Has there been a silver lining to your colitis?

I dealt with a heartbreaking recovery process from an eating disorder and severe OCD and to feel like my life was finally back on track was an amazing feeling...and then to feel like that feeling was violently taken away from me with the UC diagnosis almost drove me to suicide.

But through it, I learned that life didn't have to end with a UC diagnosis, and I have used this as another stepping stone for accepting uncertainty into my life, which has been a huge part of recovering from my mental disorders.

I'm glad I can actually take away something positive from the situation instead of taking my own life, but I totally respect the fact that this disease is brutal and can be unrelenting. I do not blame those who feel negatively about the experience at all. This is a pretty horrible disease and I'm not saying I'm 100% happy either, but it's nice to have a chance to express something grateful through all of it.

I'm flaring right now, and I was becoming bitter and depressed about it, but decided to keep on devoting myself to maintaining my mental health instead of letting the disease erase all progress I've made. The physical pain and many trips to the bathroom definitely suck, but I feel much more at ease with the whole thing, and much more accepting of uncertainty despite the fact that my symptoms are on the rise.

I'm not one for trying to cover up the ugliness of life with sunshine and rainbows and happy positive thoughts, but I am about not becoming completely bitter and cynical about life (not calling anyone out, just saying), and once in a while recognizing some of the good things can help with that.

The disease is definitely dreadful and I absolutely feel for all of you struggling to get it under control!

lol soy. I both salute and pause in a moment of silence in remembrance of the many pairs of my underwear that were not just stained but rather lost/unsaveable since I first acquired uc.

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Moderator ulcerative colitis
M, 35, proctosigmoiditis
Rx: Remicade 5mg per kg, every 8 weeks
Daily 75mg 6MP + Rowasa (twice a week)
Diet: Diet mods and supplements haven't done a thing for me

Post Edited (iPoop) : 9/15/2014 12:09:53 PM (GMT-6)

iPoop said...
Perhaps it is the first sprint of living with chronic illness that is easy for some but soon you realize it turns into a marathon that goes on for the rest of your life... lol I used to be quite optimistic person at 1st but uc has been wearing on me a lot over time and whittling that away. If uc has improved me in anyway I am not sure what it is, I was a pretty good person before, and I don't think I had much I needed to change....

This, a thousand times over. It's what I'm having serious trouble dealing with right now: I don't know how to deal with it to be honest. I'm just worn out. It has been an incredibly gruelling 9 years for me (was diagnosed in 2000, but things didn't really go down the pan until 2005), and I just want it to be over.

In case any newbie sh!ts their pants reading this, I would like to add that this board is home to many of the more severe and intractable cases, and it doesn't necessarily mean your own case will follow suit. Most people do have periods of remissions; the luckier ones are in remission most of the time (like my brother... ¬_¬).

Baggravation said...
ww, shucks.

More of that please :p

I eat healthier, especially going gluten free.

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Clinical remission. Diagnosed Ulcerative Colitis (pancolitis) 9/09. Two more flares since. Taking Lialda 4.8g. Rowasa enemas every other night, when flaring nightly and Canasa daily. Calcium/mag slow release/vitamin D. No gluten, alcohol. green/fruit smoothies. Low dose femhrt. Mood instability: lamictal 200 mg., Zyprexa 7.5 mg. Insomnia: ambien 2.5 mg, Depression: Brintellix 20 mg.

Hey guys, I really didn't think this thread would be viewed with such negativity by some, and I'm sorry that it has been. It was naivety on my part.

If I were to more appropriately express my feelings towards the disease, I'm sure I'd be banned from the forum for the amount of foul language I used! I am so sick of taking 14 tablets every single day, of being able to eat only certain foods, of the embarassment of having lost control of my bowels at various times, of getting so infuriated with my parents because they will not stop asking me how I am etc. I swear a lot of people seem to be expecting me to relapse any day now and it pisses me off more than I can say.

I just need to be able to salvage something from all of this. I NEED to believe there's some sort of upside. Without that, I'm going to lose my mind.

I'm glad some of you like Baggravation have gotten something out of this.

Post Edited (Blue Badger) : 9/15/2014 3:24:29 PM (GMT-6)

This disease makes me want to kill myself, to remove myself from the gene pool. There has been no silver lining for me, just eternal suffering. What silver lining could be from neverending pain and feeling like you have to go but you strain for hours and yet nothing comes out? I hate that symptom the most, the tenesmus and rectal feeling. I hate how the medications all come with terrible side effects, like Cushing syndrome, cancer or diabetes/arthritis.

I guess the only thing positive about this was that I now constantly question and research everything doctors prescribe, then decide for myself if I should take it, since I got UC after taking Accutane.

Post Edited (fightUC) : 9/15/2014 3:36:39 PM (GMT-6)

Getting a little questionable here with all of these wanna kill myself posts.

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Moderator ulcerative colitis
M, 35, proctosigmoiditis
Rx: Remicade 5mg per kg, every 8 weeks
Daily 75mg 6MP + Rowasa (twice a week)
Diet: Diet mods and supplements haven't done a thing for me

Most of the responses weren't actually negative, though.

I understand (having been there) needing to find something positive in the whole experience.

UC hasn't made been a net plus for me. It may have given me a few small gifts, but the pain and inconvenience have outweighed them.

All in all, I'd rather not have it. I do have it, so I just make the best of it. Sitting around feeling sorry for myself wouldn't make me better, it would only make me alone as people ran to get away from the negativity.

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Thyroid forum moderator

Ulcerative colitis since 2001, starting 8th year of remission with Remicade.
Inflammatory osteoarthritis; osteonecrosis from steroids
Grave's disease treated with radioactive iodine and now on Levothyroxine.
Type II diabetes induced by steroids.
Charcot foot deformity
Eczema, darn it!

"It's always something." ~ Rosanne Rosannadanna