Just another vent here

I don't know if any of you have noticed my absence - hopefully someone did - c'mon make me feel wanted    Anyway, I am in the process of getting gma ready to be place in an assisted living center.  For anyone that don't know who gma is, I've talked about her alot on here, she is my grandmother who moved in with me about 4 years ago.  She has Alzheimers and has been getting progressively worse.  That is why I had to make the heavy decision to place her in a home.  So I've been getting her packed and ready; she is supposed to get in there sometime this week.  A lot of stress??? Oh yeah.  And we are also residing our house.  We have people coming and going left right and center.  While I'm tickled pink that finally after 9 years that this is happening, it is taking a toll on my health.  I feel like a lump because I can't help.  The guys are doing it all as well as one of my gal pals.  I try to help but end up hurting (because of the discs in my neck) so then I have to stop.  Frustrating?? You bet.  My daughter is also giving me grief - I won't go into details but lets just say she is only 12 wanting to do things what 16 year olds do - not good stuff.  More stress?? Uh huh..........so guess what?? Surprise! I'm flaring again.    I have been off steroid enemas now for 2 weeks and I so don't want to go back on them!  I am tired of this crap - yes pun intended.  I am now having that burning yellow/green bile type D.  It doesn't hurt when I go yet but I know that is coming.  I am beginning to get cramps and liquid goo in the gut feeling.  My hip joints are starting to hurt again - my other clue a flare is here.  I am just so tired of dealing with it all that I just want to hide in a corner and stay there for a month.  Ok vent over.....

Oh no Sherry! I am so sorry you are feeling bad. I was just thinking about you and gma this morning. Please keep us posted on her move to the nursing home and how you are feeling!

Can't help with a thing but can offer you online *hugz* hope you can find a small peace in knowing that you are doing what's best for gma with placing her in an assisted living environment. I worked one for many years and know that they will keep a very good eye on her. The staff are understanding and know it's not easy for you just as it's not easy for her so let them help you and she adjust to it all. It will all work out.

Aaagh, Sherry, I'm so sorry. I know what a difficult decision this has been, and I'm so sorry you got a flare to go along with it. With all you've got going on, don't forget to take a little time to take care of Sherry. Hope you're soon feeling better. ((((Hugs))))

Thanks for the nice words - much needed today.

I don't think it's so much a control issue but the fact that I can't is what's killing me. I used to be quite active and this past year I have been hardly able to do anything because of my back and neck. So I guess I am going thru the grieving process all over again. But instead of the Uc it's the chronic pain issues that I am dealing with now. I gave up the control issue a long time ago and have since delegated responsibilities to others. My hubby does what he can but during the day, he works (someone has to make the money) so it is up to me to care for gma. That is one reason why I decided to send her to the center. I have to think of myself as well as her wellbeing. So I know this is the right call - it's just rough but I'm sure I will endure :) I also need, like you said, to reconnect with my daughter. She needs me, especially now that she is in a tough transition period. And I just can't do that if I am preoccupied with gma. I'm hoping by the end of the year, things will have settled down as best as they can.

As for my flare, I have a call into my GI. He's at another office today so I may not hear back from him today. I am going to start back on the steroid E's to nip this one quickly.