I'm not sure there is a definite answer for what is considered under control. If you were used to 20 restroom trips a day, and you were able to get it down to 5 or 6, you'd consider it progress, and maybe even say things were under control. It is good that you are trying to control things with diet and such, but it might be good for you, and a good example for your daughter, to follow up on some medical advice. Following a doctor's advice isn't a guarantee of feeling better either though. The doc might even have some good non-medication focussed stress relieving tips for you!
I once knew a woman who had colitis, but she ate what she wanted, drank like a fish, and in general didn't let it slow her down much...except for the few days every month where she spent her day sleeping, or the fairly regular accidents she had. She was not interested in following medical advice, and to her, things were under control. In my mind, she needed some serious medical assistance, but it is not my position to judge others. I did find it amusing that she felt bad for me because of all the meds I was taking for my colitis, but at the time, I was in remission, so I wasn't feeling all that bad. I'd rather take some pills and reduce suffering than avoid pills and be miserable.
It is all a matter of perspective. I hope things stay under control for you, or that you'll get to a point where you decide medical help isn't all that bad and you'll follow through with some doctor's advice. Life can be more livable, and the big D doesn't have to be a several-times-a-day experience. And most importantly, stress can be mitigated, and that will definitely help with your bm frequency.
36 y.o. male
Diagnosed w/ moderate UC in May '06 - currently flaring
Asacol, Florastor, VSL#3, Wellbutrin XL, Prozac, multi-vitamin, Allegra, Lialda, Prednisone 30mg