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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 213
   Posted 7/21/2008 5:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Hopefully no one is insulted that I posted a joke on the board. We all could use something to smile about here and there, especially something we can sorta relate to! tongue
I went into my proctologist' s office for my first rectal exam.
>> His new nurse, Evelyn,took me to an examining room
>> And told me to get undressed and have a seat
>> Until the doctor could see me .
>> She said that he would only be a few minutes.
>> After putting on the gown that she gave me
>> I sat down
>> While waiting I observed
>> That there were three items on a stand
>> Next to the exam table:
>> A Tube of K-Y jelly,
>> A rubber glove
>> And a beer ...
>> When the doctor finally came in I said,
>> 'Look Doc, I'm a little confused
>> This is my first exam .
>> I know what the K-Y is for
>> And I know what the glove is for,
>> But can you tell me what the BEER is for?
>> >>
>> At that, the Doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the
>> door
>> He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse .. . . . .
>> darn it Evelyn !!!
>> I said a BUTT LIGHT'

34 year old female, Diagnosed Ulcerative Colitis 5 years ago
Current Meds: Remicade every 6 weeks, Prednisone 10mg (tapering), Prevacid, Sustenex, Lialda, Lexapro (anxiety), Synthroid, Iron, vitamins, Fish Oil
Expecting first child 12/08 via gestational surrogate!!!!

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 7/21/2008 5:58 AM (GMT -6)   
:0) Cute lol
Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC
~Left sided Uc-'92-Colazal(9 daily),6mp(50-100mgs), Hydrocortisone E's, Prilosec,Biotin,Forvia,Pro-Bio**Unable to tolerate Asacol, Rowasa or Canasa**~Year-round allergies-Singulair, Allegra
~Secondary Reynauds Syndrome-'04-Norvasc~Spinal Stenosis~Sacroiliitis-epidural injections~bulging and herniated discs C5,C6&C7~2nd epidural injection 8/14
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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 499
   Posted 7/21/2008 7:07 AM (GMT -6)   
lol, good one.
Lori (Bellski)-age 43 from Illinois
Diagnosed February 2008 with Ulcerative Proctitis,
Currently: mild symptoms / flare ?
Medications:  Asacol 400mg X 6, Canasa X 2 
Vitamins:  Calcium 600 + D X 2, Centrum, Citrucel caplets, Probiotics
High fiber diet
"I thank God that  I found this website!"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 3402
   Posted 7/21/2008 8:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the chuckle! I love it!
Pan-colitis and GERD diagnosed May 2003
Osteopenia (hip and spine) diagnosed Feb 2006
Status:  Remission?!?!?
Asacol 12 per day,  Azathioprine 100mg, Aciphex, Forvia, and Pro-Bio
Remicade: 1st infusion 06/17/08:  Next (3rd) infusion 08/12/08
Last Prednisone dose:  7/15/08
Co-Moderator UC forum:  Keep HealingWell running smoothly:

Elite Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 30402
   Posted 7/21/2008 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   
*Heather*Status: mini flare Dec 28... tapered to every 4th night
~diagnosed January 1989 UC (proctosigmoiditis)
~5ASA: Asacol (6 daily) + Salofalk enemas (increase for flares tapered to maintenance)
~Bentylol (dicyclomine) 20mg as needed
~Probiotic 3(Natural Factors Protec) bedtime + 1 (Primadophilus Reuteri) occasionally
~multi-digestive enzymes as needed ....zymactive 3 - 5x daily
~Ranitidine,Pariet (reflux) Effexor XR 75mg;  Pulmicort/Airomir (asthma)
~URSO for PSC (or PBC) 500mg X 2 daily (LFTs back to NORMAL!!)
My doc's logic.. "TREAT (FROM)BOTH ENDS"  worth it !!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 679
   Posted 7/21/2008 9:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Great stuff...haha!!

Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis January 2007
Meds: Remicade, Primal Defense Ultra, Multi-vitamins (also iron, B12, Magnesium and Zinc), Flaxseed/Natures Bounty Fish Oil
Swanson Ultra Caprylic Acid (natural anti-fungal) 600mg x2 daily
Carrot & Garlic supplements (natural anti-fungal) x2 daily
Currently taking herbal meds in the search to regain full health.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 7/21/2008 10:41 AM (GMT -6)   
HAHA That's great, thanks for sharing :)

Female, 23, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in femur head & lumbar region of the spine from long term prednisone use. 

Currently unmedicated and flaring :(
Waiting for my appointment with the new GI on July 18th. Insurance finally kicked in, hooray!


potty girl
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 835
   Posted 7/21/2008 5:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Thats funny

synthroid .088 mg, lowpressor 50 mg x 2, cozaar 25mg x2, imdur 30 mg
nitroquick, proventol, plavix 75 mg, protonix 40 mg x 2, asacal 400mg x 9
carafate 1 gm x 4, zyrtec 10 mg, rhinocort aqua nose spray, fish oil,

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