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My surgeon is incompetent, lied and gaslighted me

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Posted 9/13/2022 2:11 PM (GMT -8)
I am too mad to go into it all right now but she completely made a ton of stuff up. She made up an insane story after I complained bc I was not allowed to pee afterwards and I told a nurse, the anesthesiologist and her and my boyfriend told me the surgeon told me to just "let it go" and pee in the bed! She lied and said she never said this and lied and said I said I have to poop and used PROFANITY. THIS NEVER EVER EVER HAPPENED AND MY BOYFRIEND CONFIRMED. She has told me a ton of other inaccurate horsecrap over the years too but this blatant lie about me. She also said if I had had to pee, she would have let me. My boyfriend and I told her and 2 other people. Nurse said she was getting a bedpan and never did. The doctors lies were more than just that.

She was also WRONG about my scope looking totally normal. Thank God my gi got the scope report and sent it to me so I could read it myself. It says mild erythema in both the spots I usually have it!!! We have to await biopsies but I'm so livid at this incompetent POS. I'm SO GLAD I never let her do a jpouch on me and found this out now.

I was hesitant about having her scope me when she told me she didn't know if she would be able to if I was in a mild flare because of perforation risk! She also tried to tell me I might have Crohns because she doesn't know when on meds you can have patchy inflammation and the bottom of my rectum looked fine in the office so she based it solely on that. She also has told me a lot of confusing and flat out wrong info about the anal condyloma lesions. And after the surgery, her message to me says I now have a permanent anal defect from where she cut it out. I was not warned of that prior! And I ask A LOT of questions.

Sorry, I'm mad. I can't stand being gaslighted and this is insane.
Posted 9/13/2022 4:07 PM (GMT -8)
What does she mean by "permanent anal defect"? That sounds kinda ominous.

Sorry you have to deal with that. Hopefully the surgery is healing well.
Posted 9/13/2022 4:24 PM (GMT -8)
Oh wow! This sounds awful! No wonder you are upset. Obviously, you need to have a calm and clear head before you decide on what you will do about this. Sounds like you are waiting for biopsies before anything else happens anyway. But I have the same concern as CC regarding "permanent anal defect".
Posted 9/13/2022 5:11 PM (GMT -8)
CC: I have no idea and I trust nothing she says. She told me in the office it was only 1 centimeter big and that was a few weeks ago and it has hardly grown in a year. Then she told us after (my bf was in the room and remembered, I didnt) it had suddenly grown to 2 cm (which is still small, IMO!). But her written report says she must not have been able to see the size during anoscooy in the office. How, I have no idea. She's a liar and doesn't know what she's doing. I had this surgery in 2015 with her and had way more lesions and no permanent defects. And I asked her in office if this recovery would be easier since last time I had more and she said yes, most likely. But in her message to me after surgery, she said this one would likely be worse due to the size and location. Why didn't she say that when I asked prior? Also, the after care instructions they sent me home with were for hemorrhoid surgery and said I'd need off work for 3 weeks! She told me I didn't need any time off. The instructions were entirely different than anything she told me prior or in 2015. None of it made any sense.

Honestly, I think my anus will be fine. Lol. I'm never going to her again. She also once told me none of the other surgeons in her practice do repeat surgeries for HPV because the cancer risk is so, so low. So, I never understood why she qas always telling me to get surgery. It never caused me any symptoms and it was internal...can't see or feel it...

Thank you both. Just needed to vent to people who may understand bad doctors.
Posted 9/14/2022 1:16 AM (GMT 0)
And yeah, I think it's healing fine, thanks.
Posted 9/14/2022 4:13 PM (GMT -8)
Oh Sara,

Run as far as as fast as you can. Don't let her touch you again.

I too wonder what she meant about the defect comment.

Doctor's like that totally tick me off too. You know that what she said is probably in your chart right?. I had a crazy a55 doctor that did that to me. I wrote him a letter advising him of the error and my expectations that all such inaccurate reporting would be removed from my records.

They sent me a copy of the report with the information removed. I then forwarded copies to the medical complaint board in my state. I also changed doctor's.

Then 7 years later I asked a totally different new doctors group for copies of my medical records (the was knee surgeon was moving from one firm to another and I wanted to keep him. He suggested I get copies that day so I could send to him at the new office... I have seen him 1 and am scheduled for another appointment at his new office) and lo and behold that note was in there. (No wonder that doctor looked at me so strangely during that 1 appointment.) Now I have to start all over again... And of course I didn't follow up with the medical board because I was so sick at the time. 😩😩

So I don't know if you can ever really have those comments removed.

