Hon, the last thing you need is someone to make you feel worse about
yourself. Obviously, I can say you shouldn't allow him to do that to you, but that's rather difficult when it's your spouse and you live together -- and worse yet, you never get a break from each other if he's working at a home based business. Shame on him for doing that to you.
Only you know what's right for you as far as staying or leaving, working on your marriage or throwing in the towel. Have you had a frank discussion with your husband about
all of this? If you are feeling well enough, could you get a part-time job, if only to make some social connections and get out of the house a bit? As a person with major depression issues myself, I know that feeling of stuckness and it just sucks. Depression zaps your energy and gets your thinking all out of whack -- at least it did for me. Getting out of the house always gave me so much better perspective. I was not stupid or awful. The world was full of people with problems -- some even bigger than my own!!! Perspective, perspective, perspective.
I think the advice to seek counseling is a good one, but I understand, too, the costs involved can be enormous. How receptive do you believe your husband would be to attending counseling? Are you members of a church where you could perhaps get counseling on a free or on a sliding scale basis? Have you checked out Al-Anon? Even if your husband has been sober for 11 years, I've found many alcoholics hang onto alcoholic-like behavior, even when they are no longer drinking. The issues are still there as if he's drinking but he's not. Maybe you could find some effective ways of dealing with those issues by talking with spouses and loved ones of others in the same situation.
He has no right to be jealous of your relationship with your son, but people are just people. He should keep his cutting words to himself. This is your son, after all, and if you see him twice a year, he should be able to put up with practically anything for that limited period of time. That is really uncalled for.
As to stealing your meds -- unforgivable, unconscionable. No excuse for that, and certainly is a red flag for addiction-like behavior again.
I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I hope I've offered some commiseration and some ideas for a start.
Hugs,
Mitz
Sporadic proctitis since about
1985. Mother had UC, then J-pouch surgery 1983.
DX'd with clostridium difficile in 2000. Prednisone, two courses of Flagyl, then Vancomycin finally got rid of it. Symptomatic with UC after that.
Colonoscopy in 2001 dx'd left-sided UC. Was pretty darn ill at that time. Treated with prednisone, Rowasa, Asacol. Asacol not working so switched to Imuran. Three small flares since in 2002, 2005, and 2007.
Gall bladder attack 6/13; ultrasound showed stones; surgery before end of 2007.
100 mg Azathioprine and 225 mg Effexor XR (for chronic, longstanding depression) daily.
Post Edited (MitzMN) : 10/2/2007 9:53:10 AM (GMT-6)