Kara, I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time now. Everyone is right, this is the place to come to whine, moan, vent or whatever you need to do. No matter what you're feeling at the time, there will be people here who have felt the same. I totally feel your pain, because as you know, I was flaring for a very long time.
I learned to respond to "How are you today?" with either "Great, thanks!" or "It was a difficult morning." Nothing more, but it did cue people as to when I wasn't feeling well.
I hope you and your doctor arrive at a plan that works soon. And remember, Remicade has given a lot of us back our lives and surgery has given a lot of others their lives. So whatever happens, there is a rainbow ahead.
Ulcerative colitis forum co-moderator
Moderate to severe left-sided UC diagnosed 2001.
Flared for 5 years, finally in remission with Remicade since March 2006.
Avascular necrosis in both shoulders is my "forever" gift from steroids.
Colazal, Remicade, Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri.
"My life is an ongoing medical adventure"