Need to vent so bad

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sweetmelody
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 3/5/2008 5:26 PM (GMT -6)   
  I am so depressed right now. I don't know if it's because I'm emotional from the prednisone or if it's because of the effects of it.
 
I'm HUUUUGE from this prednisone.. I'm finally alternating from 5 mg one to to 7.5 the next to 5 again...      then two weeks of 5 and hopefully off of these demonic drugs. The problem is I'm going to Las Vegas next week with my husband. I don't have ANY CLOTHES that fit... except for two pairs of jeans and my work shirts. He wants me to go get new outfits for the trip... and something fancy. The problem is with my weight I don't want to go shopping.. I don't want to try anything on... I don't want to go get something cute because I DONT feel cute.. much less SEXY. I just feel like crying constantly right now. 
 
I FEEL LIKE THIS ISN'T MY BODY I'M IN. It's totally changed!!!!!!!!! And no one understands...  sept for you guys... so I'm sorry I'm unloading on here. I just am so depressed about it all.
 
          
Kara, 20
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis March, 07
-Left sided all the way up
-Was on Colazal..it didn't do anything for me. Had horrible flare up...been on lialda and pred since. Seems to be working!
Medications: Colazal 3 pills 3x a day
                  Prednisone - 10mg in the morning w/ food.
                  Lialda - 2 pills in the morning w/ food.


KKubin
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 3/5/2008 5:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel like you have just read my mind!! Do you know how many times I've said that my body does not belong to me anymore? A MILLION!! And I also feel like no one understands, if I complain, my husband just says "i know how you feel...I've had upset stomachs before" ...are you kidding me?? Is that what he really thinks this is?? I know I can't make you feel better, but it just feels good to me to know that someone else knows how I feel. I hope you feel better soon.

Krystal

tjf
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3238
   Posted 3/5/2008 5:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Vent away! I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. Listen...as much as you hate to shop think of how good it will feel to have a couple of new things that fit. Consider them transition clothes. Or get something w/ an elastic type waist. There are tons of cute skirts w/ a stretchy waist that would be perfect for going out. You hang in there!
Tabitha (Tab)

100mg Azathioprine, 2 Fibercon, Colazal-9 a day, Acidopholis Pearls, Nexium

http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Co-Moderator UC Forum


sweetmelody
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 3/5/2008 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
my husband says... itll be gone after you're off... and i'm just like... that DOESN'T help.. it just reminds me that I look like THIS now! He took a picture of my stomach the other day.. and I burst into tears and told him it was the meanest thing he'd ever done. He knows that i'm so upset about my weight right now. I dont want pics of my fat. He wouldn't stop apologizing.
Kara, 20
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis March, 07
-Left sided all the way up
-Was on Colazal..it didn't do anything for me. Had horrible flare up...been on lialda and pred since. Seems to be working!
Medications: Colazal 3 pills 3x a day
                  Prednisone - 5mg to 7.5mg alternating in the morning w/ food.
                  Lialda - 2 pills in the morning w/ food.


jujub
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 10407
   Posted 3/5/2008 6:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Get something with simple, clean lines. Then after you lose weight, you can easily have it altered if you want. Remember, no one else is looking at you the way you look at yourself. In fact most of them are too busy worrying about what they look like to even notice anyone else. Tell yourself that at least you're healthy enough to go and enjoy yourself, instead of having to stay home because you can't get out of the bathroom.

And always look on the positive side. You can always say "Thank goodness I haven't started my post-pred diet yet," and enjoy the buffets, then tackle the pred weight when you get home.
Judy
 
Moderate to severe left-sided UC (21 cm) diagnosed 2001.
Asacol, Rowasa, Pentasa, Prednisone, Entocort, Azathioprine
Colazal,  Remicade, Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri.
In remission since April, 2006. Remicade has been my wonder drug.
 
Co-Moderator UC Forum


sweetmelody
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 3/5/2008 6:41 PM (GMT -6)   
i know that i should be thankful i feel better right now.. i know i should be thankful that i even get to go

but its just so hard to see pictures of how i looked in october... and see them of now. It's SO hard to know how GREAT i felt... and then realize how quickly that feeling went away. I had finally gotten down to a small size... and i didnt get to enjoy it long enough before i gained it all back

I just hate this stupid disease... its so not fair that we have to ****in think about food ALL the time... that we have to think about bowel movements ALL the time... that we get sick so easily... that we have to ****in explain to a million people who JUST DONT get it... that we have trouble with work sometimes when they dont understand... that we have to deal with prednisone.... i HATE that i cant just ****in be normal.. i hate that ANYONE goes through this... and its just not fair. i just need someone to cry on right now darn it. im so overwhelmed
Kara, 20
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis March, 07
-Left sided all the way up
-Was on Colazal..it didn't do anything for me. Had horrible flare up...been on lialda and pred since. Seems to be working!
Medications: Colazal 3 pills 3x a day
                  Prednisone - 5mg to 7.5mg alternating in the morning w/ food.
                  Lialda - 2 pills in the morning w/ food.


sweetmelody
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 3/5/2008 6:41 PM (GMT -6)   
OOPS i forgot profanity was bad

gooodnesss i cuss a lot lol


Kara, 20
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis March, 07
-Left sided all the way up
-Was on Colazal..it didn't do anything for me. Had horrible flare up...been on lialda and pred since. Seems to be working!
Medications: Colazal 3 pills 3x a day
                  Prednisone - 5mg to 7.5mg alternating in the morning w/ food.
                  Lialda - 2 pills in the morning w/ food.


