Major life changing event/Vent

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basa0806
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 2103
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:30 PM (GMT -6)   
I am in a sophomore at a 4 year university working towards a bio degree (cytotechnology...I do 3 years of classes and a year of clinical training at a hospital) and my class haven't been going well this semester. Last year I was on academic probation because of a class and that was extremely stressful for me. I worked really hard though and I was able to get off of it for this fall semester. I go to school in a VERY small town and it is 2 hours and 15 mins away from my hometown and my family and my boyfriend of 3 years. My freshman year I was having a really hard time being homesick and I hated being here for school. I figured it was just a freshman thing and that this year would be better. Well I'm in my sophomore year and my classes are completely kicking my butt and tonight I had a major breakdown on the phone with my mom. I'm at the time of the month that I am extremely emotional and after all the crying and whining I discovered that my anxiety levels are WAY too high and its causing me to do poorly in my classes (with maybe some testing anxiety included), plus I finally realized that I'm really not happy here and I just don't belong at this school.

After all of this I was looking for schools that were closer to home because the whole point is is that I'm homesick and in way too small of a town. I found a school that's an hour away from home and offers a bio degree very similar to the one I'm pursuing now. So now I have a tour set up next week for this school and I'm nervous for it. I don't want to decide to transfer and then have it be a very big mistake. There are so many pros and cons to each school. One con being that my school now gives each student a laptop computer and the cost is part of the tuition so I would have to buy a new comp (which I don't have the money for). Also I would have to transfer all of my credits, find parking, find a dorm, sign up for classes etc. But there are so many pros too. My boyfriend goes there, I'm closer to home, I'm closer to my GI!, the clinical schools associated with my major are offered in my hometown so I could live at home etc.

Now I'm just waiting for this tour and hoping to god that something clicks in my brain and I find I'm more suited for this new school. In the meantime I'm talking to someone on campus now about how this will affect my academic career and I'll also be talking to my primary doctor about anxiety meds which will hopefully ease things a bit.

Sorry this is sooo long but I needed to spew a bit. I have NO idea how I'm not sick with all of this...no IBS issues...no UC issues...yet
Sam 19 year old college student
Diagnosed March 2005
Remission since January/April 2006 (incident with mono)
3200mg Asacol, 25mg Amitriptlyine, Ortho Tri-cyclen lo, 600mg calcium with vitamin D
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"
Maya Angelou


quincy
Elite Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 30614
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sam...nothing is guaranteed. You have to figure out what your priorities are at this point in time of your life. If security to you means being an hour away from home, friends and family..then that may just be what you need to lower the anxiety that is is causing you.

Someone as young as you are and taking on as much as you are will really get through anything you make your mind to....but that doesn't mean to sacrifice what you need in order to help you through your journeys.

I personally wouldn't have a struggle...I'd be where my friends and family and support system is.....especially if the school offers what I need to graduate to get to a profession I'm desiring.

The "best" is only such on a subjective level. It doesn't make you any less of what you want to become. If your emotional spirit is empty during the journey...that's too much of a price to pay.

I'm happy you made the decision to check out the other university. You're a planner and a doer.....there will be nothing stopping you!  It won't hurt to try the new university for this year....if it sets you back if this doesn't work out...you might need to catch up next year....there are always options.
 
You can only try to see if it will work for you....hopefully, you'll find the answer that suits you.

quincy


*Heather* Status..Asacol 6 (3 twice daily); enemas every 4th night
~diagnosed January 1989 UC (proctosigmoiditis)
~Bentylol (dicyclomine) 20mg as needed
~vitamins/minerals/supplements 
~Probiotic 4(Natural Factors Protec) bedtime + Primadophilus Reuteri Pearls occasionally
~multi-digestive enzymes as needed
~Ranitidine,Pariet (reflux);  Effexor XR 75mg(depression);  Pulmicort/Airomir (asthma)
~URSO for PSC (or PBC) 500mg X 2 daily (LFTs back to NORMAL!!)
My doc's logic.. "TREAT (FROM)BOTH ENDS"  worth it !!!
 

Post Edited (quincy) : 9/30/2008 10:51:28 PM (GMT-6)


basa0806
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 2103
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:51 PM (GMT -6)   
I think I'm just so ready for something to go right for me. My high school experience didn't go smoothly the UC and mono etc. These are supposed to be the best years of my life and I want to know what its like to be happy and content with what I'm doing and where I am. I'm so much of a what if person. What if I change schools, what if I stay here. I can't handle making decisions not knowing the outcome, but I guess that's life.
Sam 19 year old college student
Diagnosed March 2005
Remission since January/April 2006 (incident with mono)
3200mg Asacol, 25mg Amitriptlyine, Ortho Tri-cyclen lo, 600mg calcium with vitamin D
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"
Maya Angelou


quincy
Elite Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 30614
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:59 PM (GMT -6)   
We never knou the outcomes....we can do things towards the outcome we would like, but we never can be guaranteed everything will be perfect.

darn that anxiety....

