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OT: Why do I end up seeing so many awful doctors?

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 2/24/2023 1:10 PM (GMT -8)
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Post Edited (Sara14) : 3/7/2023 10:33:18 PM (GMT-8)

Posted 2/24/2023 1:33 PM (GMT -8)
Oh wow! Well one question I can actually answer is "Is it just me?" My first, very selfish, thought was "Oh so I'm not the only one!" I have one doctor currently that I actually like and I don't know if she counts - my optometrist! LOL.

You recently read some of my complaints about my GI. I'm at the point where I wonder if she is trying to "quietly fire" me, along the lines of "quiet quitting".

My family doctor/GP I like as a person, she is very caring, but she is always rushed and I feel like I am in a whirlwind whenever I speak to her and can't remember everything I need to say to her even though I write it all down first. And her office manager is a crab to deal with, I hate having to call her office for anything.

On and on I could go. I used to go to a walk-in clinic when I couldn't get an appointment with my GP fast enough and saw a doctor who immigrated from one of those middle eastern countries where they consider women to be beneath them. So condescending. His response to my questions was invariably "Oh you wouldn't understand even if I explained it to you."

Don't beat yourself up about not being assertive enough. In addition to being tired, it is natural to be anxious and even intimidated (well in my case anyway) when dealing with doctors. I just want to get treatment and not piss off the doctor. Then I fume because why do they get to piss me off? The power imbalance is so unfair.
Posted 2/24/2023 1:51 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks. Sorry you've had to deal with that also. My PCP is actually the only doctor I currently have who I really like. My GI is also pretty good--knowledgeable and very quick to respond to questions and his staff is pleasant and helpful--but he's 4 hours away and I've only been meeting with him virtually and really need to try to find someone local again at least for scopes.

I know what you mean about it being tough to be assertive while also trying to be a "likeable" patient and not wanting to piss the doctor off. It sucks. I left a poor review of both the doctors I saw this week online. It would be nice if we didn't have any health issues at all and didn't have to see so many doctors!
Posted 2/25/2023 11:59 AM (GMT -8)
All these doctors offices are overbooked and understaffed, not an excuse for them but the reality we must all face and work within.

It's annoying reminding our doctors of basic crap that's on our chart they should've looked at right before talking to us, but it happens regularly to me.

Yeah I'm often rushed. Takes a while to go to the doctor's office, check-in, wait to be called, then only speak to the doctor for 4 minutes. Pretty standard.

Next obgyn visit, regardless of doc just say please tell me as a courtesy when you're about to do something and what you're checking for. I don't think that's an unreasonable request.

I find it helpful to write a list of questions, bring it with you, cross them off as they're answered to make sure it's all covered. If the list is extensive, then send the list ahead of time through the patient portal or as a voicemail
Posted 2/25/2023 2:02 PM (GMT -8)
Yeah, I definitely plan to do that with the next GYN, IF i ever see one again. I've never had to before and I shouldn't have had to this time though.

I expect more from my doctors than 4 minutes. I don't think my expectations are unreasonable though. Not really looking for advice, but validation.
Posted 2/26/2023 5:20 PM (GMT -8)
Validation here.....I thought it was just me..... Not glad but good to know I am not the only one out there experiencing this.

On the shoving stuff in without notification... I tell them frequently that I am not the patient they want to do that do.... And if they ever forget I squeel and carry on loudly so other patients hear me and the caregiver NEVER wants to deal with me like that again. Then I apologize while wiping my eyes and say... Well next time we will have to remember not to do that again. Lol....

I am sorta OCD.... So I take questions in with me. When the doctor walks in ..I also... (I know I'm an a55....) say I know my insurance only pays you for 15 or 20 minutes so let's go over these questions. Then I look at my watch at the end and say... Well we only have XX minutes left... What extra information/actions would you recommend for me? That was the only way that I found that was a nice way to demand my allocated time. I didn't want to make them upset but did want them to know I expected my allotted time.... Usually I get everything done within the 15 minutes..... (The notes help keep me on task.,) And my physicians all ask if there is anything else before they go now.

