am so sorry!" Luckily for my pants and van seat, it was only gas. Unfortunately for my poor wife and daughter, the heat was on and the windows were up. My poor daughter screamed out something about
me being a bad Daddy, and my wife was trying to filter her air through her coat, shirt and napkins while fighting back the vomit. I will say this, I have field dressed deer that smelled better than that. I have since learned to channel this powerful weapon. I will walk through crowds and "crop dust" like a bomber dropping napalm. If the local police need help with crowd control, I am on the call list now. Sadly, I have to register my intestines as a concealed weapon. Just dont be at the range when I have to qualify on that gun!
UC since 01