Trust yourself! Allow options for if plan A doesn't work, have another adjusted Plan B available.

As Forrest Gump's mom said..."Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get".
My brother used to poke holes in them and leave the ones he didn't like. That's how he runs his life. I tended to pick the ones I KNEW I liked or would consult the drawings. Some would pick just any one and eat it whether they liked it nor not. Some would close their eyes and pick.

I think you already know what you want....you've already tried the university you're at....maybe the one closer to home will be right.
 
What does your mom say about it?  Your boyfriend?

I'm still wondering what happy and content means....each day should contain a bit of it...but always looking toward the tomorrow.

Hang tough....make the decision after you see the other school.

quincy


*Heather* Status..Asacol 6 (3 twice daily); enemas every 4th night
~diagnosed January 1989 UC (proctosigmoiditis)
~Bentylol (dicyclomine) 20mg as needed
~vitamins/minerals/supplements 
~Probiotic 4(Natural Factors Protec) bedtime + Primadophilus Reuteri Pearls occasionally
~multi-digestive enzymes as needed
~Ranitidine,Pariet (reflux);  Effexor XR 75mg(depression);  Pulmicort/Airomir (asthma)
~URSO for PSC (or PBC) 500mg X 2 daily (LFTs back to NORMAL!!)
My doc's logic.. "TREAT (FROM)BOTH ENDS"  worth it !!!
 


ucwarrior
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 298
   Posted 9/30/2008 11:19 PM (GMT -6)   
I graduated with a bio degree also so I kinda know what you're going thru academically. I was diagnosed with UC my freshman year and wondered how it would impact my life. I wondered how I would get thru a 4 hour physiology lab practical when I couldn't stop going to the bathroom. I wondered how I was going to pay for all these GI visits when I sold everything I had just to go to school.

The more I stressed the worse my UC got and began controlling my career plans as well as my immediate lifestyle. I began to plan things out with solutions in mind rather than fret about the problems. It sounds as if you are doing the same.

Have you considered applying for financial aid to help with some of the expenses? FA was a lifesaver for me and allowed for me to quit working and buckle down more on classes which in turn helped my GPA. 30+ hrs work a week plus 15-17 credit hrs/week was keeping me out of remission.

Also, make sure your credits transfer over. Some schools are weird and finicky.

I wish the best for you and I hope you are able to find the right path through a forest of indecision. Do what you feel is right and go for it.

jujub
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 10407
   Posted 10/1/2008 7:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Sam, if you are that unhappy where you are, I think a change is the right choice. I know that was a hard decision to come to - none of us likes to feel we're letting the disease "win" or that we're giving up. But you really aren't giving up, you're looking to continue with your course in life on a different road. College is stressful, the science classes are very stressful, and it sounds to me as if you're making a well thought-out, mature decision. Remember, you also have an option to take fewer hours. Even though that would keep you in school longer, it might help you make your grades without so much stress.

And as a "mature" woman, let me share a secret with you: IMO, this is not the best time of your life. I've found that life just keeps getting better for me. Even though I have some health issues I didn't have when I was younger, I'm enjoying my life now more than ever. College was better than high school; young adulthood was better than college; 30's were even better. So don't think you have to get all of your joy now; there's plenty to come later.
Judy
 
Moderate to severe left-sided UC (21 cm) diagnosed 2001.
Avascular necrosis in both shoulders is my "forever" gift from Entocort.
Colazal,  Remicade, Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri. In remission since April, 2006.
 
Co-Moderator UC Forum
Please remember to consult your health care provider when making health-related decisions.


basa0806
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 2103
   Posted 10/1/2008 7:49 AM (GMT -6)   
I have the kind of parents who would support me in anything I wanted. I'm very close to my mom so I know she'll help with make this change. My boyfriend will be going to the same school but I don't ever want him or anyone to think that's why I'd do the transfer.
I do have FA and I'm lucky enough to have loans cover my education completely, plus this new school would be cheaper (like 5,000 cheaper...)
I'm pretty sure the credits will transfer. I go to school in MN and the colleges in MN are part of one organization so most credits transfer between each institution.
I hate that the plan I set out when I was a senior in high school is now turned upside down. I don't like heading into something completely new when I've only know this school. But its maybe what I need to do...
Sam 19 year old college student
Diagnosed March 2005
Remission since January/April 2006 (incident with mono)
3200mg Asacol, 25mg Amitriptlyine, Ortho Tri-cyclen lo, 600mg calcium with vitamin D
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"
Maya Angelou


Bennie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 552
   Posted 10/1/2008 8:24 AM (GMT -6)   

Sam, I went away to school my freshman year. There were many things I loved about the school but I was so homesick for my friends and family that I wanted to transfer home. I did and I completed the last 3 years at a school near my home. I am glad I did. I did lose out in some ways in that I lived at home and didn't get as involved in school as I had done the first year. But I was much more relaxed. In my case it cost more to come home because I transferred out of a state school and into a private school. But that didn't matter.

