I feel the same way often. Not like I would actually do something about
it but I always joke that maybe some mishap would take me out and that it would be for the best. I am just tired of my life and it doesn't have too much to do with the UC, more to do with the job market and the fact that I struggle so hard to move forward and I can't even get one step closer to success. By success I don't mean rich and famous either, I mean a decent job, a comfortable home, a happy relationship, insurance, a vacation here and there... the little things that most people take for granted. I will not have children either, not because of my UC or genetics but because of how hard I have struggled to get no where. I don't see a point in bringing another person into a world of struggling. I have nothing to offer a person. I am not sure I would choose to be born into this world if given the option. Maybe if my parents were able to support me forever and I could go draw in a studio that I didn't have to worry about
paying for. The way I live in not worthwhile. ahh, feels good to get that off my chest.
Perhaps Ill go pig out on some chocolate and curb my PMS hormonal negative attitude. One of the positives of my current mini flare is that I managed to drop a few pounds.
I hope you guys are all feeling less down - maybe you feel worse after having read that load of crap.
Diagnosed with mild proctitis in March 2007: Treated with Canasa (as needed)
December 08: Began treating with Asacol 400mg (9/day) + Canasa 2x/day - Anemic
May 09: Off Canasa, taking Asacol (9/day)
Back on Canasa every other night + Asacol (9/day) + Probiotics + Iron
Reducing to 6 Asacol/day + Canasa + Probiotics + Iron - So far so good!!! -SPOKE TOO SOON! Back to 9/day...