I can't tell you what the person with UC would want you to do but I can certainly relate! Having to watch your children go through this (or anytime they are hurting) is so hard for the parent. It's our job to keep them safe and we feel we aren't doing our job. Add to this that they probably inherited some crappy (pun intended) gene from us and the guilt doubles. I have spent many showers crying my eyes out.
My daughter is 17 and her flares were horrible. She allowed me to "baby" her by setting up the couch with her pillow and blanket, etc. I have sent her to school with her almost in tears knowing she was healthier than before but still not feeling well. My son's Crohns shows up differently and he also keeps more of his discomfort to himself. I still ask alot of questions and he answers but I still feel like I am letting him down.
When they are not in as much pain, I have at times asked each of them what I can do for them. You can always buy him a small lego set. Yes he is past that age but you can remind him that you are always there. It may bring a smile to his face remembering those little things.
I am sure he and your daughter know that you are always there for them. You've taught him to deal with his UC over the past several years. He has learned how to be strong from you. Just letting your kids know you are always there for them makes it easier. They know they can always count on you. And that is what being a parent is all about.
Stay strong. I hope your son is feeling better soon. Let me know if you want to talk.
--Mom of bratcat (17 years old) and nonamejames (19 years old)--
Daughter bratcat was diagnosed with pancolitis October 2006
Flared Fall 2006, Fall 2007, Spring 2008
Asacol, Rowasa, hydrocortisone enemas, prednisone, 6-mp, Remicade
7/3/08-Step 1 j-pouch surgery and no more meds
Step 2 scheduled for November 10
Son nonamejames was diagnosed with Crohns in Spring 2008
Asacol, Pentasa, 6-mp