Psychological help

Can I ask why you’re against medication? Anxiety and depression are like a non stop hamster wheel. They self perpetuate the longer they go on and sometimes medication can help you break their cycle. For me the difference was realizing that anxiety and depression are not “mental” disease in that they are all in your head. It’s a biological disease and IBD disease definitely contribute and add to it. We have to take meds for our gut diseases and it’s the same for anxiety and depression. I always felt there was something wrong with me if I had to take a depression or anxiety med — that I wasn’t strong enough to just get over it. But that’s not true. As I’m sure you’ve discovered you can’t just will it away.

Ok. So besides medications there are 2 other self help tools that have really helped me. One is CBT therapy and there are a ton of books on the market. I used to be very negative and pessimistic but thru cbt I learned how to consciously change my thinking. I did that part on my own by reading a book. I looked on amazon and they have a lot of books and workbooks that you should give a try.

Also try exercise. I find that when I feel depressed I don’t want to do anything but the more I sit the worse I feel. I have to force myself to get up and go outside for a walk but I always feel better and more energetic when I’m done

All that said is there a low cost option in your area? A teaching hospital? A church counselor? What about online? A support forum? I’ve seen some ads for apps or websites. I know nothing about them tho.

Good luck. I know it’s hard and overwhelming. Small steps and hard work!

I had a great psychologist & was also on medication. I had never been to one before & had no idea what to expect. It took a couple of visits to relax a bit. I was fortunate, she had a teen with a chronic illness & she could relate. My insurance paid for me to see her. If you have bad anxiety, talk therapy will not have much effect, you need to learn other coping skills.

I am going to guess you have no insurance coverage. I would look for someone that has a sliding fee schedule if you have no insurance. Free clinics are few & far in between & have long waiting lists.

I hope you can find some help.

I agree with Flowersgal and NSSG. I fought medication for a long time and last year had to cancel a trip to Italy the day of due to a flare. I nearly had a nervous breakdown and after c diff and flares off and on for a few years I had bad PTSD. Last November I finally agreed to try Lexapro (more for my family than for me) and it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done. It has helped the IBS tremendously which in turn calms me down. I went to Italy for 3 weeks this past May. I tried many months of therapy with a great psychologist but I would not have overcome the anxiety without the Lexapro. Therapy helped but there’s something about IBD/probably mind gut connection that’s hard to overcome. You are not alone!

::climbs up on my soapbox:: this discussion brings up a sore point for me. I would so like to erase the term “mental illness” from our vocabulary. Because “mental” automatically makes you think of the mind. So subliminally saying it’s all in the mind. It’s such a negative connotation to me — in that we should be able to just will it away but since we can’t we must be weak mentally. It’s just not true.

This is a brain disease in the chemicals and wiring in our brains. I do believe that relearning techniques to alter our thinking help a lot but for me the biggest help has been a medication to help in getting over the hump.
::climbs down:: 😀

not answering your question, just asking one ------------ do you have any kind of family support system ? and I also am a big advocate for exercise - do you have access to a safe walking place - do you have an animal shelter that needs dog walkers ?

I know it's hard sometimes to do ANYTHING besides just survive - I think most of us have been there - wish I had something more to offer other than saying " hang in there "

<Actually, self-help books just made me worse because they are too simplistic >

I agree that most are but I encourage you to give CBT a try. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you be more aware of thoughts and how harmful “all or nothing” thoughts can be. It’s hard work.

As an example you write down a negative thought such as “I’ll have another flare and need to have my colon removed”. Then you list all the answers if that was a true statement. Like you would be miserable for the rest of your life. Then for each of those you list a counter argument such as well lots of people learn to live without a colon and are content with their lives.

That’s simplistic example. But every day you would list all your bad or negative fears or thoughts and then what if arguments or answers in favor of and against that statement. Eventually you learn to recognize all these thoughts as they’re happening because most of the time we’re unaware of them and their effects.

I found it really helpful.

It was years ago (maybe 30 years?) so there a lots more books and workbooks out now. But the one I used was “feeling good” by David burns. Not sure if it’s been updated since then. At the time it was a fairly new technique but since has become a widely used tool by therapists. Hence more books. I imagine they’re all pretty good but I haven’t checked them out

There are a lot of good guided meditations on YouTube specifically for C-PTSD. I would check them out. And I would up your exercise to every day. Therapy was never helpful for me. Meditation and exercise are though.

Mark....CBT takes a long while. It allows, through learning process of onself, to have alternate options of what to think instead of a mindset of automatic perceived expectations and scenarios.
I suggest you trying it again or seeking info, workbooks, online connections and see if it makes more sense in the situation you're in at this time.

The part that sucks about it is the realisation of self, responsibility for out thoughts, reactions, behaviour and reactions. There is a loss of freedom during unlearning those automic thoughts, reactions, etc while gaining decision making options. Confusion happens much of the time once the awareness becomes part of it.

Our hardwiring doesnt really change, but our awareness and allowing options within that hardwiring is what allows us more freedom of choices.

It's good you have distanced yourself from family.

q