I COMPLETELY understand how you feel. I think about this a LOT. I am 28 and was diagnosed when I was 18, and I'll answer your college question first.
I lived in a dorm for the first year of college, but found it just too difficult. I was flaring and just didn't feel comfortable being so sick around my roommates (4 of us shared a bathroom). I was lucky that I went to school only 20 minutes from home, so I moved home for the rest of school and spent my housing money to buy a car to commute. I was much happier, healthier, and really enjoyed college. I did take 5 years instead of 4, but I double majored and worked as well. It really is up to you and what makes you feel most comfortable.
As for the dating issue, I don't really have many words of comfort, except that I feel like I'm in the same boat as you are. I have never dated much, and honestly I could have written what you said about "feeling bad" about dating someone. I feel like I have to rope them in and then drop the bomb, because if they knew from the get-go what they were getting into, no one would ever give me a chance. I don't want to sentence someone to the life that I live. I hate having to depend on other people and I hate holding people back. At the same time, I am so lonely and it is so hard to be sick without a support system. Some days it is just so hard to accomplish normal tasks and how nice it would be just to have someone to cuddle with me or make me a meal becuase I don't feel well enough. At the same time, there are SO MANY times where I don't feel well enough to even function, and I'd hate to have to tell my boyfriend that I didn't feel well enough to go out/travel/talk/stay up/have sex/run errands/etc. I just hate disappointing people. I have tried hard to tell myself that I can be happy and can manage the rest of my life by myself, but it's a tricky thing. I don't want to be lonely forever. But I feel like this disease makes me a flawed person--I feel like the person I'd be with would deserve better.
You can message me if you want...I truly understand where you're coming from.
28 Year old Female
Diagnosed with Crohn's Colitis March 2000
Recent possible diagnosis of IBS-D
Tried Meds: Asacol, Remicade, 6mp, Humira, Xifaxan, Apriso, Rowasa Enemas.
Currently on: 25mg Prednisone (Tapering SLOWLY from 60), 100mg Imuran, Psyllium Seed Powder, Prenatal Vitamin, Vitamin B 12 Complex, Vitamin D/Calcium, Flomax (for urinary retention).