Smashed the new car, husband wasn't mad.lol

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bellski
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 499
   Posted 7/2/2008 9:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, have you noticed since you've been diagnosed that your family members "don't want to stress you out?"  lol...............I have a new car, got it at Christmas, I love it, it is black and shiny and it is a grand prix.  I always park far from others, I don't want dents all over like my last car.   So, the other day, on my way to work out at Curves................looked down for a second looked up and smash...I freaked out, I panicked......long story short, no damage to the other lady......she was so nice, just wanted me not to worry.......I called my dad crying saying my husband was going to kill me.  I just had minor paint damage on front bumper. .... I spent three days freaking out, many trips to bathroom with loose stools, worrying, stress........I knew he'd kill me once he found out, after all, if the kids did it, I know he'd freak out, he's awesome, but he tends to get upset about these things.  I'm the opposite.  OK, so today at breakfast I start crying and telling him the long story.......I can't believe it.  He didn't even care, he couldn't believe I was so upset.  He was real nice about it, said it's only a car.  I'm just a spaz I guess.  I feel much better now and he said it will buff right out with wax....lol.   But seriously, my dad, husband, kids, sisters, have been wonderful........all trying to not "stress me out".  Stress is a big trigger for my UC I think.  So, this can be good and bad.  The good- I can really play this thing......lol, just kidding.  The bad, I don't think they will share everything with me to keep me from stressing.  Like my husband, if he has health issues, I don't know.  Do any of you feel this way?  Bellski   P.S.  Sorry so long
Lori (Bellski)-age 43 from Illinois
Diagnosed February 2008 with Ulcerative Proctitis,
Currently: mild symptoms / flare ?
Medications:  Asacol 400mg X 6, Canasa X 2 
Vitamins:  Calcium 600 + D X 2, Centrum, Citrucel caplets, Probiotics
High fiber diet
"I thank God that  I found this website!"
 


quincy
Elite Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 30091
   Posted 7/3/2008 2:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi..good thing it wasn't more serious...

My husband would more than likely be ticked if that happened to me, but firstly relieved that I or whomever else wasn't hurt...

I park away from other cars or on an end spot...but once while I was in shopping at a mall, someone hit the driver side rear bumper causing $2300 damage. No name, no apology, etc...so the inconvenience of the process to report it, getting the estimate, waiting for parts, paying the deductible and driving a crappy car for a few days...plus the lecture to not park on the end of a row was a pain more than stress.

I wouldn't be as stressed about the car as I would be stressed about me not paying attention where I could have possibly prevented an accident.

Try not to be too hard on yourself ...sometimes, it's not about the actual event that has us in an extreme state, it's what just allowed it all to come out.
It sounds as though your husband and family do have your best interests at heart and realise they don't want to add insult to injury.

quincy


*Heather*Status: mini flare Dec 28... tapered to every 4th night
~diagnosed January 1989 UC (proctosigmoiditis)
~5ASA: Asacol (6 daily) + Salofalk enemas (increase for flares tapered to maintenance)
~Bentylol (dicyclomine) 20mg as needed
~vitamins/minerals/supplements 
~Probiotic 3(Natural Factors Protec) bedtime + 1 (Primadophilus Reuteri) occasionally
~multi-digestive enzymes as needed ....zymactive 3 - 5x daily
~Ranitidine,Pariet (reflux) Effexor XR 75mg;  Pulmicort/Airomir (asthma)
~URSO for PSC (or PBC) 500mg X 2 daily (LFTs back to NORMAL!!)
My doc's logic.. "TREAT (FROM)BOTH ENDS"  worth it !!!