I'm sorry your going thru this. There should be a way that patients can correct these errors.

Clo
Posted 9/14/2022 4:22 PM (GMT -8)
Thank you, clo, for the validating and kind words. I can assure you she will never, ever be touching me again. I already told her she was lying (I was mad and perhaps should have worded it better but she totally fabricated an insane lie about me, and my boyfriend, too!).

Yeah, I wondered if that would now be in my chart, too! I never even speak using profanity in that way...I would've said I have to go to the bathroom if I had to poop! The other thing that sucks is of course no one will believe me because she can say I was just coming out of sedation and don't remember (even though my boyfriend--who has UC also and paid close attention to everything she said--was right there too). It's not in the written scope report, which I had my GI send me a copy of because she didn't, but who knows.

That's crazy those comments were still in there for you! I have considered going to the medical board but I know nothing will happen anyway. I will likely call and complain to the hospital admin at least. This isn't the first time I've dealt with doctors lying to me or just treating me crappy. At least I got her saying it in writing. She first called to discuss my issues over the phone. I didn't answer.

I want to know what this anal defect thing is too but don't even trust she knows what she's talking about. And I don't even want to speak to her again. It barely even hurts today so I'm sure it'll finish healing up fine and be ok.

BTW, I forgot I can't take pain meds longer than 2 or 3 days in a row or I get a massive migraine. That happened to me in the hospital once after a lot of dilaudid. I was barely even taking any meds this time so thought it'd be ok. I was cutting hydrocodones in half and only taking 2 halves a day. Woke up this morning and had the worst migraine I've had in a long time. I even had to take another Imitrex a few hours after the first which I never have to do. Luckily, it went away after that and with an ice pack on my forehead. I think you may have said you have migraines too? Or was that Flowers?
Posted 9/14/2022 4:28 PM (GMT -8)
Do you know if your other doctors can read MyChart messages you've sent or that were sent to you from other doctors (not in the same facility)? I'm paranoid, lol.
Posted 9/14/2022 4:58 PM (GMT -8)
I just reread her message. It doesn't say permanent anal defect, it just says anal defect. So who knows. But she just wrote a note in there to her assistant (that I could see) asking her assistant to find me a new doctor for followup care (!) and telling her assistant my scope results and to "figure out how to send them to my GI." Kind of passive agressive to not even write me directly even with a summary of my results. Thank God I can pretty much decipher them myself and have my excellent GI. And it's not like I was going to ever see her again anyway but still. What a lunatic.
Posted 9/15/2022 1:23 AM (GMT -8)
Sara,

If you are using Baylor My Chart.. yes other doctors can read your messages to and from plus see all your notes in your file plus some. I go to different Baylor offices that have access to My Chart and they can all read them. (So I have to be very careful not to say negative things about my doctor's. I did say something negative about a PA and if course it's in there....) Its down right now so I am unsure who provides that messaging system for Baylor. I'll look again in the morning.

I have anal defect listed on my reports due to all the scaring and my fistula so it could be that... It showed that prior to my colostomy. But I'd check with your GI. Is she a colorectal surgeon? Are there any others there you can go to?

There are regulations in Texas about patients disputing what's in their charts and notes. It's difficult to get it changed but it can be done. I had one PA write down my dates incorrectly. It was in the "view notes," section in My Chart.... So I sent her a message. I was professional but kept it short. They changed them but now that PA causes me issues at every opportunity. I only go see my GI. I just don't trust her any longer. There are other things too... So I totally get what you are going thru with this female doctor.

On the pain meds.... Yes I too get horrible headaches if I take them consecutively for a period of days. I am able to take 1 a night and it's not too bad.... But after 5 nights I have to take a 3 day breather from the pain meds or it's a really bad headache that lasts for 5 days or so. My friend said she takes liquids and milk of magnesia when she gets those headaches and after she "empties" everything out in like 12 to 15 hours she feels better and the headache goes away at the 24 hour mark. (I think she's crazy and I have not tried it.... Although I have been thinking of it... ) But I don't think that it's gonna matter with this urologist surgeon guy. He only gives out 5 to 10 pain pills at a time. (And he did the same thing about that kidney stone.. it went from 7mm to 9mm and then back to 7. I'm so confused.)

Hang in there!!! (Hey congrats on the remission!!!! .. Don't worry too much about her -- she's not worth a flare...!!!)

