Thank you all for your input, it definitely helps to commisserate!
I was diagnosed last year, and Im turning 33 in a week, so I agree with Laura and really really feel for you guys that are a bit younger and going through this---You have already been dealing with it during an age where the people around you might just be off partying, super self-absorbed, oblivious to hardships like chronic disease. Im pretty sure I was myself, at the time. Im also sure , though, that you have benefitted in that your inner selves are stronger and more independent than those around you that arent dealing with these things! Elephantpipe and Jesse's girl, Im really glad that you guys are in relationships with understanding people who are helping you through! And Laura, I give you many kudos, too! I cant imagine how hard it is caring for 2 little ones when you arent feeling well yourself.
Im not sure certain aspects like this get easier with age, though. I too have very few, close friendships, a core of maybe 5 people total, beyond my family. I guess thats why this is so hard to swallow, because with my best friend, who is really more like a sister, we are very close, and support one another, and I have been there for her. for example, I was her shoulder to cry on for several months when her boyfriend of 4 years left her and became engaged 2 months later. These people are supposedly tested and true, but so far disappointing. I dont want to be bitter, or shut people out, cause those arent healthy emotions.
Maybe this is taking it a little too deep, but I have started looking at my relationships and trying to figure out any unhealthy patterns. I know that I am very much an empath, and do a lot of listening for my friend. Im beginning to think maybe its unbalanced, like Im allowing her to dump too much of her negative emotions on me. Which might explain why she cant accept my not being Okay. That could be a pattern that is stressful and unhealthy, that I need to change.
ANywaYS, I suppose I should just count my blessings and thank god for my parents and my sister (sorry, the brothers are oblivious. 1 year later, dont even think they know the name of this disease). I am sure there are people out there right now facing this alone. But it also does make me think deeper, about
marriage and/or having a life partner that is going to be there, and who I will be there for, in sickness and health, (I had began wondering if i would just end up single)...
I was thinking about
that clip, dont know if any of you have seen it,, in the movie Dumb and Dumber, where the guy is in the bathroom with outrageous diarrhea. Maybe I could watch that clip with them, (though i dont think id find it at all humourous at this point) and try to make light of it, while trying to prove a point. Actually i think probably its a dumb idea. Yah, its late.
Ignorance is ignorance, i guess I gotta just chalk it up, forgive, and let go.
I love reading your thoughts and experiences, so if yall got any more, bringem on!
Post Edited (gonnaworkthruthis) : 7/9/2009 5:37:57 PM (GMT-6)