Red_34
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 7/3/2008 4:27 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband treats me with kid gloves too and sometimes it irritates the crap out of me! I wished he would confide in me and not be so afraid to "stress" me out with the things that happen to HIM ya know? In fact, when I start getting upset or angry, my hubby is the one that says to calm down or my Uc is gonna get me lol :)
 @--->--SHERRY--<---@
Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC
~Left sided Uc-'92-Colazal(9 daily),6mp(50-100mgs), Hydrocortisone E's, Prilosec,Biotin,Forvia,Pro-Bio**Unable to tolerate Asacol, Rowasa or Canasa**~Allergies-Singulair, Allegra
~Secondary Reynauds Syndrome-'04-Norvasc~Spinal Stenosis~Sacroiliitis-epidural injections~bulging discs C5,C6&C7(?)~waiting for epidural injections
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bellski
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 499
   Posted 7/3/2008 6:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the replies. Even though he wasn't mad, I am still repeatedly having dreams, (nightmares), that I am getting in an accident. All similar situations, some worse. I wish I could lighten up and not stress out. I think the not paying attention and then the quick try to slam on the brake is what shook me up too. I am driving pretty careful now. I hope it lasts. Quincy, I can't believe you practice such care, park on the end, and then that happened and you get lectured not to park on the end. Sometimes we just can't win, lol, Have a great Day, Bellski
Lori (Bellski)-age 43 from Illinois
Diagnosed February 2008 with Ulcerative Proctitis,
Currently: mild symptoms / flare ?
Medications:  Asacol 400mg X 6, Canasa X 2 
Vitamins:  Calcium 600 + D X 2, Centrum, Citrucel caplets, Probiotics
High fiber diet
"I thank God that  I found this website!"
 


quincy
Elite Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 30091
   Posted 7/3/2008 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
The dreams of being in accidents can mean the feeling of not being in control...anxiety and distress can distract us to no end. I think it's better to dream about it rather than be obsessed while driving or doing activities that require paying attention.

Regarding the parking on the end....some people cut corners while driving in parking lots..and the end is still on on a main drive...so I really could have parked beyond where people cut corners. It was a valid observation, and a few steps farther wouldn't have killed me..lol!

Hey, once I parked on the perimeter of a parking lot (where I usually park)...NO ONE AROUND....and when I came out, there was a car parked 6 inches beside the passenger door. I was livid. Maybe the person was making a point, but there was no way he/she would have been able to even get out of the drivers door...must have exited from the passenger side. sigh. sometimes it's a futile effort..lol, but still worth the effort.

I love driving, and when I'm anxious about whatever while driving, I have to consciously say to myself out loud to stop it.

I think I'm going to take a defensive driving course just because. I've realised that there are so many people out there that drive while texting, cell phoning, eating, putting on make-up or just bullying...it's stressful anticipating the crazy behaviour just trying to stay out of their way. I have all my merits on my license, and I would like it to remain so.

Give yourself credit for being on the ball when you were....you probably avoided a possibly worse accident to which I'm sure you both are relieved.

Allow your dreams...they're a good insight to how we actually think. It frees us up for our daily functioning...at least that's how I feel about it (I have the most vivid dreams, but like to realise what they mean).

Happy, safe driving.
quincyxx
*Heather*Status: mini flare Dec 28... tapered to every 4th night
~diagnosed January 1989 UC (proctosigmoiditis)
~5ASA: Asacol (6 daily) + Salofalk enemas (increase for flares tapered to maintenance)
~Bentylol (dicyclomine) 20mg as needed
~vitamins/minerals/supplements 
~Probiotic 3(Natural Factors Protec) bedtime + 1 (Primadophilus Reuteri) occasionally
~multi-digestive enzymes as needed ....zymactive 3 - 5x daily
~Ranitidine,Pariet (reflux) Effexor XR 75mg;  Pulmicort/Airomir (asthma)
~URSO for PSC (or PBC) 500mg X 2 daily (LFTs back to NORMAL!!)
My doc's logic.. "TREAT (FROM)BOTH ENDS"  worth it !!!


NMcP
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 212
   Posted 7/3/2008 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Sounds like it's time to walk up to the hubby and plant a big old wet smooch on his forehead. Then of course you have to walk away so he wonders what the heck that was for! (Which of course you reply thanks for being so cool about the car!).

I'm the one more likely to throw a shoe if a car accident happened. My husband would just shrug it off...sorta makes me wonder if that is one of the reasons I have UC and he doesn't. We eat the same junk, etc.

Sounds like you have a keeper. He knew just the right things to say. Your family all loves you and they are about you. They probably know you a lot better than you think they do. I know this is easier said than done, but don't worry about what they will and won't tell you. If something is really, truly important, they will let you know.

Don't forget the smooch : )
Age: 48
location: Seattle, Wa
Diagnosed with UC in June 2006
Medications: Asacol 2 pills 3 x/day, Canasa supps
Supplements: vitamins, probiotics
No. of colonoscopies: 1
Originally diagnosed with moderate UC, pancolitis

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