Problems with 15 yr old girl at school

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone,
I'm the mother of a 12 year old girl with UC. Shetells me that her teacher makes students put their hands up in class to ask to go to bathroom, and because she has to do this all the time, she feels embarrased. Other kids are calling her names, and the other week some boys snuck into the girls washroom and threw toilet paper into the stall at her. I called the teacher and principal, and they both informed me that she has to notify the teacher when using the bathroom, but that she could do so privately. But my daughter says she still has to put her hand up most of the time because the teacher is teaching most of the time. Does anyone know what else can be done. She's already missed three weeks of school this past April during a really bad episode and Im afraid I'm going to have to pull her out of this school because the staff won't accomodate her needs.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:30 PM (GMT -6)   
My daughter had a rare autoimmune disease when she was 10years old and I did a section 504 which required the staff to write a plan for her. I was involved in the planning. We put that she could go to nurses office whenever she wanted, use the elevator, excused from homework if feeling to ill(or time to make it up). I had a problem with a teacher who didnt want her to use the elevator. She was to weak to use the steps. My daughter looked perfectly healthy so I guess they thought she was faking it. Other than her using the elevator she never used the other things on the plan. It would protect and accomodate your daughter. I also educated everyone in the meeting(teacher principal nurse counselor) on her disease.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 2103
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Doesn't sound like her school is very accommodating...I went through this crap in high school. My parents and I finally decided that we would talk to the nurse and have her email my teachers and explain my condition. I tried the whole notifying the teacher, filling out a pass thing but it just took too long when I was about to mess myself. So finally I got up the courage to just leave class when I needed to go and if they had a problem with it they could go take it up with the nurse.
If the school isn't accommodating her needs you could probably find a way to get them in trouble. Its really not her fault and kids are so darn mean at that age. I would demand that they work out a system with you so that your daughter can use the bathroom and not worry about follow the rules when the rules don't apply here.

Good luck!! :) I feel her pain! I was 15 when I started having problems so I know how she feels and I know how my mother felt at the time!
Sam 19 year old college student
Diagnosed March 2005
Remission since January/April 2006 (incident with mono)
3200mg Asacol, 25mg Amitriptlyine, Ortho Tri-cyclen lo, 600mg calcium with vitamin D
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"
Maya Angelou

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 10/1/2008 12:58 AM (GMT -6)   


I am a teacher with UC and want to tell you to listen to the other post about the 504 plan making the accomodation for her to leave the room if necessary.  This plan will work... is legally binding and should help to quell some of your daughters nervousness about her need to use the bathroom.    She should have a key for the bathroom if necessary (if the doors are locked).  It is tough enough being a middle schooler without having to deal with this.

Good luck

DX with (pan colitis) UC 9/02 while pregnant
Rowasa (when needed)
Boniva Calcium multivitamin
Iron (when issues appear)
Mild bronchial asthma too
Predinose 300 mg (flaring now)
6MP 50mg started beginning of July 08

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 10/1/2008 6:31 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree. It is a disability and she is entitled to an accommodation plan. Most simply it could say that she can leave class without asking to use the restroom.
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/1/2008 6:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Ugh. I remember this all too well cry I was 14 when I was diagnosed and it was definitely rough. Luckily the prednisone got it mostly under control for awhile, but teachers were terrible. They would say "You should've gone on your break, now you can't go" and if there was a test going on, we were literally not allowed to leave for any reason because they figured we'd be cheating. I wish I had answers, but I never took any real action or told anyone my feelings and it thoroughly ruined high school for me. I just started skipping school all the time, and I managed to pass everything but got in a lot of trouble. The times I remember most were sitting in class with my head down, digging my nails into my arms and trying my hardest to take deep breaths and hold it in because I couldn't leave the room.