Joylu
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 3/5/2008 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel so sorry for you. This is why I refuse to go on Pred. My Colitis is a nusience, and yes, I worry where bathrooms are when I leave the house, but what I saw my friend go through on Pred, and reading here, I think this is definatley a case of the cure is worse than the disease.
I have never heard of such horrible symptoms in my life.
I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

kb5
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 3/5/2008 9:55 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel for you. I've been on pred for 5 of the last ten years. I am still not off. I'm coming up on two years this time around and have a good 70 lbs i need to lose from the pred and the depression that comes along with it. Just know that you aren't alone. It will get better but it sure sucks right now. Good news is last time i was on pred longer, gained about 50 and lost most of it within two years. I know it can be done and that helps on the days none of my clothes fit. I'm so giving you mental hugs!
Kelly, 29

Left sided UC diagnosed 1/98 age 19, Pan colitis diagnosed 1/07
Currently on 4x3 Asacol, started at 60 mg 1/07, 15 mg pred, down to 10 mg 1/11/08...down to 10/5...
75mg Imuran starting 8/23/07---bumped to 100mg 10/8/07--bumped to 125 11/14/07...
Taken off of Imuran temporarily 1/11/08-back on 1/16/08 now at 150mg imuran
waiting to be scheduled for remicade.
Prontonix once daily for acid reflux, zofran twice daily for nausea, darvocet for pain
antispasmodics didn't work.


eliztopp
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 3/5/2008 11:39 PM (GMT -6)   
i can totally relate! It seems that we are in totally the same situation, and as much as that sucks it is so much better then knowing that i am not alone! i feel the same way about pred. and the weight gain is out of control! I was 115 a year ago and now i'm at 150! how does that happen! and thats down from a few months ago! none of my cloths fit, some are to big and some are to small. But i don't want to go shopping i hate looking in the mirrror, its just awful! and being in college i feel just makes it so much more difficult, no one really understands. and i just want to have the "normal" college expirence! it drives me crazy, i just break down so often now becuase of all this. I am so sick of being sick! and i'm so sick of doctors and talking to people about it who don't understand!
 
{[lizzielu]}
age 20, diagnosed december 2006
meds: Asacol 400mg 4 pills 3x a day; 6-mp 75mg MWF, 50mg SSTTH; 2x iron supplament; 250mg v-C; one-a-day; protonix; prednisone 25mg for one more week! (in the middle of a tapper, down from 40mg started 1/1/08)
low residue diet
Remicade????--pondering, next step


sweetmelody
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 3/6/2008 5:49 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks guys... it helps knowing im not alone. im sorry you guys are goin through it as well.. HUGS to all of you. I'll get through it... its just really hard when the depression hits. Im just sick of bein sick thats all. well.. off to work.. even though I'm exhausted.
Kara, 20
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis March, 07
-Left sided all the way up
-Was on Colazal..it didn't do anything for me. Had horrible flare up...been on lialda and pred since. Seems to be working!
Medications: Colazal 3 pills 3x a day
                  Prednisone - 5mg to 7.5mg alternating in the morning w/ food.
                  Lialda - 2 pills in the morning w/ food.


Rot Gut
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 3/6/2008 6:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Kara, you are YOUNG enough to pull off those sweet babydoll tops! They have become wildly popular and hide a multitude of Prednisone Puffiness.

Get a couple of cheaper ones and just GO HAVE FUN. The strip is only 2 miles long and there's a potty every hundred feet. Please go party!

I've had good luck (gasp!) shopping at Motherhood. A babydoll is a babydoll is a babydoll!
Rot Gut

Left Side UC diagnosed in 1988 while pregnant with twins
Taking PREDNISONE for the first time! Almost done tapering. DONE!
Colazal
Canasa
Aciphex
Celebrex
Methotrexate injectable
Folic Acid
Whining


dakotagirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 3402
   Posted 3/6/2008 12:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I've had the same issues with a pred body. It's awful - however, after watching "what not to wear" I've learned that even heavier can look good. You just need to find a few pieces that fit your body now! Having clothes that flatter you, even if you're heavier than you want to be, will help you feel so much better!

Find something that fits you at the smallest part of your waist - those babydoll tops others are talking about do that so well!

Just a few new pieces for your vacation and a positive outlook - that this won't last forever - will help a ton.

