Captain Ca-Ca: As promised, we are particularly pleased to have with us today a gastroenterologist of considerable reputation, Dr. Ernst Hoess, of the Stuttgart Bowel Institute. Good afternoon, Dr. Hoess.
Dr. Hoess: Good afternoon, Captain.
Captain Ca-Ca: Dr. Hoess, in recent weeks you have come under some rather withering criticism for your claim of there being a possible link between ulcerative colitis and rectal optitis. Can you explain this connection?
Dr. Hoess: Ja, of course. But let me say from zee outset zat za critics are fools.
Captain Ca-Ca: And why so, sir?
Dr. Hoess: Vell, rectal optitis means zat someone is suffering from a poopy outlook. Und any surd grader knows that peoples vis ulcerative colitis have poopy outlooks. I mean, you don't to have a Phd to figure zat von out, eh?
Captain Ca-Ca: Yes, I would think not, Doctor. But there has also been some suspicion of your suggestion that childhood anal smearing tendencies are a kind of early form of ulcerative colitis. Can you elaborate?
Dr. Hoess: Ja. In zis case, vee haf little children taking ca-ca und smearing it on za wall. Zay do zis because mommy pushes too hard on za toilet training. Vis ulcerative colitis zere is just lots of ca-ca, in za pants, in za toilet, on za floor, everywhere. Face it, zese people are pissed off!
Captain Ca-Ca: Yes, I see Dr. Hoess. Now, since you have indicated a willingness to take questions from the forum, I'll turn the questioning over to our members, then.
Post Edited (Captain Ca-Ca) : 2/1/2012 2:19:47 PM (GMT-7)