Please help me!! (Sort of UC related)

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iluvsunflowers15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 395
   Posted 12/1/2008 8:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi guys!
 
Normally I would not post on this board regarding a personal issue, but I am desperate.
 
My boyfriend and I had a situation occur yesterday that was my fault. Lately, I've been having anger outburts and tantrums for no reason. For example, my guy and I were going to get a late lunch (way too late for me but we had to go to a flower show and stop by his aunt and uncle's house) and turns out the restaurant we wanted to dine at was closed. I started to get a little ticked since there was no other place to eat at in the little mall. We proceeded to shop at A.C. Moore so I can get a few things. I was "happy go lucky" as my boyfriend put it. As soon as we left the store, it hit me that it was almost 4pm and I did not have any lunch.  I felt the anger boiling and I started shutting him out. I yelled at him and just got really pissy. This was really out his control but I took it out on him. The first thing is that he is the most wonderful man I've ever been with. I love him so much and I am honestly afraid he will leave me one day if I keep this behavior up. I can easily snap or just lose it over stupid stuff. I have to admit that I am a perfectionist and like to be in control.
 
My bf and I had a long talk last night in the car with me crying of course. He said he could not take it anymore when I shut him out and not tell him how I am really feeling then and there. He DID ask me after the flower show if I wanted to get something to eat before stopping at his aunt and uncle's house. I said no because it would be eaiser to wait until afterwords. I did not realize how long we would be staying at his aunt/uncle's house.
 
My guy is a social worker and he thinks I need therapy to get past some issues. I was married before and was critized and verbally abused pretty much by every man I've been with except for myc urrent bf. We've been together for more than a year and I don't want to keep doing this to him and especially myself.
 
I am currently taking Remicade, Fiorciet (doctors are saying I am dependent on it-will see a neuro doctor in January), Lialda, and a bunch of vitamins. Please offer any advice.
 
Thank you. I am really depressed about this.
 
 
Colazal 750 mg 3x3 daily
6-MP 50 mg (2) daily
Miralax-when needed
Rowasa-when needed
Been diagnosed with UC for 5 years


princesa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 2204
   Posted 12/1/2008 8:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Many UCers begin to feel bad if they don't eat healthy small meals at regular intervals. Skipping meals can lead to blood sugar problems which can definitely affect your mood. Make sure you eat regularly and on time. If you're going to be out and about and think you might get into a situation like you've described, make sure you carry some sort of healthy snack with you. With a little preplanning, you won't be put in that position again.

Food issues aside, from what you've described, it does sound like you're experiencing some mood swings and anger that are out of proportion to the situation. You also admit to having an abusive past. I think your boyfriend's advice to get counseling is on target. If you want to stay in this relationship, you owe it to him to resolve past issues with someone who can really help you. I'm often stumped as to why people put off therapy as a sort of last resort when it can be a lifesaver.
Diagnosed with ulcerative colitis spring 1999.
 
Maintenance dose sulfasalazine.
Probiotics, l-glutamine and fish oil caps. George's aloe vera juice. Oregano oil antibiotic, antiviral, antifungal. Long-term remission with only minor blips.
 
 


suebear
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 5698
   Posted 12/1/2008 8:57 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree that some counseling will help you. Don't be hard on yourself; get the help and learn why you behave the way you do and learn to let go of the control issues. You will find it immensely liberating to be free of that! Also, always remember the triggers for anger; being hungry, being tired, and being lonely. Get some help. It sounds like you have a great boyfriend who is advocating for you.

Sue
dx proctitis in 1987
dx UC in 1991, was stable until 1998

1998 started prednisone, asacol, pentasa, nortriptylene, ativan, 6MP, rowasa enemas and suppositories, hydrocortisone enemas, tried the SCD diet, being a vegetarian, omega 3s, flax, pranic healing, yoga, acupuncture, probiotics

2000 lost all my B-12 stores and became anemic

2001 opted for j-pouch surgery- now living life med-free


iluvsunflowers15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 395
   Posted 12/1/2008 9:24 AM (GMT -6)   
I forgot to mention that my UC symptoms have returned due to the stress and also my grandfather has been in the hospital. :(
Colazal 750 mg 3x3 daily
6-MP 50 mg (2) daily
Miralax-when needed
Rowasa-when needed
Been diagnosed with UC for 5 years


iluvsunflowers15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 395
   Posted 12/1/2008 10:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your advice. I normally speak to my parents regarding my issues and what not but my father usually says later on that each of us in the family has problems. It makes me reluctant to discuss it. My father even states t hat he notices my anger issues as well as tantrums. Thank you for your sweet posts regarding my boyfriend.
Colazal 750 mg 3x3 daily
6-MP 50 mg (2) daily
Miralax-when needed
Rowasa-when needed
Been diagnosed with UC for 5 years


