I know your pain! Go, do I know your pain. I am going through the exact same thing. I am currently not in a flare-up, but I do have many of the symptoms and they are not as bad compared to a flare-up. No bleeding... But the "not knowing when its going to hit" is driving me crazy! I feel like I cannot enjoy life at all anymore because of this.
Mentally, I am a train wreck. My wife and I are active people (especially my wife) and every time we do anything, my mind goes a mile a second thinking about
what could happen, is there a bathroom near by, will I be trapped somewhere, what happens if I have an accident, what will my wife think and on and on and on.....
I acutally have panic and anxiety attacks. Everytime I leave the house my mind starts racing. My wife and I have been invited to go to Ireland this summer, but do you think I got excited about
it? NO! All I could think about
was my UC getting in the way. Talk about
feeling trapped when you are on the plane getting ready to take off! What is a guy supposed to do! I feel like I am actually bringing my wife down with me. I can see the look in her face when I do not get excieted on things as she does. I can even see the frustration.
I have had this condition for over 15 years. I keep telling myself, like you...should I just try to snap out of it? So easy to say....so hard to do. It's not like a swithc where you can just click it off. After this length of time, I believe that my UC has me mentally trainded...but in a bad way. I do try to hide my feelings and emotions from others. I just cannot bring myself to let my UC get in the way for others. Me feeling this way is horrible enough, but to make others feel bad becuase of me? Don't know if I could take that.
I wish I had an answer for you, but I am looking for an answer myself. The depressing thing for me is that there may not be one. :o(
Post Edited (SirJames) : 1/23/2008 10:02:08 AM (GMT-7)