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herbalgerbals
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 6/4/2009 9:46 PM (GMT -6)   
somtimes I just want to end this and start my next life!

You know, if only I believed in reincarnation!

Ofcours,e I will keep fighting.. but seriously, just wish this nightmare was over for all of us...

Supa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 748
   Posted 6/4/2009 11:30 PM (GMT -6)   
I completely understand. I was diagnosed 2+ years ago, and things are under control, but I live in fear of the next flare or the next complication. And I constantly think about how this is limiting my life (we want another child, but I am not at a point that I am ready to risk my health to do it), and it is hard.

I am seriously looking into finding a therapist in my insurance network, and I think it might be a good thing for any of us. My acupuncturist is a great "therapist" for me at times, but I really need help working through the ups and downs on this disease.

My heart goes out to you and everyone living with this disease (and those living with any type of chronic condition). Until you have lived it, you just don't realize what it can do to a person.

We're here when you need to vent.
Laura
 
34 years old, stay at home mom of 2 girls, ages almost 4 and 2.5
 
Diagnosed in 2007
Currently on:
Asacol 6pills/day
Biweekly injections for Humira clinical trial-going well so far!!
Off of canasa because of severe joint pain (side effect)


storysinger81
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 6/4/2009 11:48 PM (GMT -6)   
*virtual hug*

I've been really down this week, too.

If you need someone to talk to, especially if you're feeling suicidal (I know you were joking, but the down feelings aren't a joke :( ), try 1.800.SUICIDE. I used to volunteer counsel there, and it's a really great organization. You can even get them to help you look up longer-term counseling solutions in your area. There might be a support group or a counselor who specializes in chronic diseases... who knows?

I wonder if there's a support hotlind for IBD... hm... a quick internet search revealed that some organizations are trying to start one, but it seems like less of a counseling thing and more of a disease information thing.

Take care of yourself.

shortstuff1
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 6/5/2009 8:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hang in there! I think we all have been in that state as some point or another. I am guessing that you are in a flare right now... just remember how good you can feel when you get your flare under control. Keep your head up. I have found some people in my area who have this disease... a lot more than I ever imagined and I use them for support. Maybe you could see if your doctor knows of a support group in your area?? Good luck and it's ok to have bad days but I agree with Storysinger81, if these feelings continue you need to contact someone. Of course we are hear to listen and sometimes just hearing that you aren't the only one who feels at their witts end at times makes everything feel not as hopeless.
29 yr old recently diagnosed with UC in Nov 08. Taking Asacol 3 times daily and Steriod enemas 2 times daily. no children, very active;


Hellokitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 765
   Posted 6/5/2009 1:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Dont feel alone really. Ive felt like that all week. In fact I agured with god this week (if he is really there) I told him you just better take me. I know this is hard for my husband to hear me speak like this. This last couple of months have been hard and I now know I will never risk having kids. I just don't want to give them my genes. The best thing to do is talk to us because i think everyone on this form has felt depressed at some point. And at least if you talk to people who are going thourh the same thing they are more likly to understand, sometimes healthy people cant understand because they just don't know what it feels like.

I had a friend who said "whats wrong with you. your always sick, eat some meat". I told her I had IBD, she said "oh just take a laxitive." LoL.
Female 32 years old
 
Diganosed ulcerative colitis November 2007
Present medication- 1X 500mg pentasa in the morrning= 250g pentasa and 1 X250g Asacol every other evening
Diet- Tried raw food diet with 80% raw foods, found some pro's and cons. Started to add more products to keep up weight as mine did not balance. Still eating raw spinage and still am combination eating. No dairy No gluten.  
 
Other medical problems- Born with asthma- no medication taken for this.
dyslexia- found out that many people with learning difficulties also have food sensitivity


Peety
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 6/5/2009 1:42 PM (GMT -6)   
When I would be sad about not being able to do certain things because of my UC, I would just remind myself that all people are limited by something, whether it's their health, their money, their job or family responsibilities, their shyness, or any number of things. We have this thing.
 
There are still plenty of ways to enjoy life with UC. I'm having a very happy life, despite a long, long time of struggling with UC on a daily basis.
49 year old female attorney, diagnosed UC/pancolitis 1985, no surgery but much suffering. Asacol maintenance for 20+ years; used prednisone & Rowasa for flares.  Probiotics (Ultimate Flora, 50 billion), salmon oil (omega-3) when I can remember. 
August 2008 sought care of naturopathic doctor. Food sensitivity test showed wheat/gluten, other intolerances; eliminated wheat/gluten from my diet.
Bad flare in March, used prednisone. Humira denied, started Remicade 4/12 and doing great~ learning what normal is~ wow


herbalgerbals
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 6/5/2009 1:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Unfortunatly I could never be suicidal.. Im just quite synical, and can laugh at these feelings I get..

Thanks for your replies, they definitly made me a lil happier, well not your suffering but just that people Do know what it is like. I only know one person with crohns, and he has been in remission since he had his smaller intestine diced up 5 years ago. that lucky ******.

Hellokitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 765
   Posted 6/5/2009 1:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Your 1 up on me. I have only ever met 1 person in my life with IBD. And I was 18 when I met him.
Female 32 years old
 
Diganosed ulcerative colitis November 2007
Present medication- 1X 500mg pentasa in the morrning= 250g pentasa and 1 X250g Asacol every other evening
Diet- Tried raw food diet with 80% raw foods, found some pro's and cons. Started to add more products to keep up weight as mine did not balance. Still eating raw spinage and still am combination eating. No dairy No gluten.  
 
Other medical problems- Born with asthma- no medication taken for this.
dyslexia- found out that many people with learning difficulties also have food sensitivity


notsosicklygirl
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16710
   Posted 6/5/2009 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel the same way often. Not like I would actually do something about it but I always joke that maybe some mishap would take me out and that it would be for the best. I am just tired of my life and it doesn't have too much to do with the UC, more to do with the job market and the fact that I struggle so hard to move forward and I can't even get one step closer to success. By success I don't mean rich and famous either, I mean a decent job, a comfortable home, a happy relationship, insurance, a vacation here and there... the little things that most people take for granted. I will not have children either, not because of my UC or genetics but because of how hard I have struggled to get no where. I don't see a point in bringing another person into a world of struggling. I have nothing to offer a person. I am not sure I would choose to be born into this world if given the option. Maybe if my parents were able to support me forever and I could go draw in a studio that I didn't have to worry about paying for. The way I live in not worthwhile. ahh, feels good to get that off my chest.
 
Perhaps Ill go pig out on some chocolate and curb my PMS hormonal negative attitude. One of the positives of my current mini flare is that I managed to drop a few pounds.
 
I hope you guys are all feeling less down - maybe you feel worse after having read that load of crap. smilewinkgrin
Diagnosed with mild proctitis in March 2007: Treated with Canasa (as needed)
December 08: Began treating with Asacol 400mg (9/day) + Canasa 2x/day - Anemic
May 09: Off Canasa, taking Asacol (9/day)
Back on Canasa every other night + Asacol (9/day) + Probiotics + Iron
Reducing to 6 Asacol/day + Canasa + Probiotics + Iron - So far so good!!! -SPOKE TOO SOON! Back to 9/day...


lucasJ
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 178
   Posted 6/5/2009 5:59 PM (GMT -6)   
i think the best thing we can do is try to not think about colitis all the time. I know it can become all consuming at times where it is all we think about. I sometimes wonder if this perpetuates it. Just live life, Love your kids, play some games. go do fun stuff and only think about uc when you have to.
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