I also use bribery. Sigh... Periodic gifts to them and their staff of sweets, candies or casseroles with recipe cards and premade finger food trays. I only have 1 physician assistant that I can't win over.....

Maybe someone else has some other things the could recommend?

Clo
Posted 2/26/2023 5:33 PM (GMT -8)
That's amazing. You're my role model! Lol. Seriously, love that. I almost always go in with a list of questions as well, but have never thought to be so upfront about the time limits. That's brilliant. This time I was also very tired and didn't write my questions down which was a mistake.

The GYN visit threw me for a total loop because she was acting more like she was trying to be my PCP, which I've never experienced before from a specialist in any field, and I also knew this was a new patient appointment in addition to her wanting a pap smear since it had been a year since I got the colposcopy, so I thought I'd be patient and let her go over all her questions for the intake. But I still thought we'd eventually get to my colposcopy results and her tentative recommendations at some point. I did leave a message with her nurse with my questions the next morning, but they never called me back to discuss (the appointment was tuesday and I only got my results because they showed up in the patient portal), and I doubt they will now because I left an absolutely awful review on Google and also with her office manager. I looked up the recommendations on my own on a variety of sites and medical journals and they say for my very low level of dysplasia from HPV (non 16/18 types, which cause the most cervical cancer) to just monitor it, so I'm not worried about it. Still frustrating I wasted my time and money and the exam really upset me.

Thank you for the validation and tips! Really appreciate it.
Posted 2/26/2023 8:20 PM (GMT -8)
I don’t have any great suggestions but if you find a good doctor that you like then why don’t you ask them for recommendations of other doctors in different fields. They know you and might be able to make a good recommendation based your interactions with them and what they know about others the doctors.

I also try to stay in a certain healthcare/hospital provider systems - not all of them are equal. In the teaching hospital system that I go to the visit routine is LN/RN (check vitals and takes notes), NP (comes in & chats about symptoms and handles refills), then the doc or surgeon comes in (does exam, goes over notes from nurse & NP with, makes plans for future stuff). I’ll travel for a good doctor, it’s worth it for me.
Posted 2/26/2023 9:10 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks, Keith.
Posted 2/27/2023 9:13 AM (GMT -8)
So, apparently, my body cleared the high risk strain of HPV. So thank God I don't have to have any treatment or more procedures done for it. I guess I was seeing old results in this portal when I looked last Wednesday which is weird because it's not Mychart and I've never been on it before and no one ever called and corrected me after I called the GYN. Thank God for these medical result online portals or I swear I would not get any results or accurate info. half the time. I didn't know if my body would clear it because the low risk strain I had/have stuck around and came back for 8 years. I'm happy my body did something right for me, lol. And now I don't need a GYN. I'll just go back to my PCP for future paps. Thank god.
Posted 2/27/2023 10:38 AM (GMT -8)
Well that is fantastic news Sara! I am so happy to read this.

And I have to echo your sentiment regarding thank god for online medical results. UGH, what I used to have to go through just to get copies of my results. It was like pulling teeth sometimes. I used to always say "If I got paid what dentists get paid, I wouldn't mind so much." Who needs all the extra hassle?
Posted 2/27/2023 12:31 PM (GMT -8)
I haven't had that problem with a gyn ... it would have freaked me out too. When I had to get iron infusions they were done at an oncologist's office and the doctor did an exam the first time I was there. I thought it was a little odd that I had to lay on an exam table so he could press on my abdomen like the GI does, but then without warning he flipped my top up so he could listen to my heart. I was shocked. I had never had a doctor do that before. They always listen through my clothes ... even when I was hospitalized. I knew I wasn't going to be seeing him often (I did have to go back for a 2nd one) so I didn't say anything. It creeped me out, but I guess that's the way he was taught. I still think he should have said something before he did it. Weird that no other doctor I have ever seen wasn't taught like that.
Posted 2/27/2023 12:32 PM (GMT -8)
Good news about the HPV! That has to be a relief!
Posted 2/27/2023 1:02 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks, Serenity. I hope you are not feeling too bad with your current flare.

Thanks, PA. Yeah, it's a relief. That's crazy about the doctor just flipping your shirt up. I would NOT have appreciated that either. A little warning would be nice!
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