It was impossible for me to date during my flare -- for one thing I wore adult diapers and still failed to make it to the bathroom quite frequently, and for another my diet was so limited that I couldn't go out to a restaurant ever. Also quite frankly I was so sick and tired that I couldn't have left the house for a date even if I had one.
After I got my ostomy I was so relieved to be out of diapers, eating again, and able to leave the house that I did start to date again. Now, despite all those positives, I still have a bag of poop attached to my side. It has to be emptied five or six times a day and if it's almost due for an empty my boyfriend can feel it when he hugs me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that people can and will surprise you with what they're willing to put up with. I used to think no one would ever date me because I wasn't a supermodel -- turns out people will date me with the way I look and my personality AND a bag of poop attached to my side.
I understand it's really hard to get out there and do anything "extra" on top of your job when you're sick and fatigued, and no one is saying you have to. But if you want
a girlfriend, I guarantee you there is a woman out there who will like you and who won't care that you have to sit on the toilet for an hour in the morning. I find people respond best to this if you are confident and unapologetic. Instead of saying "I'm sorry, this is so gross, but you see I have this disease so I have to sit on the toilet for an hour just to have a hope of making it through the day... ugh..." you say something like, "I just want you to know, I have a disease called ulcerative colitis, have you heard of it? [they probably say no] Well we don't have to get into details, but it affects my digestion, so I need some extra time in the bathroom in the mornings, and once in a while I feel sick and have to deal with it." That's pretty much it. Besides, you don't really have to reveal your morning routine until you have a woman ready to spend the night at your place, and by then you're already "in"
dx'ed UC pancolitis 5/12
past meds: asacol hd, VSL#3, apriso, rowasa, xifaxan, 6mp, cortifoam, pentasa, cimzia, canasa, butyrate, flagyl, cipro, prednisone, remicade, methotrexate, cholestyramine, cortenema
current meds: none!
step one: colectomy, end ileo 1/16/13
step two: j-pouch construction, loop ileo 5/1/13
step three: takedown 7/31/13