I would be shocked if you weren't distressed and crappy. You have a ton of stuff to deal with, both physically and emotionally...that will take a toll on you mentally and behaviourally.
What you can say to your fiancé is to preface all your statements with "I'm sorry to sound so crabby, I really am excited to hear your news...etc".
Being 60 isn't old, but in truth...the body and mind take a toll more quickly than when younger. Recovery isn't as fast, and the apathy to the world is pretty much normal. He's lived a life where much hasn't changed...as a matter of fact, it's getting worse. Plus, we hear everything immediately with repetition and bias...there's no break from it. Plus, his son is suffering....
I do hope he gets more answers. Good sleep is so necessary, hopefully, he can get recommendations to specialists who can help him.
I have no answers for you except to say....this will be a difficult time for you because it requires you to make decisions. You can change your perspective on what your needs are, but that will require you to have more options for choice.
Make some choices for the now and maybe over the next year. You're on medications that will hopefully help deal with your infection. If you think Remi is responsible for some of your issues, maybe try Humira.
Hopefully it'll buy you some time until some of the major things are resolved and you'll be married.
Truly...hang tough. Unfortunately, this is life for most of us. Coping for some comes easily, for some it doesn't.
I would, however, suggest you and your fiancé to have some counselling so that communication strategies can be learned and you can support each other in a better and efficient way. You're very empathetic, and you'll learn how to compartmentalise feelings so that you can live more in the moment.
Q, thank you for this message. Seriously. It was really meaningful to me.
Last night after making this post I spent some time cooling down. I then wrote my fiance an email since she loves to get them from me as she wakes up early in the morning. My subject line was "Sorry For Being A Crabass". As I started writing it I learned a few things about
why I'm upset. The issue is that my work is stressful, and I don't have the time to deal with it like I used to. When I was single I would go to the library and read books that lifted me up, gave me energy and spirit to bring positive results into my life. I noticed that between my home-work and spending time with her that I am not taking care of myself like I used to. I told her this, in a way where it wasn't a criticism at all. I said I was sorry if I had made her night worse, and that I will always try to make our relationship top priority. I told her that what she can do for me is to believe in me instead of always responding so rationally by saying she doesn't know enough about
my work to know what will happen. I told her I just really need her to be behind me.
I agree that for me to make decisions I will need more options in my life. I am trying to get the home sold, which will be a great relief. Then I'll make the best of my work while focusing on rebuilding my strengths and planning a life with my fiance. Once I'm settled in to life here in the next year I will have a better foundation in which to make decisions for my future. I will have options, and I'll weigh them out considering what's most important to me.
Anyways, I really appreciate the support you gave me in this post. Thank you.