Posted 4/4/2020 12:27 AM (GMT -6)
The med she gave me is mirtazapine which I take in the evening around bed because it makes you sleepy. I hope it's the right thing for me.
I am really separated from my loved ones right now and it's very hard on me. I have been suicidal the past few days. Don't worry, I would never actually do it, but the thoughts and feelings are there. I never imagined in a million years that life would one day be this tough. I've only had UC for a few years, but my life is totally different now. So much lost time. The therapist I used to have told me that I have become a much wiser person with a lot more depth, because suffering does that to people. Well, I would trade all that wisdom and depth for a happy, healthy life, I tell you. No point in sugar coating it.
The one silver lining of this is I will probably be immune to corona now so I don't have to live in fear anymore. Well, unless it mutates and we have another strain. My doctor said they are expecting a second wave in the autumn, whatever that means. I am so over this corona BS already. My life was already abnormal because of UC but now it's twice as abnormal thanks to the whole world shutting down. So much for normal, hey?