I know you feel that you are managing this disease effectively, but could it be that others are seeing you suffer in a way that you are not aware? I know that when my anxiety is starting to get out of control my family notices before I do. I'm also stepping out on a limb here, but it could be that you rely too much on your boyfriend for support. I understand how important it is to have someone like him in your life, but please make sure the UC is not a primary issue in that relationship. The secret to coping and living with a chronic illness is to not allow it control...you have UC...UC does not have you. And it sounds like you do manage fairly well...but maybe it's a bigger part of your life than you think.
I personally am exhausted with this disease, and I do my best to not allow it control...however, never being in remission makes it very difficult to get on with my life. : ) I found this site extremely supportive and it's taken a lot of the strain off my husband and family b/c they have seen a change in my attitude. Also having decided to go through with surgery has given me hope for the first time in two years, so I'm just a little giddy. Today is not such a good day, and I had to ask another professional to take over a class I was supposed to teach this weekend...so that really is upsetting. I absolutely hate it when I'm unable to follow through with basic responsibilities...and that goes for my jobs...housework...Mommy things...it just really sucks.
Now, I am on Paxil to help with my sadness and overall anxiety...it helps to take the edge off and it allows me the opportunity to think through my feelings. I also am very strict on myself and my clients about
pitty parties being 10 minutes...you get one per day...so time it. : )
Also...having a chronic illness affects not just you but your entire family. The life cycle you are in is permantely altered b/c of your needs and inabilities. Roles between yourself and your family members are different than those who do not have a chronic illness b/c our needs are different. Unfortunately we rely on assistance at times, and this is something a normal 20-some year old should not need. I'm 28 and I need my family to help maintain the cleanliness of my home...care for my son...and just their presence sometimes helps to lift my spirits. Now, if I did not have this disease I would not think of asking my Mom to help with dishes...I can do it...but not when I'm having a super bad couple days...I really appreciate her help.
Anyway, I am so sorry if I'm not any help. I just think that one's mental health is of the upmost importance, and when you have a situation such as UC, it's even more important to be aware of your feelings and your needs.
I do wish you the best and that you find supports for yourself and your family.
: ) Robin
Dx-May 2007 Asacol-2400mg bid Prednisone-20mg Remicade-4 Tx
Paxil-40mg Prilosec-bid Multivitamin Moderate/Severe Pancolitis
28 year old Mommy of a 1 year old and a Wife for almost 2 years!
Life has never been so sweet! I appreciate the small things in life...the little joys that occur every second of every day. Though we struggle and have crazy complications, nothing can over ride our love and happiness.