Same here. I fear having to have surgery because of cancer....I constantly worry about it, especially since I am at year 15. I am 35 years old, and have always dealt with UC symptoms in some fashion....My flares do not have a distinct start/stop line - they are blurry and it is more like a gradual transition from flare to having less symptoms, to flare, etc... I am having a very harsh flare right now with a lot of blood...taking 30mg pred and asacol...still bleeding, cramping, urgency, etc...Just found out that I need to start B-12 injections.....I am getting more scared that I will be heading for surgery soon....we havent tried 6MP, immuran or Remicade yet - which I know are my last chances before they recommend surgery....but I am going to also hold out, risk it, and see what develops in the next years as long as I do not have cancer or displacia...
I am not ready to lose my colon yet....I can't mentally deal with it at this point, although if I am forced to make a life or death decision, I am sure it will be much easier to deal with....but contemplating it in my head is very difficult...I have been through major surgeries before and know what recovery is like....I fear the pain and discomfort, as well as having to be hooked to external devices (a bag) even though that is temporary...it has got to be a very hard thing to mentally cope with and accept - I dont feel strong enough at this point to do it....
Stats:35 yr old male. UC for 15 years.
location:North Western PA
DX: Started left-sided, most recent scope shows pancolitis
Medications:20mg pred (as of 4/27/09), 12x pills Asacol per day, 1mg Atavan per day (anxiety) when needed, 20mg paxil per day, Super-omega fish oil pills - 1x per day, Flax oil pills - 1x am, 1x pm, Culturelle probiotics - 2x am, 1x pm, Multivitamin.
Surgeries: Recent Endonasal brain surgery to remove non-cancerous hormone producing tumor on pituitary gland (and I am still more afraid of my UC!!)
"I poop in the woods because I can"