Crutch? OT kinda

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 7/22/2009 1:02 PM (GMT -6)   
*Fair warning* This will be longish.
Some one very close to me claimed that I use my health as a crutch, because I choose to sleep in between 530-11am. I work nights. This year has been the first that I haven't been going to school full time while working part time. Now, at my families request, I'm am doing one or the other until my health stabilizes. I have put myself through dental school, years of college. Working to pay for it on my own. I am almost always fatigued. I wake up with enough time to clean, cook, play with the pets, walk the pets, read (learning something new every day), research things for myself family and friends, call my mother and one of my close friends just to brighten their day, work out, do some yoga, garden... I could go on and on.
I'm so livid I don't even know what to do. This person knows my medical background, has been supportive and understanding for such a long time. Where did this out burst come from? Why now? WHY would this person say such a thing in such a harsh manner? If it was bothering this person, why not sit down calmy to discuss it instead of attack me? This really saddens me. It reminds me why I spent so many years loathing most people. I don't want to be like that again, I prefer to have faith in people. But this.
This I do not understand. I needed to vent. Aside from my mother, I figured yall might understand.
-Ruptured ovarian cyst           7/4/2003 hospitalized for 3 days
-ER Laparoscopy
Dx Endometriosis                   11/10/2003 hospitalized for 3 days
-Ulcerative Colitis Dx              10/2005
-Pleurisy Dx                          12/26/2007
-1st and only UC flare             Jan-Mar 2006
1.2gm Lialda 3 daily, 100mg Zoloft, 110mcg Fluticasone, Proventil, Vit. B12 complex, 400mcg Folic Acid, 400iu Vit. E, 1000mg Vit. C, 800iu Vit. A, 454gm Hydrocerin.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7150
   Posted 7/22/2009 1:09 PM (GMT -6)   
So you only get 5.5 hours of sleep a night? No wonder you're always tired! I can do a couple of nights on that much sleep, but too many more days than that and I get absolutely worn out. My advice is to ignore what the person said, and if they said it again, let 'em have it.
Status: Remission since late May 2009!
Symptoms began in November 2008, ~4 weeks after giving birth to my son.
Diagnosed with pancolitis on 1/30/09
Currently taking Apriso (4 pills ONCE!! daily), Rowasa twice weekly, Natural Factors Ultimate probiotic 12/12 Formula, and Zoloft (25 mg).

Rio in Maryland
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 891
   Posted 7/22/2009 3:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I wouldn't expect other people to understand what you're going through, otherwise you'll probably end up getting disappointed. And if this person means that much to you, then instead of him/her taking the initiative, maybe you could sit down with them and explain things in your own way.

UC is an odd disease for people to relate to as many people just think it's some sort of a stomach problem, and not that big a deal.

And even those who know all the gory details still don't have as good an idea as to what you're going through (unfortunately that includes many GI specialists).

On the other hand, maybe at times we do use UC as a crutch and don't realize it because we're getting used to being this way.
Rio, 33 year old male. Diagnosed with UC in 2006
100 mg Azathioprine (stopped), 4800 mg Asacol
VSL#3 & Primadophilus Bifidus, Metamucil
Vitamin E enema or Asacol suppository occasionally

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 227
   Posted 7/22/2009 4:01 PM (GMT -6)   
that's too bad about your friend saying that.  try to ignore them (or you can try to explain it to them , but like another poster said, they will probably never understand).  i know i too work a job at night and thus go to bed late and get up late.  over the years i have found that with my uc, i am usesless in the mornings.  doing the 9 to 5 thing made me sicker. i feel terrible when i wake up in the am.  my body does much better afternoons and in the evenings.  thus, the lifestyle of sleeping in and working at night is much better for my health and productivity.  we are still working just as much as anyone else, but for some reason people judge others who sleep in!!!  i just don't get it.  i guess because it's unconventional.  perhaps they are jealous!  i know friends and even family don't take my job seriously because it is an evening job and it's from home.  it really hurts my feelings too!  it is a real job, and it's not easy, and i work my *** off!!!   i know one thing - try to get more hours of sleep in.  i used to do that 5.5 hours of sleep thing, but do much better if i can squeeze in 8 hours (yeah, easier said than done, i know).  and ignore that ignorant person; i too have lost faith in a lot of people whom i used to have faith in because of their attitude towards my uc and their judgements.  live your life the way that is most comfortable for YOU and ignore anyone who judges you - it is your life.  spend more time with the more uplifting people in your life and your animals is what i say!!!  my animals understand and are supportive far more than any human- ha!

UC since 1994
4 Lialda/day, 15 mg prednisone and tapering (down from 40 mg), rowasa, folic acid, VSL#3, flax oil, vegetarian diet

Elite Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 30998
   Posted 7/22/2009 4:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi....I wouldn't say it's a crutch, I would say your friend is possibly feeling somehow rejected or she doesn't have an option to sleep in or she's having a more difficult time than you realise with her life and isn't as supportive, etc. You could ask her what her perception of your situation is and ask more questions than being defensive. Hard I know, but there is only her perception as to why she acted that way.

The only way you'll know is if you ask.

You have lots on your plate, and maybe you've been successful despite your health situation and you have more support in order for you to do so..etc.

Hope this doesn't totally hinder your friendship, for honesty is really one way to get it aired out.

Sometimes people feel always in the supportive role and those who are being supported neglect to see the important signs that they're never seen in the light of needing support as well.

Keep us posted as to how it goes.

Just as an aside....we all use our health in a way to let others know we need to slow down or change our schedules in order to take the breather we need to cope and feel better. It's not something we can schedule, but once our bodies tell us we've overdone, we may not have any choice but to listen.

*Heather* Status: flaring...Asacol 3 twice daily; Salofalk enemas nightly
~diagnosed January 1989 UC (proctosigmoiditis)
~UC meds: Asacol (3 @ 2x daily); Salofalk enemas nightly for flares & taper to maintenance 
~Bentylol (dicyclomine) 20mg as needed; Ranitidine (reflux);  Effexor XR 75mg(depression);  Pulmicort/Airomir (asthma) 
~vitamins/minerals/supplementsProbiotics....(RenewLife Ultimate Flora Critical Care + Primadophilus Reuteri). @ bedtime
~various digestive enzymes as needed
~URSO for PSC (or PBC) 500mg X 2 daily (LFTs back to NORMAL!!)
My doc's logic.. "TREAT (FROM)BOTH ENDS"  worth it !!!

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