Hi everyone, depressing post here, just warning you all.
I am feeling stuck in a dead-end marriage. Quincy, you have counseled me on this before and I thought things were getting better, well, they were for a while. My husband is a recovering alcoholic, (been sober from drinking 11 years now), but his addiction has only shifted to other things. For a while it was real-estate. THen it was Drag racing, Now it's Hunting. I wake up and hunting shows are on, I go to bed and hunting shows are on. I have a few prescriptions that my dr. has given me to help me deal with my U/C, such as Xanax and Ambien for sleep at night. If I don't hide the pill bottles, he takes most of them and if I run out, too bad for me....
I have finally found a good hiding spot and he hasn't been taking them for a couple of weeks now, but our relationship has been changing, less to no sex, (sorry everyone) we are more like roommates than a married couple. I have been thinking about moving into another bedroom. I can't move out because I have 3 horses and a dog and no job outside the home. He can't move out because of our home based business, I have worked outside the home and actually owned an art gallery, but had to sell it due to my U/C.
I swear, this is going to sound weird, but right now I have no desire to even have a relationship with a man, and was thinking I would be happy living here with my husband just as roommates, each of us doing our own thing.... Me with my horses and him with his "whatever"..... He has a way of making me feel bad about myself.... he's a name caller, (not foul names) just things like " a whiny schoolgirl" or he says I act like my son's girlfriend instead of his mother. I only see my son 2 times a year and when he's here, I like to spend all my time with him... Is that bad???? Sorry to vent, but my U/C has actually been holding itself at bay through all this, due to taking my meds RELEGIOUSLY, but I don't know if it can hold out for ever with all this crap going on in my mind.
I know that nobody can really do anything for me, but I just had to vent out my feelings and maybe get a few hugs from you guys here... thanks for listening and I hope it wasn't too depressing....