Clo
Posted 9/15/2022 11:10 AM (GMT -8)
No, it's not Baylor. We must not have that here. My other doctors aren't with the same hospital network as her. I don't care anymore whatever. Yeah, she's a colorectal surgeon. An idiotic one though. She told me so much inaccurate and weird crap when I had a jpouch consult with her and she's only done, like, 5. Can't believe I ever considered having her do that. I don't care what's in my chart anymore. Who cares what anyone thinks of me. That's their problem.

The anesthesiologist told me she only gives propofol (a med that makes me suicidal and extremely depressed after it wears off at home, which I told her) and that she only gives pain meds if she sees the patient writhing in pain on the table. That sounds inhumane to me and I've never heard of that. She also told me she only gives versed to alcoholics and that THAT was likely the root of my problem after scopes. It's not. That's a freaking benzo. I take Xanax daily.

Thanks...this surgery can cause flares. Or so she said. Who knows. I flared last time but could've been a coincidence.

Sorry about your kidney stone stuff.
Posted 9/15/2022 8:11 PM (GMT -8)
Sara,

Hang in there. Sometimes the energy you expound on an idiot doctor just isn't worth it.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if they had to enter it right there in front of you and then it was locked and no one could make any changes??? LOL. I know too weird. I just can't stand to see an injustice to an IBD warrior.

Yikes on the pain med stuff. Good grief. I'm terrified of addictive pain meds ... My brother had surgery once and trying to get him off pain meds was really challenging. I still don't know if he just had a really low pain tolerance level or if he was addicted.

I had one ER doctor that wanted to give me Tylenol for an obstruction. I told him to let me kick him just once and those cramping pains that made you almost pass out still wouldn't be as bad as an obstruction. He gave me the pain meds. The next doctor on duty 4 hours later thought she'd go back to Tylenol only.... She refused me any pain meds...once every 8 hours and she refused to call my CRS. When I finally contacted him he said he could not over ride her decisions at her hospital. I yanked out my IV, called 911 for an ambulance to take me to another hospital and had my phone out recording everything. LOL. I was puking everywhere. She was suddenly willing to "negotiate" pain meds with me. (She made me sound like an addict.) They took me to my CRS's Baylor hospital and they gave me pain meds there.... And then they performed emergency surgery. My CRS was very upset. He does not believe in pain. I'm pretty sure that's all in my file also... But I was past the point if caring. Lol... Well except when I got the bills. When you check yourself out of the hospital without doctor approval apparently insurance can decide not to pay your bill. I had to get an attorney and it was very scarey. I thought I'd have to live the rest of my life in the poor house because of some air head doctor. So don't do that. Now we just drive down to Dallas like speed racers.

I'm crossing my fingers that you do not go into a flare.

Hang in there my friend.

Clo
Posted 9/15/2022 8:43 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks, clo! Yes, and my favorite GI I ever had (he moved out of state several years ago) used to dictate all his notes into this little microphone thing right while I was there during all our appointments. At first, I found it a little weird/humorous, but it was actually great because if he messed something up I had just told him, I could correct him right there in real time, so that was actually kind of helpful.

I just meant pain medication during a scope/surgery via the IV. That's standard practice in my experience. Oh my god, that is hilarious/amazing/awful you had to rip out your IV and call an ambulance and only then they decided to trreat you with some dignity. I admire that you did that and aren't afraid to speak up though. I HATE being treated like an addict or pill seeker! Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, I hoard any pain meds I do get because I've been in such severe pain so many times for so long with no relief. Wow, that's insane...you can't check yourself out of the hospital and still have insurance cover it?! ***. i'm sick of some doctors thinking they're gods.

Thank you.
Posted 9/15/2022 8:48 PM (GMT -8)
P.S. I haven't had a BM in 3 days. Not a great sign. And I barely took any pain meds and haven't taken any in 2 days so I don't think it's that. I can't find anything online saying this surgery poses a risk of a UC flare. I think I will ask my GI if he knows anything about that. This whole thing seems quite rare. Also, my surgeon still hasn't sent the biopsy report to my GI. I have asked them several times now. I really hate her. I still can't believe she made up a total lie about me, with very specific details that never even happened. Anyway, I think I will take some Miralax. I had a BM the day after the scope/surgery.
Posted 9/16/2022 1:09 PM (GMT -8)
Crossing my fingers and toes for no flare! I think you’ll be fine. You’ve never been in remission before when you had a scope. Might have a week or so of symptoms but stay on top of things so they don’t progress.

