Posted 2/21/2023 7:36 PM (GMT -8)
Welcome to the forum. Although I wish you didn't have to find it.... It's a great place for support and information.
Food does not cause UC or Crohn's. Your husband needs to have a conversation with your doctor so your doctor can explain what causes this disease and it's treatments. Next time try to get him to go into the appointment with you if possible. If not--there are books available about this disease----or there are studies from Mayo Clinic online--that give the same information. Highlight the items you think he needs to know and place it out where he can see it. (Although some spouses are not open to discourse and a realignment of their thinking.) Medical diagnosis causes fear in our spouses and they can "act out" and "strike out" in an unacceptable fashion because of their fear and their inability to battle it for/with you.
My husband wondered about what caused my disease too.... Then he thought food made my UC/Crohn's better or worse. I painstakingly kept a food journal and discovered He was sorta right and I was sorta wrong. There are some things that cause me to have a difficult time. At the beginning there were a lot of them--but with medication and working with my GI they are fewer. He'd notice that my disease was worse if I ate sweets, canned tomatoes, and that the only thing I could keep down when it was really bad was SCD bone broth, SCD yogurt, homemade beef jerky and cheetos. So sometimes when he was waving his arms and trying to get my attention....he had noticed something I hadnt.
Crying after having a diagnosis of UC or Crohn's is normal. I think that everyone I have ever met that was diagnosed with UC or Crohn's has cried about their diagnosis at one time or another.
Your life is going to change... If you face your challenges head on and seek treatment you will be better off. You get to decide how you handle this disease. I'm a type A personality....organized and alittle OCD. I made spread sheets, read books and researched, tried new supplements, kept a food journal and kept copious notes. This was a calming pattern of behavior for me.....and the information I gathered helped me. What's important for you to know is that everyone is different, not everything works for everyone the same way, and you will discover so much about yourself during this journey. You are stronger than you know. One if my friends is so laid back about her disease it stresses me out.... But that's the way she has to deal with it.
Finally, if I were your parent I'd want to know. I'd be there to help my child while they were moving....going thru the tests... And I'd be there on the phone if they ever needed just to talk to me about things without my actually being there... If that's what they needed. I realize that may not be the relationship you have with your parents or siblings....
Perhaps you have friends you could reach out to? I have an "adopted" daughter that I just adore. She's so very special to me and if she needed me..... I'd be there for her too. Make no mistake...shes one of my kids.... I talk to her daily, debate with her frequently and ring a peal over her head when she does something that causes me concern....and I tell her everyday how much I appreciate and love her. She makes my heart happy just by being her--even when she doesn't listen to me .. So your support system does not have to always be a "blood relative."
Hang in there. The group here--they are exceptional IBD warriors with a vast amount of shared knowledge--they help others so much and there's a diverse group of experiences to draw from.
Please check in and let us know how it goes.