Tough questions! I'm eager to hear everyone's advice.
My gluten/food issues have made it newly awkward when friends try to make sure I have something to eat. Most recently at tailgates, for example. I can't convince them that I don't want them to go to any trouble, and it's hard because people caught unaware do feel bad. If I only have potato chips to nibble on, that's fine, I won't starve. Funny thing happens, if I ask someone what's in their dish, they go through the whole preparation process thinking I want the recipe! (Probably not, I hate to cook). Anyway, my vegetarian colleague and I commiserate, I've seen him pile a plate with mashed potatoes only, even when he is the guest of honor!
Regarding bathroom privacy, you might ask your host if you can use a more private bathroom, then only one person has to know you're having distress. Otherwise, extra flushing, running water, everyone has tried and heard it all! I might also take half an immodium before a dinner party, then eat very, very little.
49 year old female attorney, diagnosed UC/pancolitis 1985, no surgery but much suffering.
Asacol/5ASA maintenance for 20+ years, usually 3 pills 2x day. Use prednisone & Rowasa for flares.
August 2008 sought care of naturopathic doctor. Tested gluten intolerant and started gluten-free diet, also none of the other foods tested sensitive to (cow's milk, soy, tomato, egg white, others)
Achieved remission for the first time in many, many years!
Replete probiotic. Slow-release iron and B-12 shots for anemia.