why do we do it?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 574
   Posted 4/24/2009 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Why no matter how i am feeling that i smile and say im fine i do it all the time is it just the easy thing to do rather than try to explain or just pretending to myself which is not so easy as have nice moon face from pred and huge dark circles under my eyes from not sleepinng or is what i/we feel so long that i feel who ever asked would have stopped listerning before i had finished list seems that long i even do it to my husband i know he knows when im feeling rough but does not say unless i say something first which i know is not fair as he is not a mind reader how many others put on a smile and just get on while our insides are a constant battle and muscles ache so much its hard to walk.
  Diagnosed 22.5.08 with Lft sided U/C
  Meds Predfoam 20mg 2x day stopped started pentasa supps 1gm 26/6/08
 Asacol 800mg x2 twice daily
  Domperidone 10mg as needed
  co codamol 30/500 x2 when needed
  Asacol foam 2g nightly 19/3/09
  Prednisone 60mg 19/3/09 tappering after2wks

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2105
   Posted 4/24/2009 8:24 PM (GMT -6)   
If I focused on how I actually felt at times I would feel even worse. It's much better to focus on the positive aspects of the day and try and get good energy from them.
Proctitis DX 1999, Pancolitis DX 2008
Lialda 1 day
Golimumab study (100mg every 4 weeks)
Vitamin E Enemas as needed

Eva Lou
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 3442
   Posted 4/25/2009 6:52 AM (GMT -6)   
and when someone asks "How you doing?" they don't really care- it's just another way of saying "Hey, what's up?". You start blabbing on about health problems & it's a bore. Even your family gets tired of it! Plus, it's true that when you focus on the negatives, that's all you're going to see. When you really do feel so physically bad that walking is a problem, you may just want to go to bed for the day!

diagnosed with UC '02
Asacol- 8 tabs/day
Remicade-10mgs/kg- since 4/07
Imuran- 150mgs/day
various probiotics
Fiber supplement

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 498
   Posted 4/25/2009 8:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Eva is quite right. I agree with supersaw- ...."You are alive, and that is the point"
45 years Male Attorney
Diagnosed UC October 1989
Had two stage J Pouch Surgery Nov 2005; Take Down March 2006
Complications after surgery - Incisional Hernia and Ano Fistulas
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle: Albert Einstein
"What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 903
   Posted 4/25/2009 9:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Eva too, "How are you doing? is a common courtesy in our culture. Not everyone wants to really know how you are doing. It kinda stinks, but that's the truth. Although, I grew up in church, and if I remember right that I was told that if someone asks how you are doing, they really want to know. I believe that that is only in church, and with your close group of people in your circle. I believe that people in church really want to know how you are doing so that they can pray for you. I half the time depending on how I feel, just say I'm fine to my friends. Sometimes I just don't want to talk about things. To me, the "I'm fine" response is a common reaction as a greeting to each other in passing from point A to point B.
27 year old, Married, Female.
Diagnosed with UC since March 2007

Taking Humira and Imuran since May 2007 (Currently in remission since May 2007)
Taken off Imuran 1/15/09
Only taking Humira.

Can't take Asacol, Allergic to Remicade

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 460
   Posted 4/25/2009 11:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I think the general population doesn't really care how you are actually doing BUT I wouldn't put on a happy face all the time for your family. It's not fair to have the disease and to have to pretend everything is okay. If I'm not feeling well I will talk to my husband or my mom about it. It's not like I go on and on about it, but it's not good for me to keep things bottled up and never talk about it.
Female, Age 38
Diagnosed w/c.diff 7/02 when pregnant w/1st and only child during 2nd trimester(wasn't on antibiotics)
C.diff flare within weeks of delivering baby 1/03, Diagnosed with UC 2/03
Current Meds:
Lialda, 6MP
Ferrex Forte
Acidophillus, Sacchromyces Boulardii, Oil of Oregano

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 4/25/2009 2:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Its correct manners to answer the question, "how are you" with "fine, thank you, and you?" because like ya'll all said, noone really cares. well not random people, lol.
Your family does care though, and they want, and need to know, if something is bothering you.

Eva Lou
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 3442
   Posted 4/25/2009 4:13 PM (GMT -6)   
well I agree that your family generally does want to know how you feel- & I do blab on about my issues to them! But sometimes, I really hear myself, & I'm like "Shut up already- same stuff, different day". Sometimes I swear my husband (& daughter) think of me as one big walking, talking colon. It's all about the bm's.....!!!!!!! how pathetic!

diagnosed with UC '02
Asacol- 8 tabs/day
Remicade-10mgs/kg- since 4/07
Imuran- 150mgs/day
various probiotics
Fiber supplement

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 4/26/2009 5:19 AM (GMT -6)   
If they ask, I tell them. Honesty is the best policy. My boss asked me how I was feeling after a return from the bathroom the other day. I told him I thought there was a "murder scene in my a**". If you can't have a good laugh at what's been thrown at you what can you have!
Initial Symptoms SEP 2007.
Bleeding from somewhere I shouldn't be for a year and a half...ehh it will probably go away.
Diagnosed JAN 2009.

Prednisone - Hey this stuff kinda works.
Rowasa - Fun little way to end the day.
Asacol: Not so much!

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/26/2009 9:52 PM (GMT -6)   

How much is too much though when talking about this?  I've only been flaring for two weeks and although no one around me has said so, I'm sure they are tired of hearing about my colon.  Is this going to take over my life?  My poor friends and family.  I personally think answering "fine" is acceptable, otherwise if the randoms in your life know about what you're dealing w/ that's just another person who's going to ask about it when they see you.  I feel like I've talked about my colon and bm's enough for a life time.  Kinda grumpy tonight sorry, cramping really bad today. 

TxGirl - Britt 28 yrs old
Diagnosed UC April 08 - 1st real flare April 09
Currently on 4 daily Asacol

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, September 23, 2018 7:25 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 3,005,921 posts in 329,282 threads.
View Active Threads

Who's Online
This forum has 161809 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, DragonM.
255 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Ultimo_G, dbwilco, FLBeachgal, moleUC