Tomorrow is my every-two-years c-scope. First scope with this new GI, best in town, but he scares me. He is real gruff. I saw him two years ago for a slight flare. He said never stop Asacol, but I had to because of my sorry insurance. It made him mad and I am a real coward and mad people scare me. He put down c-scop, no rush on my record and sent me off. I said I needed to get it done as soon as possible because it terrifies me. Well, THAT made him mad. He said, meanly, "Well, I can't do it tomorrow." But they did have a cancellation the next day. I told him it took 10 years to ever get up the nerve to see a doctor and another 10 years to ever have a scope and it took psychiatrists, and I need to be OUT. No amnesia, OUT. He said "OK. Stick to your guns. Tell me that every year." He called it phobic.
He did a flex-sig while I was in the hospital 2 yr ago. I told him all this. I was OUT and I understand I slept in recovery for an hour-and-a-half. For a 5 min. procedure. I guess I trust him that I will be OUT
We moved once for a year and that guy would not listen. He said "I have something that -one-half milligram and you won't remember the afternoon. I begged him to put me OUT but he said no. Well. 16mg. later, I was awake and screaming. He was screaming back "we can't give you anymore." and "Be still, it is hard to get around this corner." Every GI I have told that to since has put me OUT. So, it occurs to me, they don't WANT you screaming and especially moving.
I am so terrified, it completely overrides the fact that they are looking for cancer and if they find it, it will mean a total colectomy and permanent iliostomy. That is pretty terrified.
This disease terrifies me. GI's terrify me. Being examined terrifies me. Why THIS disease. I could have handled something else.
Please tell me I will be OUT.
Ulcerative Colitis since about 1976
Pan colitis since at least 1994
Never had a flare until MD gave massive dose of Magnesiun while hospitalized for bronchitis.
During subsequent hospitalization for the flare, GI looked me straight in the eye and said "don't ever stop using Asacol."
Insurance company thought otherwise so I'm on no meds.