Go on the tour and check it out. You are bright and level headed enough to realize if the transfer will be for you or because of your boyfriend. You have a great support system in your family. A laptop is a small price to pay for less stress.

Life is full of ups and downs and bumps in the road. It won't be the end of the world if you end up taking an extra year to complete school.

When we were little and my parents would be driving and make a wrong turn, we used to ask if we were lost. My parents always told us we were on an adventure. Make the changes in your life an adventure.


--Mom of bratcat (17 years old) and nonamejames (19 years old)--
Daughter bratcat was diagnosed with pancolitis October 2006
Flared Fall 2006, Fall 2007, Spring 2008
Asacol, Rowasa, hydrocortisone enemas, prednisone, 6-mp, Remicade
7/3/08-Step 1 j-pouch surgery and no more meds
Step 2 scheduled for November 10
 
Son nonamejames was diagnosed with Crohns in Spring 2008
Asacol, Pentasa, 6-mp


schrek-chewbacca hunk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 2666
   Posted 10/1/2008 8:36 AM (GMT -6)   

Oh dear, I certainly can realte to your feelings of anxiety and lonliness being far from the ones you love.  You have quite the decision to make - and when you are stressed and emotional, it is often difficult to be objective.  I have a suggestion if you are open to it.  Can you seek out a counselor - a person who could hear through your issues, and your pros and cons.  That may help with an objective and non-emotional decision.

Also, Anti-anxiety meds helped me bunches through my trials.  I think it is a great idea to speak to your doctor about incorporating them into your regimen.

Lastly, have you tried the mind/body thing - like meditation or relaxation/biofeedback.  I know you are probably thinking - oh god, I don't have time or energy for that now.  It helps some people, and it has helped me get through those emotional times.  Personally I use the wild devine pc meditation and biofeedback.  It takes time to see the results - but I think its worthwhile. 

I hope you are feeling a bit better  --  and you will be in my thoughts and prayers as you make your decision.

With love to all,

bob

 


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 10/1/2008 8:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Sam, I'm kind of in the same boat. I would be in my second year of college but I took the semester off b/c I thought I was going to have surgery, but my c-scope came back pretty good so I canceled it but I'm still not in remission yet. Anyway, my college is 4 hours away from home and I've been thinking about going to a college close to home. But I'm also scared that credits won't transfer over or it won't work out and that it'll prevent me from becoming independent.

I'm sorry your classes aren't going well. Are you taking o. chem and all those really difficult classes? I decided not to be pre-med/science major before being diagnosed w/ UC and now I will never even consider them b/c science is my weak point and it'll really stress me out. But now I have a "pointless" major which I can't do much with unless I go to grad school or completely change majors, which adds a whole different level of stress.

Anyway, sorry I'm not giving much advice but I just wanted to say that I can understand what you're going through! Definitely do the tour and talk to the transfer admisssions people.
Female, Age 19
9 Asacol, Rowasa1000 mg Canasa, Proctofoam, Rifaximin 2/day
Digestive Advantage (Crohn's & Colitis), 1 Florastor, 50 mg 6MP,1 Primadophilus reuteri, Remicade (4 infusions), 2.4 g Lialda, 1 Forvia, 6 Colazal/day, 2 Anucort
 


basa0806
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 2103
   Posted 10/1/2008 9:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Bob- I do know a person on campus I can talk to about all of this. And if I do choose to transfer she could help me get everything set up there. I'm actually meeting with her tomorrow. Plus since I'm too far from home to see my dr so my mom called him and he should be calling me back some time this afternoon to talk about some anxiety meds or something.

Oh yes it is the o chem that is majorly kicking my butt. We had a test a week ago and I bombed it but when I was taking it I felt like I knew the material only to get the test back and find I didn't. I think I am so focused on being done with college in four years because that's what my major requires that everything is completely skewed. I've finally realized if I have to be in school year long then that's what I'll do. There is no chance that I'll switch my major. Nothing else interests me and bio/science is the only thing I'm truly passionate about.

