Welcome. Your anxiety is understood here
#1 Yes. Most people take Immodium for D but you say that causes you problems so consider using Lomotil which is an Rx, could make you drowsy however.
Also helpful for muscle spasms is dicyclomine (brand name Bentyl), it is also an Rx but very cheap.
As far as slowing the gut down these help but UC'ers with multiple BM's are having them because of major inflammation and these will only stop things temporarily. You really need to get your inflammation down not just mask it.
skipping #2 for now
#3 Yes I have done hypnotherapy and liked it. Hypnosis is very helpful for anxiety but it didn't stop the urgency or D or BM's, that is a physical injury, like trying to fix a broken limb with hypno. IMO that level of mind control would be over the top. It has been very beneficial in other areas however.
When my D was constant and I was faced with something I had to do with no excuses I ate some cheese because it stops everything in my gut. Even now I can't have a small bit of hard cheese without becoming constipated, just the way my gut is. I do not
recommend getting constipated for 5 days, you could be putting yourself in danger. If it were me I'd be totally honest with Mr. New Guy and tell him the truth, now, not later. Honesty will be the best policy and you won't have to go through hell, it's not worth it.
In remission April 2010 after 10 years of UC with no remission ever
Jan 2010 began SpecCarbDiet (modified to remove dairy, fruit & juices,)
Gluten-free=bleeding stopped in 3 days, 95% remission in 5.5 months on SCD
SCDiet: Gluten/grain-free, starch-free, low carb, honey as sweetener
(9)Balsalazide+(6)Citrucel, mesalamine enema as needed
Spinach & sunflower seeds daily, (1) VSL#3 nightly