I know that constipation is a weak point to opening me up to disease so I stay on top of that. One day without a BM and I start with stool softeners and follow up with miralax.
Posted 9/16/2022 1:46 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks. I asked my GI if that HPV surgery poses a risk for flares and he said no! I trust him way more than that surgeon, so Im less worried about it now. Also, I pooped this morning and it was more formed than usual. Thank you for the advice and input!
Posted 9/16/2022 3:17 PM (GMT -8)
Go to a doctor rating website like Healthgrades.com and write an appropriate review on as many rating websites you can find. But maybe don't appear too inflammatory, that may reflect more on you than her. Use words like "she made false statements" rather than she is a damn "gaslighting liar" even if she is a gaslighting liar.
Posted 9/16/2022 5:26 PM (GMT -8)
Lol. Yeah, I've been trying to do that. I posted a review twice on Google and it disappeared shortly after... maybe I was too inflammatory. Hard for me to control myself sometimes. Thank you!
Posted 9/17/2022 5:50 AM (GMT -8)
you can file a complaint with your states medical board if you want to.
Posted 9/17/2022 7:51 AM (GMT -8)
Thanks. I'll look into that. They didn't monitor my heart either. I've always gotten those little sticky things put on my chest to do an EKG while out. Not this time. They didn't even take my blood pressure before leaving or have me hooked up to any machines for more than 30 seconds before the scope. They did so many things wrong but I just can't believe she made up lies about me.
Posted 9/17/2022 9:07 AM (GMT -8)
I am sorry to hear about this, Sara. You've had bad luck with doctors, it's very frustrating. I've gotten to the point where I avoid then at much as possible. I am really thankful you never had surgery with her too. She sounds awful!
Posted 9/17/2022 9:33 AM (GMT -8)
Thanks, Kay! Yes, I've had some horrible luck with doctors! Have had a few really good ones in there too but then they moved or I did. Yes, so glad I never had a major surgery with her. I hear you, I don't want to go to another doctor any time soon unless I have to. I'm over it!

I just wiped after a BM and saw bright red blood and just about freaked out. It's one week post surgery and this is the first time I've seen any blood. They cauterized the area and stuck this weird GelFoam stuff up there that I guess stops bleeding the first day (I was not told they'd be doing that either and had no idea what this weird thing was sticking out of my butt...it looks almost like part of your body...kind of freaky if you arent expecting it...). Anyway, I googled it and apparently some blood can appear for 2 or 3 weeks, so it is probably just that.
Posted 9/17/2022 5:29 PM (GMT -8)
Sara,

Last time I had surgery they "scraped" my anus. Whatever that means . I had this fake skin stuff stuck to it.... It drove me nuts. I wiped enough that I got rid of it.... Then it bled for a couple of weeks off and on. It was just every once in awhile. Maybe she used some of that on you?

I swear it felt like that liquid bandaid stuff... Or like when you get super glue on your finger. There was a couple of moments where I thought maybe they were trying to super glue my back end shut. Oh... BTW... They really do use a super glue like stuff in surgery/cuts situations. I chopped open my finger and they glued it back together...

They should have to record your surgery so you can watch it later... LOL. Could you imagine?.

Clo

Clo
Posted 9/17/2022 7:48 PM (GMT -8)
Yes, she used something she called GelFoam. It sounds like what you're describing...to me it felt like this waxy mushy substance. I didn't know what the heck it was, so at first, I squeezed it and then tried to pull it out--all this while Im still super out of it from sedation and lack of sleep and Im trying to stare at this weird thing sticking out of my butthole in my mirror (LOL)--but it wouldn't come out and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to leave it so I didn't pull much, ha. I didn't like the sensation of having something stuck up there even though it was just moldable mushy stuff. I didn't have that when she did the same surgery in 2015. The info they sent me home with says it's mostly to keep blood up there and that it somehow helps with pain slightly. Why would they want to plug up blood? I don't get it. Like, I don't think it would actually stop the bleeding, just stop it from getting in your underwear. I'm sure I'm missing something. Doesn't really matter.

That's hilarious about them gluing your finger back together. I had no idea. Haha. Scraping your anus doesn't sound too pleasant. How do all of you who get GI surgeries deal with going to the bathroom over fresh wounds? I mean, it's really not too bad for me but I was thinking about more serious surgeries and if that hurts. I guess IBD prepares us to deal with a lot of pain anyway...
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