UC spouse, it took almost five years for me to get into full remission. I can tell you that I felt like I had no control over my life and I was a burden to my husband. I at one point decided he was probably sick to death of hearing about
my condition and I didn't want him to see me as just a walking disease, so I stopped telling him how sick I was. When I nearly passed out in the bathroom one day, he was very angry with me. He said "How can I help you if you don't tell me what's going on?" It's just hard, and I'm sure it's exponentially harder for a man because men feel they are the providers and protectors for their families.
I also recommend sitting down, talking about
how you can best help him,
opening communication lines and feelings. I encourage you to keep your own activities. Having a social group outside the home to spend some time with can be a big help. People you don't have to talk about
UC to, so you can just be "normal" for a few hours. In some ways it's harder for you than your husband, because you just have to watch while someone you love suffers. You can really lose yourself in the process, and that won't help anyone.
Judy
Moderate to severe left-sided UC (21 cm) diagnosed 2001.
Asacol, Rowasa, Pentasa, Prednisone, Entocort, Azathioprine
Colazal, Remicade, Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri.
In remission since April, 2006. Remicade has been my wonder drug.
Co-Moderator UC Forum