Why don't you give slippery elm a try?
A couple tsp mixed in juice or water before bed is what helped me get rid of the urgency.
When I first started taking it, I also mixed in some probiotics.
Still took the probiotics in the morning as well.
Agree that having pads or Depends type products helps with the "psychological" factor.
I don't eat "plane" food. Take my own snacks. Can do the same at the park to avoid eating preservatives, etc.
I would avoid lactose and gluten for a while before you go to see what happens.
Thing is...if you have to go, don't be shy about
making your needs known.... whatever the circumstances.
It took me a long time to get over the reluctance to assert myself. Once I did it, I realized that it's no big deal.
Hope you have a wonderful time.