It's a good thing your daughter is telling you these things and you're trying to help her, you're a great mom. I would try the 504 thing and stress to her the fact that these kids don't matter. Once she graduates high school she'll probably never see any of them again, and if she doesn't feed into their immature crap then they'll get bored and move onto someone else. I wish someone had told me that because I though high school was the end of the world and my life was ruined. Now I barely remember high school and life is so much better.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 387
   Posted 10/1/2008 7:20 AM (GMT -6)   

I also would like to urge to call for a meeting at your school to discuss a 504.  Beforehand, it would be helpful or even necessary to have your child's doctor write a letter stating your daughter's illness and that she needs accomodations for school.  Most docs get asked to write these all the time.   All her teachers should attend the meeting.   They are so much more likely to be cooperative when you are at the school staring them in the face.  Your daughter might even be able to attend if that seemed appropriate.

You may have to be forceful,  but I think since what you are requesting is not going to to cost the school anything, but a slight bending of rules you should get what you want.  Don't shy away for asking for things such as extra time for changing classes and extra time on tests if she has to use the restroom during that time. 

I just had my 504 meeting at my son's middle school last week and I got some good info from

Good luck!!

UC diagnosed 10/05, first symptoms 1983
asacol 12/daily and rowasa as needed 
Trying out Digestive Fitness Probiotic
past rx: colozal, lialda, canasa

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 552
   Posted 10/1/2008 8:13 AM (GMT -6)   

Definitely request a 504 plan. You can (and should) make sure many accommodations are in place, even if your daughter may never use them.
My daughter's 504 plan includes unlimited bathroom breaks, food and drink at anytime, 50% extra time for test taking, extended time to complete homework and projects. We had these put into place because, as you know, UC has a mind of its own. Some days she would need to be in the bathroom many, many times. Some days not. Sometimes, she needed to eat and drink more. The extended time for completing work was put in place because she missed many weeks of school (9 weeks in Fall 2006, 9 weeks in Fall 2007, 7 weeks in Spring 2008) and we were concerned about the pressure of trying to catch up in all her classes. The extra time for test taking just relieves the pressure of possibly having to use the bathroom during a timed test and not having the full amount of time to actually take the test.
You can also request accommodations for ACTs and SATs. Depending on where the tests are held, my daughter will use them. She actually prefers to take her tests in less crowded rooms. Her 504 plan comes due in November (they review and renew it each year). Because she just had surgery (and will have her step 2 in November) we may need to make some changes. But I will still make sure she has a 504 plan in place.

A 504 plan is a great safeguard for the child. I think it also makes the school and district much more accountable. Be on top of the school. You are your child's best advocate.

--Mom of bratcat (17 years old) and nonamejames (19 years old)--
Daughter bratcat was diagnosed with pancolitis October 2006
Flared Fall 2006, Fall 2007, Spring 2008
Asacol, Rowasa, hydrocortisone enemas, prednisone, 6-mp, Remicade
7/3/08-Step 1 j-pouch surgery and no more meds
Step 2 scheduled for November 10
Son nonamejames was diagnosed with Crohns in Spring 2008
Asacol, Pentasa, 6-mp

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 10/1/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -6)   
I would definitely do the 504 plan. Until then, you may want to email the nurse and have her to talk the teacher, or talk to the teacher yourself and explain the disease.
I'm sorry your daughter has to deal with this. I was lucky enough to be diagnosed w/ UC after I finished high school, but I was still teased for other reasons. As ediekristen said, tell her not to stress out about those kids. I barely see anyone from middle or high school now, and it's so much better and I was able to grow as a person b/c of these negative things.
Female, Age 19
9 Asacol, Rowasa1000 mg Canasa, Proctofoam, Rifaximin 2/day
Digestive Advantage (Crohn's & Colitis), 1 Florastor, 50 mg 6MP,1 Primadophilus reuteri, Remicade (4 infusions), 2.4 g Lialda, 1 Forvia, 6 Colazal/day, 2 Anucort

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/1/2008 11:49 AM (GMT -6)   
My daughter is 7, so my heart goes out to you and your daughter. Thank you for the post the information may be helpful in the future for mine. BTW, she is 7 and if she needs to leave the room she just gets up.

