Hurting husband

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 6/13/2008 1:11 PM (GMT -6)   
My wife reads on here so I hope this falls off before she reads it.  I hate this darn disease.  It is taking her life away and that isn't fair for her.  I just spent the last 30 min. in a back office at work sobbing my stupid tears because I dont' know what to do and I can't afford what she needs.  I feel helpless and insurance/doctors suck.  They are blood suckers and all just suck.  I could care less how smart these people are and all the good they do, but what is the point in having this crap (insurance and doctors) if they kill you financially trying to treat you.  This is my rant for the day and it probably isn't because of the collitus as much as just everything, all stress included. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 499
   Posted 6/13/2008 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
So sorry for your stress. I agree with you that insurance companies are aweful. Just try to hang in there. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Hopefully through it all your relatinship with your wife will be closer than ever. You are a caring husband and she is lucky to have you. Don't ever give up. I'll be praying for you both, Bellski
Lori (Bellski)-age 43 from Illinois
Diagnosed February 2008 with Ulcerative Proctitis,
Currently: symptoms have subsided for the most part
Medications:  Asacol 400mg X 6, Cymbalta 20 mg X 1, Canasa (sometimes) Vitamins:  Calcium 600 + D X 2, One a Day Women's X 1, Citrucel, Probiotics
High fiber diet
"I thank God that  I found this website!"

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 10407
   Posted 6/13/2008 3:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Please don't feel guilty, pretty much none of us could afford our meds without insurance. Sometimes there are programs available to help. What is it she needs?

And don't feel bad about grieving, either. As a wife with UC, I recommend you sit down together and have an honest talk about how you both feel. I know my husband sometimes felt helpless, emasculated and like he just wanted to run away from home when I was so sick. Trying to not let me see it just added to both of our stress. Once we talked it out, we were both able to care for one another better. Yes, she's the sick one, but you need some caring, too.

If you don't want to talk on the board, feel free to e-mail me. Hugs.
Moderate to severe left-sided UC (21 cm) diagnosed 2001.
Avascular necrosis in both shoulders is my "forever" gift from steroid therapy.
Colazal,  Remicade, Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri. In remission since April, 2006.
Co-Moderator UC Forum
Please remember to consult your health care provider when making health-related decisions.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 354
   Posted 6/13/2008 10:05 PM (GMT -6)   
just to let you know I'm thinking about you guys - It is hard moneywise. I feel guity becuase our savings goes to my cat scans and scopes. Is the remicade working out for your wife? There was a post a while back if I recall about drug reinbursment programs for drugs like remicade and humaria.
Jessica 26/F 30mg pred
dicyclomine 10Mg as needed
Citalopram 20 MG
Culturelle once daily
omeprazole(for acid reflex)
Tried (Entorcort EC 9ml/day and Prednisone, Asacol ,colazal)

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 320
   Posted 6/13/2008 11:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Its the same for many of us, I have no savings and am having trouble clearing my debt due to this stupid disease. I spend vast amounts of my income on medications, medical visits and loose a great deal of my income as I no sick leave left for hospital visits.

As a partner, its very hard to watch your significant other suffer. In the end, it broke my partner and we divorced in January this year. He just couldn't take it any more.

I am glad you are such a strong partner and are sticking with your wife, its incredible and I have a great deal of respect for you. Yes, this disease DOES take a great deal of the sufferer's life. But talk to your partner, don't hold back. I wish my partner had talked to me and told me how much he was hurting so I could have supported him as much as he supported me.

It sounds like on some level you want your wife to know how much you care and how powerless you feel. Trust me, she will have some idea and one of the things I wish is that my partner had given me the chance to support him, but he felt he had to be the strong one all the time, and in the end, that destroyed everything. Talk to her, tell her how much you want to help, and how powerless you feel.
"We are dreamers, shapers, singers and makers..." - Elric, Technomage
  • 28yo male. Brisbane, Australia. Diagnosed at 16yo. Currently enjoying severe pan-colitis.
    - Participating in the Golimumab trial as of 1st May, 2008;
    - 2x Colazide, twice a day; 25mg of 6-MP a day; 1xAllopurnol;
    - 1x teaspoon of Metamucil 3 times a day;
    - 1x BIOCeuticals UltraBiotic 45 + 1x SB FlorActiv twice a day.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9196
   Posted 6/14/2008 12:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Many of us with chronic diseases can be near bankruptcy just from copays! There are places that can help with medications she needs. Please try some of these sites and look for others. In addition to the links below try contacting the makers of the medications you need. They often will give you what you need.

Good luck and keep us posted,
Co-Mod Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, collapsed disk, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteo arthritis in spine and other locations.

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Albert Einstein: (1879-1955)

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 128
   Posted 6/14/2008 7:31 AM (GMT -6)   
My goodness it really sucks for you guys. I am in the uk and although it is a struggle having UC at least I don't have the financial worries that you have and whether I am going to be able to afford my meds. I have seen lost of postings like this and I really never realised it was that bad. I have family in the states and I just thought you paid an insurance policy and you were able to get the medical help you required - how wrong was I! My heart goes out to you.

32 year old female
UC diagnosed 2001
Asacol 6 per day
Azathioprine 50mg started 4/08
Steroids 40mg per day

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