Well... I did it again. I can hear that song playing in my head... Sigh.... Another encounter with the rooster and his protege.
I was sick from my weekly dose of methotrexate and had to go pick up new meds. (It was twilight outside..) I remember thinking Ahhh..at least the roosters will be bedding down and won't mess with me.
I gathered up my umbrella and super soakers, (rooster defense mechanisms), car keys, wallet... Stuffed them into my walker and out to the car I started. I Turned on the porch and spot lights, I
opened the door and 3 huge field trantulas were out there on the porch. They did not run away... They sat there looking at me - in a pattern where I could not get by. (The only things I hate more than those roosters are .....spiders... And snakes) I screamed like a little girl, the roosters cackled and flew up to the fence to watch me. (Darn..they were not bedding down and were now on full alert
,) I ran back into the house cursing like a sailor and watched the clock... The pharmacy would close soon. I Peeked out the window... Spiders still there.
opened the door and poked at the spiders... One ran up the umbrella and I dropped it outside... screaming like a banshee. I Slammed the door.... Looked at clock...
opened the door, Grabbed the broom and jabbed at the spiders again.. They ran in-between the porch boards.
By this time I have started hyperventilating. I knew they were going to climb up my legs, under my shorts and I was gonna have to moon the cows... And it's gonna be like a Broadway musical....bright lights and lots of singing, with cursing... the main performer being center stage, leaping around, doing the spider shimmy with all the freaking lights on.... I gotta say....I almost hate mooning the cows and people driving by as much as those roosters...
I grabbed the twisted umbrella, gave it a good shake and brought it inside. Then a light bulb went off. Yes, I had a plan!! I have these sticky "critter catchers" . Peel off the top and lay them down. Spiders would climb on..be stuck.. and I don't have to worry about
having to moon the cows. I grabbed 3 of them and put them on the front porch. Dashed back inside.... 35 minutes left. Peeked out the door. 1 huge field trantula put his legs on it. He's stuck!!! The other two had come out to watch the action. I
opened the door and they fled. I wheeled by the spider, out to the garage and rushed to get my script
s. I'd deal with the spiders later.
Returning home I looked at the fence for the roosters, no sign of them. Such a relief. Now I just had the spiders between me and the door. Darkness had fallen. The house, pasture and fence was still lit up. I gathered all my items and strolled towards the front porch. 2 giant spiders were on the sticky critter catchers. Suddenly there was a flurry of feathers, my super soakers are going a mile a minute.... those roosters were all over the porch.... It was a free for all. (They'd been hiding under my front porch..plotting their ambush!)
Ultimately I had to call my neighbor to come get her roosters and help me peel off those "critter catchers". Folks... Those things are sticky. Do not get them attached to your skin -especially when they have a spider on them! My only solace is knowing that those two roosters are now missing some of their tail feathers..... Of course .....that doesn't compare with me missing half my eyebrow.
So this time it was a draw. Lol.. Hope you got a chuckle....
But seriously...how long can they live to? I loathe that rooster.
Post Edited (clo2014) : 7/21/2022 11:05:43 AM (GMT-7)