I feel for you Kate22. I am very fortunate in that my family and friends are amazing in their support, knowledge, understanding, compassion and sympathy in relation to UC. With that being said, I truly believe that they are this way because they are educated, not just about
UC, but in general. In my experience, anytime I have had a negative reaction from someone, it has been an individual who lacks knowledge and in a broad sense, education. Compassion is a deep awareness of the suffering of another, coupled with the wish to relieve it. Not being aware of your feelings, wishes, and your overall well-being is selfish and ignorant on their part.
I made a decision when I was diagnosed. If I tell someone about my UC and they don't "get it" or they are uncomfortable or "grossed out", I no longer have anything to do with them. If it's a family member, so be it. I will still associate with them at family functions, but they will never receive the whole "me" again. My relationship becomes superficial with them. If one of my friends or family discussed my health with someone, I would let them have it with both barrels. How would they like it if I broadcast their private issues out in public? I am a very outspoken, strong, smart woman and I refuse to allow someone treat me in a way that I would never treat them.
I have even gone as far as emailing links to webpages for my friends or family so that they can get a better understanding of UC and everything that goes with it. Have you tried that? And then, if they still don't get it, kick them to the curb! I know it's easier said than done and I don't know your situation.....Can you make a new circle of friends? Can you distance yourself from your family? At least until they understand that you will not tolerate the way they have been treating you?
Another thing that may help you is to become email friends with someone from here. I did with an individual from California and I have found that the emails are more personal and it has helped us both tremendously. The forum is wonderful for advice and information but I was looking for a more personal connection. Perhaps that would help?
A true friend is not defined by what they say. A true friend is defined by what they keep to themselves.