Just saw the funniest thing on The View

Evidently Whoopi Goldberg has an affinity for Toto Toilets from Japan that has remote controls to wash your front, your back - with hard stream of water or soft, and temperature control.  It also has a blow dryer.  It seems like the dream john for us UC'ers

bob

I bought one ten years ago and it's still working great. Mine doesn't dry but it has heated water with a variable stream. It's worth every penny I spent. You just wash and pat dry. Not only does it clean you better than toilet paper but it doesn't hurt your skin.