I haven't visited here in some time due to my crazy schedule. Life is hectic right now. Hectic usually equals stress. Yeah, y'all know what this all adds up to. After years virtually symptom free or at least with very tolerable symptoms, I'm officially out of remission. If you've read this far I feel obligated to offer you a heads up, frustrated whining incoming! Yep, gunna be a long read.
My family/friends are amazingly supportive and I love them for that. I am blessed to have them. Though it is a bitter sweet fact, I find comfort complaining to those that understand. I'm sorry that y'all understand, I really am. I can't complain to them, don't want em to worry. Don't wanna be treated like a sick young adult. My thoughts may become a jumbled mess of emotion, do forgive me.
I have quit my third job upon request from my doctor and family. They know that if I can get out of bed, I will go to work and bust my rump to do my best. Why the hell am I drawn to jobs that are physically straining?
-Dental radiology. Put me in to my first flare along with a year of physical therapy for my legs, knees, feet and back.
-Gymnastics instructor. Dunno how I ended up with pleurisy but I was told I couldn't lift more than 3lbs for quite some time. Half my students were 14 year old boys and girls bigger than me as I'm petite.
-Waitressing. 8 hours, no breaks. 'Nuff said.
I hate, hate, hate when my body tells me I can no longer do something I enjoy. I'm a quarter of a century and I can hardly keep up with my mother (whose health isn't all that great either, bless her).
Nausea, all day all night. I wish I'd just vomit and be done with the upset tummy.
My appetite is shot. I'm hungry all the time yet the thought/smell/sight of food turns my stomach. When I do eat, I'm in the bathroom immediately afterwords for hours. I have a stress ball on the counter nearest the toilet. Gah. I would rather have ten paper cuts, twenty splinters and stubbed toes than go through that multiple times a day, every day.
Fatigue. Oh gods, the fatigue! I've been hyper active since I was knee high, being tired is a killer for me. I'm *always* yawning. I've never been much of a napper, always been a night owl. I could rise early and stay up til sun rise with no problem, except when I'm not in remission.
My hands and feet have been going numb. Often while sleeping but also while awake. When I get the feeling back in them, it's painful. So painful. When the pain is tolerable enough for me to sleep, I'm woken by my numb/painful hands/feet. The night sweats are a bummer, too.
New symptom, hot off the presses! Just started today! The skin on my legs are horribly sensitive. If the material of my clothing rubs softly against my legs, it stings. Weird, eh? *shrugs* I don't get it either. Guess I'll be asking the doc about circulation problems next.
Virtigo. Combination of the eight hundred different meds I'm on. Maybe it's the Texas sun. (Texans understand that summer hasn't even started yet) Dunno the cause of it but holy crap is it ever disorienting. Lightheadedness, extreme dizzy spells that intensify the nausea. Fun stuff.
Migraines. Been a sufferer of chronic migraines since before the dx but crying from all the pain seems to make them more frequent.
Chest pains, difficulty breathing. Just introduced my anti social cats to the new dog. That in itself is a headache. Bone spurs. Arthritis.
I just wanna sleep and eat! I'm so hungry. :(
However, I'm not stuck in bed. I still have a smile on my face most of the time. I get to catch up on some books I've been meaning to read. And yes, though times are hard, a little time off work will be nice, as soon as I remind myself to enjoy the unwanted vacation!
Comics help. I can't resist a good laugh. Silly, clean humor tickles me and really helps my foul moods, even if it hurts to laugh sometimes. Yeah, getting the furry family members acclimated will be rough, but darn is it ever hilarious. (Until someone gets an eye scratched out, let's hope we all survive!) The friendly neighbor girl is my age and has similar health issues and a great attitude.
This bites and it bites hard. But life is good. The roads gettin bumpy once again but, I know what to expect and I knew the next flare would throw new symptoms at me. I'm prepared this time. And I have something I didn't have during the first flare.
Thanks for reading. Hope you all have a great day and for those that don't... *hug*
-Ruptured ovarian cyst 7/4/2003 hospitalized for 3 days
Dx Endometriosis 11/10/2003 hospitalized for 3 days
-Ulcerative Colitis Dx 10/2005
-Pleurisy Dx 12/26/2007
-1st and only UC flare Jan-Mar 2006
1.2gm Lialda 3 daily, 100mg Zoloft, 110mcg Fluticasone, Proventil, Vit. B12 complex, 400mcg Folic Acid, 400iu Vit. E, 1000mg Vit. C, 800iu Vit. A, 454gm Hydrocerin.