I am improving in regards to my UC symptoms through a lot of self care and time spent learning and applying a holistic approach to this ailment. I am however, never completely stable with my moods. I've been doing 30 minutes per day of meditation for the last few weeks, and I only feel that it has helped smooth out my moods on certain days.
I'm 26, and have dealt with UC since I was 18. I try my best not to let it dictate who I am, but in all honesty I am certain that it has redirected my life in a major way. I sort of feel as though the time when I would have been experimenting with life choices and relationships in my late teens and early twenties was instead spent learning how to take care of myself properly, as well as create a life that would support me in my varied states of health. I now have a home paid for, a good income, and life experience. BUT, I'm really inexperienced in relationships... and I can't for the life of me figure out how I want to spend my life. On some days I feel extremely healthy and thus feel happy with things. On these days I am an unstoppable force; happy, confident, and ready to take on anything. Then I experience more of a down... where I'm lethargic and very unfocused. On these days I feel very uninterested in dating, and question myself profusely on what I'm doing with my life.
It seems like it's always there, good days and then bad days. Without the steadiness of good days I'm finding it hard to put together a long term stability in my life in regards to bringing in passions/purpose as well as a relationship. To me the two go hand-in-hand, as I would like to have a good idea of the direction in life that would fulfill me before I bring a woman into it seriously.
I would really love to be in a great relationship, but I'm starting to wonder if I have a problem that needs taken care of first. I've been to a therapist twice since developing UC, and am not afraid to seek help for any problem. The times I went though, I felt very mentally unstable due to prednisone. Take me off the prednisone and I level out quite a bit. Even then, the therapist didn't think I had a mental problem... and I was very
my thoughts and situation in life.
I just feel very blah about
things, even though I have a lot to be thankful for. I think part of it is just my age. I don't know if I want to have a family or not, and am not sure what kind of pursuit in my life I would be happy with when I'm old and look back on things. It feels scary to just let that decision ride, without deciding anything... because it feels like I'm just wasting my time until I have that answer, and that time is moving right along with or without me.
Anyone have any other thoughts on my situation... or experienced something like this in your own life?
Also, does anyone know if active inflammation of the colon messes with the neurotransmitters that are located there. From what I understand, the Colon has the most neurotransmitters of any part of the body, brain included. Could it be that the inflammation and slight ulceration is damaging the effectiveness of my mood balancing systems?
And last but not least... can anyone help me understand women?? JK! I'll figure that part out eventually... but a more constant good mood would help!
PS, just in case it matters... I am trying to eat healthy and lift weights regularly. Also, some of the moodiness could come from the fact that my income is from a business my dad and I own, that usually is lucrative... but never predictable and almost constantly stressing to some degree. I can't yet give up the freedom/flexibility it provides me though.
26 year old male.
Left sided UC since 2003, moderate in severity
Working on a full approach to health this year, including anything that works.
-Taking probiotics, L-glutamine, antioxidants, vitamins
-Back to taking 4g pentasa/day, though I doubt it's effectiveness.
Post Edited (Thoreau) : 2/15/2011 5:17:09 PM (GMT-7)