I hate this disease soooooooo much! My flare (flair?--which one is correct) is getting worse. Before this week, I'd just have to run to the bathroom in the morning, so I'd just get up a couple hours earlier than needed and I'd be fine for the rest of the day. This past week I've had to go to the bathroom multiple times after lunch, too. I've been having horrible cramping and have been so exhausted.
I started work this week. I haven't been this tired since before I was diagnosed and had lost a lot of blood. My back hurts, my legs hurt, and my head hurts. I've had 2 accidents in my underwear (luckily at home) in less than 2 weeks. I already asked to have my hours cut from 5 to 3 per day. But I've gone two days in a row, and I feel overall really crappy. I'm thinking about asking my boss to have me just come in Mon/Wed/Fri, but my parents aren't letting me ask her b/c they're afraid that I'll lose the job. They want me to work so I can "gain experience and forget about the disease." Well, it would be great to gain experience if I was in remission or even if my flare wasn't so bad (or better yet, I didn't have UC at all); and it's really hard to forget about UC when my colon feels like it's going to explode and I'm getting light-headed since I couldn't eat a snack before beginning work (that would cause me to run to the bathroom at least 5 times).
I've cried like 15 times in the last couple of days b/c I'm so tired, I'm feeling horrible overall, my parents are pissing me off, I feel bad for cutting down hours, and I'm afraid something bad will happen to me (like an accident or getting dizzy and walking funny).
I just want to rip my colon out! Sometimes, I think surgery really is the best option for me.
Thanks for listening. Actually, I felt a little better just putting my feelings into words.
Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:47:39 PM (GMT-7)