Dating and UC...How can I help him?

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/28/2007 11:48 PM (GMT -6)   
I've recently started dating a really great man, 39 years old.  He has told me about his UC and the surgery he had to remove his colan, as well as showed me the scar...a ileoanal anastomosis (j-pouch) as I understand it from researching it a bit.  He has told me that he has to watch his diet and he also has a alergy to wheat.  He is on a great deal of medications and dietary supplements from what I have noticed.  He does seem to spend a great deal of time in the bathroom and goes quite frequently.  I can understand this given the drastic nature of the procedure.  Also, this type of problem existis in my own extended family, so I am somewhat famaliar with it. 
He seems to me to be a bit cautionary about being intimate and maybe feels embarrassed or that he is unworthy of being cared about, or even loved because of what he is going through.  I might even say that he may even use it as an excuse to keep people (women) at a distance.  I really like this man, and have for some time now.  I've told him that we all have medical problems that we all have to deal with, and I am no different.  I want him to know that I am understanding and supportive of his health, both physical and mental.  I know that he has being dealing with this for a long time before I came along, and will deal with it for the rest of his life and my presence willl not change that fact.
Does anyone have any suggestions for what I can say, or do, or not do, or not say to help let him know that I am there for him and maybe make it easier for him to open up to me?
Is there anything I should know about when being with someone with this condition?
Does anyone have any suggestions for what kind of foods I should stay away from if I want to make him dinner, so as to not irritate his condition?
Any and all suggestions and/or comments are greatly appriciated.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 10/29/2007 7:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi and welcome to Healingwell :) It's so thoughtful of you to want to do these things for your boyfriend. He's lucky to have you. Many of us here still have our colons so you might get limited responses so my suggestion is for you to either check out our Ostomy forum or visit
Left sided Uc -'92 - Colazal, Canasa, 6mp, Prilosec, Biotin, Forvia
Allergies - Singulair, Allegra, Astelin(got the script - just haven't tried it yet!)
Secondary Reynauds Syndrome - '04 - Norvasc
Fibromyalgia - '06 
@--->--Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC--<---@


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