Keep in mind that the pred is making your emotions yo-yo and things really aren't as bad as the pred emotions make them seem! Heck - most of those people in Vegas won't ever see you again! They're going to be too busy with their lives to worry about how you look either. So try to enjoy the shopping before you go and have a good time while you're there!
Pan-colitis and GERD diagnosed May 2003
 
Asacol 12 per day,  Azathioprine 75mg, Aciphex, Effexor XR, Forvia and a Probiotic
Osteopenia (hip and spine) from prednisone use.  Started Azathioprine because I was steroid dependent.
 
Co-Mod for the UC forum
Keep HealingWell running smoothly:  www.healingwell.com/donate


sweetmelody
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 3/6/2008 2:53 PM (GMT -6)   
i feel like the babydolls make me look pregnant lol, but ill try them on ... i guess thats all i can do. thanks guys
Kara, 20
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis March, 07
-Left sided all the way up
-Was on Colazal..it didn't do anything for me. Had horrible flare up...been on lialda and pred since. Seems to be working!
Medications: Colazal 3 pills 3x a day
                  Prednisone - 5mg to 7.5mg alternating in the morning w/ food.
                  Lialda - 2 pills in the morning w/ food.


saskia
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 3/6/2008 4:04 PM (GMT -6)   
A word on pred., and this is in no way meant as a criticism of your response, Joylu, as you were obviously sympathetic.
 
Yes, all of us can refuse prednisone.  We all need to be aware of the drastic side effects.  We all need to be aware of other medications.  I personally don't think that pred. should be used as a first resort.  That said, other medications don't all work for all persons.  For some, pred is the only thing short of surgery that will stop a bad flare or at least control the symptoms enough to do normal things.  The choice to use pred is a difficult one to make, but some of us make it for very good reasons.  I am currently refusing to take pred, and relying on other meds to manage the disease (touch wood), but I have my pred script filled and ready because I also remember that I made the choice to take it a year ago, and I could be confronted with the choice anytime again.  Last March, I was flaring badly and could not control it with other meds, but I refused to abruptly cut short a long-promised trip with my teenaged daughter and cancel a long-distance visit with my elderly parents.
 
That's what we do, we make these difficult choices.  We need to live our lives as normally as we can and for some of us that means putting up with pred., awful though the experience may be.
 
I join SweetMelody in wishing there were better ways for all us with UC to be able to go to work, go on holiday, spend time with loved ones and so on.
 
 
 
 
*saskia*
pan colitis (diag: Nov 05)
Meds: salofalk7 to 10 tabs/day depending on disease status; imuran 75mg/day; entocort when flaring; cortifoam when flaring; pantoloc; VSL#3; vitamin D and calcium; fosomax


NuffinButtTrouble
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 679
   Posted 3/6/2008 5:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Kara,

This might sound a bit insensitive, but just go and enjoy yourself...forget about other people and just make sure that "you" go and have fun. Life is short...so try to make the most of it before you get to my age...lol

NBT
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis January 2007
Meds: Remicade, Primal Defense Ultra, Multi-vitamins (also iron, B12, Magnesium and Zinc), Flaxseed/Natures Bounty Fish Oil
Swanson Ultra Caprylic Acid (natural anti-fungal) 600mg x2 daily
Carrot & Garlic supplements (natural anti-fungal) x2 daily
Currently taking herbal meds in the search to regain full health.


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 3/6/2008 5:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Sweet,
You are not alone in this (granted I am a crohnie), I saw your post and just had to chime in. I went from 145 lbs to 293 lbs in 9 months. Yep I doubled my weight on pred, I am so special...LOL. Believe me I know how uncomfortable you feel, but please do not let this stop you. Extra weight is no reason to stop living life.
Forum moderator

We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants)
Praise in public, chew in private.
Make sure your suffering has meaning....


dakotagirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 3402
   Posted 3/8/2008 8:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Kara - I was running a few errands at the mall and saw some of the clothes at the maternity store. I was SO tempted (but too short on time) to actually check them out! The jeans looked super cute :) Baby dolls are totally in style right now - maybe every one wants the pg look? Anyway, I remembered that someone posted a while ago on how maternity jeans fit her well while flaring - they allowed for her inflammed guts to be covered without anything being tight. I saw those cute shirts and totally thought of you. I'm still tempted to go back and pull an associate aside and say "i have a disease that makes my guts swell - i heard that maternity jeans fit others with this condition well - can you help me find some to fit me???" I know I'll flare again and need that extra "space in my pants" so maybe then I'll make the time for it???

Good luck! I hope you're feeling better tonight!
Pan-colitis and GERD diagnosed May 2003
 
Asacol 12 per day,  Azathioprine 75mg, Aciphex, Effexor XR, Forvia and a Probiotic
Osteopenia (hip and spine) from prednisone use.  Started Azathioprine because I was steroid dependent.
 
Co-Mod for the UC forum
Keep HealingWell running smoothly:  www.healingwell.com/donate

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