I know it's not guaranteed...nothing in this life is
Right there. That's the one.
Three months ago I took my wife to Destin for a beach vacation after years of not doing it. I was sick as hell, but I did it anyway because a big part of me honestly believed that I might be heading down for good and I wanted to do this one last thing. In and out of the hospital twice while I was there, bleeding almost non-stop and flew back against Doctor's orders - half dead.
Today was another day up hill after surgery. The pain is almost fully gone and I'm getting more comfortable "carrying a load" so to speak. At first I was emptying the bag 20 times a day or so because... well, it's a bag of crap. With the addition to a securing belt I am getting a lot more confident in the system and I went in the bathroom today three times.
Three times. Since I woke up. And each time was less than 5 minutes.
I honestly may not let them do the next two surgeries. I think I'm good. Less than two weeks and me and this bag are buddies.
Also, I feel like I'm 20 again. I. AM. NOT. SICK.
I am a stubborn SOB. Honestly all I was looking for was another way to fight this thing. I do not want to give up a single inch in my life to this disease. And for nine years it worked. This year, the harder I fought back the worse I felt and sicker I got. I was on the ropes, then on the mat. So, I took the gamble on the surgery because nothing in this life is a guarantee but I had lost and needed a new piece on the board.
Maybe this thing turns on me, and goes bad at some point in the future. Whatever. But without the surgery, today would have sucked because every day for the six months before the surgery I was losing the fight. But with the surgery, today did not suck. Not even a little bit.
Post Edited (AndyRoark) : 10/30/2019 7:55:48 PM (GMT-6)