TraciZ
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 255
   Posted 12/1/2008 10:16 AM (GMT -6)   
That's all the more reason to think about counseling. You don't have to be "crazy" to go to a counselor. Many, many people go during stressful times and transitions like you're going through. It can really help to talk about things with someone who can be objective and provide some new tools for you to use when things get a little out of control.
 
I go through mood swings when I'm hungry, too. Now, I carry snacks in my purse, just in case I need them. Nuts, granola bars & dried fruit are all good choices and can be carried with you, in your desk at work or in the car. It can help your blood sugar stay more stable.
 
It sounds like you're in a great relationship. You owe it to yourself and your BF to figure this out. Dealing with the past abuse you experienced can be hard, but very important if you want to be done with it and move on. You're not alone!
Tressa 35 (F) in WNY
UC w/skip lesions & stomach ulcers
Asacol 12/day, prilosec twice/day, Canasa as needed


suebear
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 5698
   Posted 12/1/2008 11:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Although friends and family can be a great sounding board, they aren't objective enough or trained in dealing with behavorial issues. It is not weak or a cop out to seek professional help. It doesn't mean you are defective or incapable. I have sought therapy on several occasions over a period of twenty years. I have been amazed at what I have learned about myself that family and friends could not have taught me. I have learned new coping skills and a better way to handle myself in difficult situations. It's your choice; continue as you and get the same results or try something new. It sounds as if your plate is really full, all the more reason (along with having a chronic illness) to get expert feedback.

Sue
dx proctitis in 1987
dx UC in 1991, was stable until 1998

1998 started prednisone, asacol, pentasa, nortriptylene, ativan, 6MP, rowasa enemas and suppositories, hydrocortisone enemas, tried the SCD diet, being a vegetarian, omega 3s, flax, pranic healing, yoga, acupuncture, probiotics

2000 lost all my B-12 stores and became anemic

2001 opted for j-pouch surgery- now living life med-free


quincy
Elite Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 30373
   Posted 12/1/2008 2:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Ditto the therapy.....it will definitey go a long way to helping you realise you don't have to be in control of everything and everyone in your life

The more you intellectualise and not take responsibility for your own actions, the harder it'll be when you realise you're alone.

Yes, you have health issues and it's understandable that you're ticked and sad and depressed.

Yes, you have to eat for your body needs the nutriends and low blood sugar can encourage feelings of agitation.

Yes, you were abused in your past relationship....you have to allow yourself to heal, to forgive so that you can open up to the boyfriend who obviously loves you. He deserves that.

Therapy isn't a failure, it's freedom.

Hang tough....it's not a ride one takes lightly, but it's truly awesome during all the lghtbulb moments. Besides, the true you is what will emerge after all the defenses you've build up are revealed.

Oh, forgot to say that you have the right to all your feelings. It's what you do with them that can have repercussions. Bringing those feelings to the cognitive level and allowing yourself options of how to react will give you the time to make a good decision. You also need to prepare yourself for your day's events such as having snacks, etc to keep yourself from getting physically exhausted from having no food intake.

One more thing....saying you're sorry about how you acted without the "but" to justify helps a lot!

quincy
*Heather* Status..Asacol 6 (3 twice daily); enemas every 4th night
~diagnosed January 1989 UC (proctosigmoiditis)
~Bentylol (dicyclomine) 20mg as needed
~vitamins/minerals/supplements 
~Probiotics....(Natural Factors Protec 2 or 3  +   1 or 2 Primadophilus Reuteri Pearls @ bedtime
~multi-digestive enzymes as needed
~Ranitidine,Pariet (reflux);  Effexor XR 75mg(depression);  Pulmicort/Airomir (asthma)
~URSO for PSC (or PBC) 500mg X 2 daily (LFTs back to NORMAL!!)
My doc's logic.. "TREAT (FROM)BOTH ENDS"  worth it !!!
 

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