I lost my maternal grandmother and my dad in the same year. They both were hit by vehicles while walking outside. Neither were in contact with the other. It was also in the early 2000s, possibly 2001 or 2002. It was a bad year for me. Yours sounds worse.
Colitis is in remission. No longer get IBS.
Figuring out how to reduce a flare or get into remission is a trial and error experience. Don't expect your GI to have all the answers. He was trained in making diagnoses, prescribing medications, and surgically removing the colon. He was not trained in alternative treatments. That's why they are called alternative treatments.
What works for me: Fecal transplantation, Probiotics, Anti-inflammatory foods, No HFCS, No crystalline fructose, No foods high in fructose, No artificial sweeteners, No pro-inflammatory foods when flaring, vitamins & supplements, Lexapro (for stress).