Dealing with friends when you have a chronic disease

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 1373
   Posted 8/26/2009 1:06 AM (GMT -6)   
It's funny how when you are going through a difficult time healthwise, and having to take medications that make your personalty different and make you feel weird for months.. Friends you thought were SO close to you explaination.. no nothing.. they just dissapear....
  I have actually had that happen to me this time since being on Prednisone... I guess it made me too talkative or something.. I don't even know for sure as my closest friend (or who I THOUGHT was my closest friend) has just blown me off.. .She won't return my calls, say hello to me... nothing...  it's like we don't even know each other and she's my next door neighbor... (Well right across the road as we live in the stix)... 
  I've left a couple of messages with no return calls, but can hear her outside at times and it makes me sad that we're not talking anymore...  and I have NO IDEA WHY.... I'm just blaming it on the meds and being sick..... None of our other mutual friends have a clue as to why she's acting that way, or their just not saying anything either..
   Weirdest I've ever felt...  besides being sick.....
Diagnosed with U/C  (Proctitis) January 31st, 2005, IBS on July 21st, 2006 
  Status as of July 2009 :  OMG... I had a poopie today 7-23-09 (had to date that) with NO BLOOD!!! First time in almost 10 months!!!!!!!
Meds are: Prednisone Taper, down to 25mg now for a week as of 8/20/09..., Apriso 4 pills 1x a day.. .YEA! I take Xanax when needed and Ambien for sleep... Nexium in the am for heartburn due to Prednisone..   Culturelle 2 times a day...                                             

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 8/26/2009 1:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Do you really care? What is more important? Your health or your friendship? I think, in today's era, we need to redefine friendship. If I have some genuine problem and others (friends/families) fail to understand/acknowledge it then I don't need to be around them. They are just not for me. I have accepted it and moved on. Its a great relief.
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis since 2006, at the age of 30 years

Currently taking
100mg of Azathiprine, twice a day
2250mg of Balsalazide Hydrochloride, 3X a day
10mg of Vit. B12, once a day
500mg Salazopyrine suppository once a day.

30mg/day of Prednisolone since 2009/08/21 to control recent flare up, will reduce the dose by 5mg each week. (hoping not to swell up)

Elite Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 30225
   Posted 8/26/2009 1:52 AM (GMT -6)   
seems it might be too much for her to be involved with? being sick and possibly your personal life situation? Was she in support of you and hubby separating or staying together?

It sounds like it's more than just not wanting to be your friend and that it's the combination of stuff that's involved.

not all friends have the ability to be friends when the going gets tougher.

Worse is that she's your neighbour....meaning she'll always be the reminder.

It's very rude, however, for her to not return your calls or at least to have a proper severance of the relationship.

Anything seem it could be possible?...or am I totally in left-field. idea
Oh, is she going through something herself where you may have been perceived as being not a good friend to her?

I know it hurts.

Keep us posted if there's any change.

*Heather* Status: ...Asacol 3 twice daily; Salofalk enemas every 3rd night
~diagnosed January 1989 UC (proctosigmoiditis)
~UC meds: Asacol (3 @ 2x daily); Salofalk enemas nightly for flares & taper to maintenance 
~Bentylol (dicyclomine) 20mg as needed; Ranitidine (reflux);  Effexor XR 75mg(depression);  Pulmicort/Airomir (asthma) 
~vitamins/minerals/supplementsProbiotics....(RenewLife Ultimate Flora Critical Care + Primadophilus Reuteri). @ bedtime
~various digestive enzymes as needed
~URSO for PSC (or PBC) 500mg X 2 daily (LFTs back to NORMAL!!)
My doc's logic.. "TREAT (FROM)BOTH ENDS"  worth it !!!

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 217
   Posted 8/26/2009 2:02 AM (GMT -6)   

i had a similar thing happen to me as well.  i live in the "stix" like you.  my friend/neighbor kind of avoided me when i got sick and was on pred.  i swell up really badly and don't look like myself.  i think it freaked him out and he avoided me.  i just let it go.  i agree with mindstyle.  your heallth is more important, and if someone can't/won't understand and is ignorant to you, who needs them!!!  their loss!  hang in there - i know it makes you feel badly, but do you really want such a fickle friend?!


UC since 1994
4 Lialda/day, 15 mg prednisone and tapering (down from 40 mg), rowasa, folic acid, VSL#3, flax oil, vegetarian diet

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 8/26/2009 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I have kind of been the opposite. I find myself so exhausted most of the time that I haven't reached out to any of my friends. My boyfriend and family have stuck by me and kind of muscled their way into my life and kept me connected, but the rest of my social contacts (already a small circle) have kind of fallen away. I don't really miss them... I'm too focused on trying to feel human.
39 year old woman
Diagnosed October 2008

location: Vancouver, BC

Current meds: 35 mg Prednisone (tapering... again!), 150 mg Imuran, Tramacet as needed for pain. First Remicade infusion April 6/09.

Failed meds: Asacol, Pentasa

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 312
   Posted 8/26/2009 1:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Ive found myself in similar situations. I used to not tell friends about my UC but after a year of "I need to use the restroom. must've ate something bad earlier" everytime we go out, I caved in and told most of them and some of them still dont care/mind while others just blow me off like I have a contagious disease. Just goes to show you who your real friends are.
Male 29yrs old Bay Area, California

Currently taking:
Prednisone - 30mg
Asacol - 4800mg
Imuran - 100mg

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 173
   Posted 8/26/2009 3:05 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been so lucky to have my friends stick with me and show genuine interest and offer support while I am sick. I knew I had nice friends, but wow, they can really shine if you let them. Me having this most recent UC flare has brought all of us together even more.
What I am trying to say is that maybe this 'friend' wasn't really for you after all. Some people are friends of convenience and don't stand up to the stress test. No harm in letting that relationship just fall away, as long as you can accept that it is not you, not her, just the way it is with both of you. Time to put those efforts into cultivating a different relationship.
Good luck.
UC since 1996 (age 20)
Mommy of 2 sweet little girls.

Asacol (12/day)
Azathioprine (175 mg)
Prednisone (60 mg)
Rowasa nightly
Immodium daily
First Remicade 6/22/09 [discontinued 8/12/09, not helping]

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