Thank you all for the boost of confidence. I'm trying so hard to keep my head above water and decide to make the change and its really frustrating and its good to know I can vent!
Sam 19 year old college student
Diagnosed March 2005
Remission since January/April 2006 (incident with mono)
3200mg Asacol, 25mg Amitriptlyine, Ortho Tri-cyclen lo, 600mg calcium with vitamin D
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"
Maya Angelou


dakotagirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 3402
   Posted 10/1/2008 12:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Sam - let us know how the tour goes next week. I transferred schools in college - from one two days from home to one four hours from home. Transferring did set me back with some of the credits not transferring, but I was happier at the second school. I didn't have UC to deal with while in school - and I'm counting my blessings for that. I did a crazy thing in school - while trying to make up for credits lost in transfer, I took three semesters of over 20 credit hours. I don't recommend that!!!

Organic Chem is a very difficult class! I don't know anyone who didn't have issues with it.

It's amazing how clear choices can become as you gather information. Best of luck while gathering that info!
Pan-colitis and GERD diagnosed May 2003
Osteopenia (hip and spine) diagnosed Feb 2006
Status:  Remission?!?!?
Asacol 12 per day,  Azathioprine 100mg, Aciphex, Forvia, and Pro-Bio
Remicade: 1st infusion 06/17/08:  Next infusion: 10/07/08
Last Prednisone dose:  7/15/08
 
Co-Moderator UC forum:  Keep HealingWell running smoothly:  www.healingwell.com/donate


basa0806
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 2103
   Posted 10/1/2008 1:19 PM (GMT -6)   
I will definitely! The more I think about it the more the pros out weight the cons and I'm actually getting really exciting to see it! I found most of my credits transfer so that won't be a problem. I might be like a semester behind but thats okay because I would be at the school I'm at now anyways.
Sam 19 year old college student
Diagnosed March 2005
Remission since January/April 2006 (incident with mono)
3200mg Asacol, 25mg Amitriptlyine, Ortho Tri-cyclen lo, 600mg calcium with vitamin D
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"
Maya Angelou


Limeycricketlover
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 10/1/2008 2:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Sam,
Saw your post and felt obliged to respond, as I was so impressed by how clearly you're thinking while obviously under real pressure! I hope you're able to pursue your studies, especially as cytotechnology (I had to look it up) seems a very valuable expertise. Sounds like you've got real good support from your loved ones as well. I'm sure you'll make the best decision - keep on looking forward!
By the way, don't know much about what's available in the U.S, but we have an association in the UK for Colitis and Crohn's (www.nacc.org.uk) that sometimes make small one-off grants for necessary equipment (such as a laptop in your case) for its members. Perhaps someone knows of anything similar over your way?
UC - diagnosed Sep 2008
Seeing GI for first post hospitalization consultation Oct 9th - should get full diagnosis then

Omeprazole 40mg
Prednisolone 20mg
Calcium (Adcal-D3) 3000mg
Mesalazine 4000mg
Mesalazine foam enema


cycling_sasquatch
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 169
   Posted 10/1/2008 2:57 PM (GMT -6)   
I started college at a small school in a small town. While it wasn't so bad for me (and I didn't have UC at the time!) I ended up transferring to a big university in a bigger city. Thought it was party due to a girl, I also wanted more opportunities as I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. It was the best thing I ever did. Though the thing with that girl didn't work out, I met my wife and was much closer to home. I had a much more fulfilling college life there. It was a tough decision, but was well worth the stress.

You say that now is supposed to be the best times of your life. I agree with that partly, though I'm only 29 and post-college years were great too. But I'd also add that now is the time to take some chances too. Good luck.
UC diagnosed Dec. 2006
Azathioprine 200mg/day
Multivitamin, fish oil, fiber supplement, Nature's Way Primadophilus Optima, Digestive Advantage Crohn's & Colitis


basa0806
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 2103
   Posted 10/1/2008 7:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm from the twin cities area so I'm so used to being in the "cities" and I move to this school and its soooo small (no MALL!!!) and too far away. I just gotta be close to home!
Sam 19 year old college student
Diagnosed March 2005
Remission since January/April 2006 (incident with mono)
3200mg Asacol, 25mg Amitriptlyine, Ortho Tri-cyclen lo, 600mg calcium with vitamin D
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"
Maya Angelou


Peety
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 10/2/2008 1:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Trust your instincts. Good luck
49 year old female attorney, diagnosed UC/pancolitis 1985, no surgery but much suffering.
Asacol/5ASA maintenance for 20+ years, usually 3 pills 2x day. Use prednisone & Rowasa for flares. 
August 2008 sought care of naturopathic doctor. Tested gluten intolerant and started gluten-free diet, also none of the other foods tested sensitive to (cow's milk, soy, tomato, egg white, others)
Achieved remission for the first time in many, many years! 
Replete probiotic. Slow-release iron and B-12 shots for anemia.
 

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