Daughter 7, UC
Asacol 2X2 plus 1x daily
Omega 3
Folic Acid 1000mcg.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2148
   Posted 10/1/2008 12:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry she is dealing with all of that, it has got to be so difficult for her. The advice here is all really good and I can add nothing to how to deal with the schools.

The only thing that I can and would like to add is that it may be good for her to meet some other people her own age with UC or as close to her age as possible and/or some people who have had UC a while. I think it would help her feel not alone and better about sticking up for herself and dealing with this disease. Maybe your Dr. can recommend support groups or maybe help put you in touch with another family.

I wish her all the best and I know how mean kids can be. I got my period on the back of my pants in 7th grade and the whole school knew and some kids were very mean.
Beth, 33 ~ hoping to taper pred successfully, wish me luck!
Major Flare Sept/Oct 07
UC dx'd 03/00 (Proctosigmoiditis); Pancolitis since 09/07
Azathioprine 200mg 1xday nightly; Calcium and Vit D 500mg 3xday, Multi Vit, Folic Acid 400mg 2xday, Prilosec, Probiotics.
Minimal Change Disease (Kidney Disorder) dx'd 09/07. Close to remission since 9/08.
Prednisone 5mg/2.5mg alt days 1xday, Simvastatin 20mg 1xday, Diovan 160mg 2xday. Tekturna 300mg 1xday, Fosomax 70mg 1xweek. MCD may be from hypersensitivty to 5ASA drugs.  Do you have edema? If so, check your blood protien level!

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 365
   Posted 10/1/2008 12:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I would work something out with the teacher so that when she gets up and leaves by default she is going to the restroom. Maybe even get a seat near the door...

Also check into a private restroom...My old HS had a restroom in the office that could be locked... If it isnt too far for to make it in an emergency, I would ask them about special accommodations.

I used to be embarrassed about restroom breaks....I had this all through college and went frequently....sometimes I would just grab my books and not return to class... With time the embarrassment goes away. Now I dont think twice about it.
33 yr old male. UC for 14 years. 5mg pred (tapering off), 12 pills Asacol per day, Dicyclomine (for cramps), 0.5 - 1mg Atavan per day (anxiety) when needed, Fish oil pills, Culturelle probiotics. Recent Endonasal brain surgery to remove non-cancerous hormone producing tumor on pituitary gland (And I am still more afraid of my UC!!)  "I poop in the woods because I can"

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 10/1/2008 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
As a high school teacher, I echo the 504 idea.  I would suggest that you get a 504 plan written for your child that includes bathroom privileges and then tell her to leave when she needs to.  If the teacher tries and stops her he/she is then violating the plan.  You might also be able to get written into the plan that your child can go to the nurse's office to use the bathroom (for some added privacy).  I don't know if your child has just one teacher or many teachers but if she is changing classes all teachers should be notified personally, because even though many students have modification plans of some sort, some students will be uncomfortable about using them and with teachers having sometimes over 100 students, he/she can forget that a student has a mod plan and parental contact can help reinforce that, especially if your child is uncomfortable advocating for herself.
The nurse is also someone who should be involved in the process.  Even if you don't want to go the route of a modification plan, the nurses (at least in our school district and I'm assuming in most districts) circulates a confidential list of students' medical conditions to the teachers which include allergies, cancers, and other conditions (like UC/crohn's) and special privileges like bathroom privileges.  I know I keep my list with my students highlighted in my desk for reference and it's a lot easier to refer to than a 504 plan.
My bigger concern is the fact that boys are getting access to the girls' bathrooms.  I would be reading the riot act to the school about that.  Those bathrooms should be monitored.  That alone is basis for a sexual harassment claim, whether against the school or against the individual boys if you know who they are.
One benefit of this is that it's a chance for you to teach your daughter to advocate for herself in reference to her rights as a student.   It's something that we at the high school level reinforce to all of our students with modified needs, be they educational or medical, and will serve her well throughout the rest of her life.
Best of luck!!!
dx UC Dec. 2001
currently in remission
Meds: asacol 6(400mg)/day
         entocort 3(3mg)/day
         canasa 1(1000mg)/day
         Culturelle 1/day

New Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/1/2008 9:33 PM (GMT -6)   
The crohns and colitis website has a sample 504 plan. I had to request a 504 plan for my son. The school won't voluntarily do this. You need to request a meeting with school officials. Have a letter from your doctor and a sample copy of the 504 plan from the website. Then you can request specific accomodations for you daughter.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 10/1/2008 9:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I also have advice from personal experience. I was in high school before these plans were popular and before I was diagnosed but I was already very sick. I had one teacher who wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. I just got up and walked out. I told him after class that if he wanted to write me up he could argue with the office why he was going to make me poop my pants. Another time I had to vomit and he said I couldn't leave so I just walked out again. Nothing bad every happened to me. I spoke to the office staff and the principal and they said they would talk to him but in the mean time to walk out if needed. Now I was a very confident not shy person so I didnt care that the class saw him say no and then saw me leave. Most kids aren't that defiant and willing to do that in front of an audience. I am so outspoken that he is lucky I didn't drop trou and poop on his desk while giving my classmates a thumbs up. Actually, the day that I left to vomit when I came back to get my books and told him (while interupting class) that I was being sent home for yaking even though he wouldn't let me out of the classroom he made some comment implying I had lied to the nurse about throwing up. I offered to let him smell my breath. He declined. Obviously my experience is a little extreme and not the best way to go but in the big scheme of things school teachers do not have THAT much power. She wont get arrested or denied access to college for walking out of class against a teacher's wishes.

Now regarding the teasing. In the title you say your child is 15 but in the post it says 12. 7th grade was my worst year socially. Kids were truly brutal. I hated every minute of it. But I loved high school and found my nitch of wonderful friends. So if she is 12 remind her that everyone hates that age and that life will get better. If she is 15, remind her that in 2-3 years she will have a fresh start in college!
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.

Deacon Blues
Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 303
   Posted 10/1/2008 9:57 PM (GMT -6)   
My heart goes out to your daughter as well. So difficult being a kid in school, let alone with a situation like this. I would echo the sound advice that has been posted already and I would emphasize being diplomatic, calm and under control and DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. These people need to accomodate her. I get tired of rigid, insensitive educators that are lacking in education themselves! Sadly enough it seems to happen at the elementary/ middle school level IMO...Although some of them have their hands tied by forgive me for making it sound like a blanket statement. We all have seen these teachers that are clueless when it comes to compassion and common decency! Just in it for the "job." Happens in every vocation though sadly enough. I would go straight to the top with my case, School board, superintendant, principle...if that doesn't work I would write my local papers as fast as possible and expose the senselessness of the school system. Hope all goes well for you daughter, she has a caring Mom so hang in there & God bless.
Diagnosed with UC in 1999
PANCOLITIS-mild to moderate
3-400mg Asacol 3x per day
44 yrs old

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1202
   Posted 10/2/2008 7:29 AM (GMT -6)   
I feel your pain. My 15 year old is suffering too. I do have a 504, and really didn't even need it. She has a hall pass for when ever, and the teachers have been great. There may come a time that the missed school will also require a tutor. Having the 504 makes that easier to get. If you are in a private school the rules might be different, but the law says a "free and appropriate education" is your right. Don't be afraid to speak up. The SPED moms in our district are very loud, and their kids get lots of accommodations--letting a child leave the room is the least of the administrators worries.
Now, work on getting boys out of the bathrooms. Get loud on that one.
Good luck
Daughter,14 diagnosed 1-08 w/ UC .learning from you all.
Asacol, Prednizone 50mg, major flare, now off!, Hosp. @U of C, Comers twice this yr. Low residue diet still
began 6MP, ,horrible acne, and fearful of future.
trying probiotics, Omega 3, and keeping up with doc visits.

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